Following on from my series of blogs on Rugby in the era of Coronapop, it is now obvious that this season is over. So I have been thinking about how we can start the next season without the silly rules that have been dreamt up by the RFU “old farts”.
We have been through the SOCIAL ISOLATION stage when all the players stayed at home and were paid for doing nothing. That must have been extremely difficult for them. Now they are in the SOCIAL DISTANCING phase where they can start training for the re-opening of the game. Passing the ball might be a problem with all those germs, but they should be OK if they wear gloves.
The critical problem is starting a contact sport without having any contact. Up until now the “old farts” have not been able to figure this out. Prime Minister Bodj, sparked an idea for a great strategy for rugby using his classical education. It is based on SHIELDING as deployed by the Romans.
The players will have PPE similar to that worn by gladiators. Helmets, Brest plates, shoulder pads and …… sandals? Sadly, or gladly, there will be no weapons, even for the Saracens players. But, in Bodj’s words, the game-changer will be the the use of shields by all the forwards. The shields will allow lots of pushing and shoving without any personal contact.
The referee and the linesmen will will be encased inside plastic bubbles, which might limit their movement around around the pitch. If there is a wind, they may get blown about a bit, but that should add to the fun. Especially if all three officials end up down one end of the pitch and the play is at the other end🤡 The other slight problem is that the players won’t be able to hear the whistle when the ref is in his bubble🤡 The “old farts” are still thinking about that !
BREAKING NEWS. Before I could finish this blog Prime Minister Bodj decided the game could restart in August.
That will mean the 9 games left in the 2019/2020 season can be completed in August and September, with the Premiership finals played in October. The “old farts” are delighted by this news, because the 2019/2020 season will overlap with the start of the 2020/2021 season. The extra dosh will come in very handy, although the players may have to play two, three, or four games a week for a few months, if you include the Autumn Internationals and the remaining European games.