I have only been rambling for a few days and already I am struggling to reach peak fitness. Perhaps I have overdone it walking to the pub. Now I have got a pain in my leg. Somebody suggested it might be a shin splint.
I didn’t know what that was, so I thought I would try the latest NHS diagnostic technique. I Googled it and Google led me to a world renowned medical authority— the Mayo Clinic. No delays, no waiting for hours on trolleys, no catching other patients’ infections while you wait. I didn’t even need to speak to a doctor. Just a tap on the iPad and up pops the answer. Google thinks I have got Medial Tibial Stress Syndrome.
I am in good company because it affects runners, dancers and military recruits. Mind you I am a bit too old to join the army, unless they would give me a desk job firing missiles or spying on enemy positions using drones. Nor have I caught up with Mo Farah when I have been out walking, of course he is a little bit faster than me. So I can only conclude I must have injured myself while I was watching Strictly Come Dancing on the tele. Maybe I could sue the BBC for consequential damage. I will have to speak to my – “No Win, No Fee” lawyer about it.
The website did offer two bits of useful advice. Firstly, consider buying new walking shoes every 350 to 500 miles —- so I should need a new pair by about 2027. Secondly, get plenty of bed rest—- so I have told my wife Mo, I will only get out of bed every other day for a few months.
Finally, if, I really still want to see a doctor, the website offered me an appointment. Sadly, Arizona, Minnesota and Florida all seemed a bit too far away, especially with my poorly leg.
Still, virtual-do-it -yourself health services may take a lot of pressure off the NHS and thanks to Google there is one less hospital bed taken up by an older person. I could have been in there for days with MTSS.