Rugby Balls🏉

The Rugby Football Union are extremely concerned about the corona virus now that two International matches against Italy have had to be cancelled.     They are very worried about the loss of income if more matches can’t go ahead, so they have devised a cunning plan, which involves a new set of rules for the game.

  • The pitch will be disinfected before the match and players scoring a try will not touch down in case it gets the ball dirty.
  • Wipe ball with anti-septic cloth before passing it on to another player.
  • No touching other players just shout BOO!
  • No drinking from shared bottles, the game is to be stopped every 10 minutes for players to get their own bottle from the touch line.
  • Players with a blood injury during the game will be immediately be sent to hospital and blood tested. They can return to the pitch if they can get back before the match is over.
  • All pies and pints sold will contain a small measure of Dettol to protect other spectators.   This is not likely to make the pies taste any different😀
  • Players temperatures will be tested at half time and anyone over  98 degrees will be given a red card and sent into quarantine for the next two weeks.
  • The referee will not be allowed to blow his whistle as it might spread germs, instead he will wave a red flag 🚩 and jump up and down on the spot until the players stop running about.
  • There will be no hand shakes after match just buy every one a drink of vitamin C.
  • Spectators are most welcome, because the RFU needs the income, but they should not sing or shout during the game, just polite clapping and definitely no high fives.
  • After the game they should troupe out of the ground leaving five feet between them and the next person.    This may mean it take four or five hours to exit the stadium.
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3 Responses to Rugby Balls🏉

  1. Mo Graham says:

    Don’t think you need to worry yourself unnecessarily over any of this John – it’s being muted that possibly all O.A.P’s over 70 will be banned from attending matches anyway, so you’ll just have to stop at home and watch your Rugby on the telly!

    Question: If this is an official Ban, does that mean Leicester Tigers will reimburse you on the cost of your (very expensive) Season Ticket???


  2. Ovalpills
    Ladies, or should I say laddies? Where the hell are we all going? To the nearest nursery retreat? Where have those bare chested warriors gone to? Do we have to watch women’s rugby games or a group of ‘fairies’ who may be strong, virile and yet welcome one shaven and with a kiss and a smell of odour colone’, instead of a smack in the gut and hold to pin one to the ground? It just depends how aggressive you may wish your opponent or partner to Be?
    Partner, {S} I see Mo has retired to the TV screen, and the image of her ideal man? Or men playing with their balls? John you are in my minds eye still an effigy to behold, even is Mo has you demoted to an image on the TV Screen!!!
    At the gentle age of 70+ one of the the ideal ball sports is golf?or maybe a pursuit of walking the lanes, parks, canals with COCOA in hand chasing and retrieving the ball or stick that that burly person/image John may hurl about space!!!
    Nice one duckkie- give me a kiss???? How far are we apart? Not 5 feet, but I hope close or closer as contributors to this ‘Blog’ of yours??? Hear from you soon?

  3. 14th. Saturday daily Mail, now we have the a;;edged details of a ‘shut down’ ‘lock down’ in the UK, and the oldies and vulnerable, have adopt the realistic view?? One has to take a deep breath and rely upon the younger family and their friends for support!!! It is all sobering- Is it a repeat of the great plague??? I wonder.
    I must have faith, we must have trust in our faiths or beliefs/YES???? Do you kind reader have the solution.

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