New Muddled Ages plus 4

Still trying to solve some of the UK’s great missions as sketchily outlined by our new gifted leader – Sir Keir Stammer; it’s time to turn our attention to ENERGY AND CRIME. How to get more energy and less crime?

The link between crime and punishment seems to have been broken in recent years, as more and more crimes go unreported; or are unsolved; or offenders are given non-custodial sentences. Even when persistent offenders are finally incarcerated, they have to be released early due to overcrowded prisons. The system just isn’t working.

The Last Laugh Looney Party once again has a radical solution🤡Treadmills 🤡

Make prisons a place you don’t want to return to. No TV’s, no telephones, no drugs, no shortened sentences. Just tough restitution. Twelve hour shifts on the treadmill for all able bodied prisoners will generate a lot of power for the National Grid. What’s more it will double the capacity of our prisons, if a new hot bedding policy is implemented, in which each cell is to be used by two prisoners.

This means there will be no need for new prisons to be built, saving millions of pounds. Another positive spin off is that prisoners will be far too tired to take drugs. Finally, reoffending rates are expected to plummet as few will want to return to this harsh regime.

As the demand for more energy increases we may in future need to introduce longer sentences to give prisoners more time on the treadmills. Indeed as the gifted Mr Stammer closes the last of our gas fired power stations it is estimated there will need to be another 10,000 prisoners for each station closed.

The gifted Mr Stammer with his extensive legal experience has a an answer for that— more types of offence🤡

  • Exceeding the new national 20 miles per hour speed limit in built up areas, which could be almost anywhere when they have built 1,500 new houses in the next 5 years.
  • No Smoking inside pubs, outside pubs and within 5 miles of a pub. Or a restaurant, or a coffee bar, or any where you can eat something.
  • No Working in the office more than once a year. Or if you are a civil servant even going into the office at all, except for parties at Christmas.
  • Misgendering anybody by referring to him as her; or she as he; or them as it; or any pronoun as another pronoun.

The gifted Mr Stammer will undoubtedly lead us into this brave new world and get us out of the muddle we are in —————————- or he won’t.

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1 Response to New Muddled Ages plus 4

  1. with the crack of a whip, on my greek built galley ship, and as the LLLP suggest a crew of prisoners under sentence serving their days of remorse and putting society right, pulling on the oars as the vesels loaded with boat migrants, returning them to the EUROPEAN Mainland for the correct immigration controls, and ensuring those that may arrive in the UK have been correctly vetted and registered as true immigrants to the UK.
    The oars man in the galley, physically pulling on their oars, making the jouneys from and too mainlan europe and the UK, pulling in time with each other, learning what society law and order rules are meant to be??? Helping society to help each other, not one for all, and all for none.
    Just imagine sir Keith Stammer in a galley not as the helmsman, but on an oar, pulling in time with the rest of us. The helmsman, well that is the speaker of the COMMONS asking us all and the rest of parliament to comment and raise a question in respectable language, like the ladies and gentlemen we all wish to be!!!!!! GOODDIIE
    Come on Join the LOONIE Party, comments please, or a tick in the box.

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