Internet Sensation !

For all my subscribers who receive my blog post by Email you may have seen that an advert has appeared on my last post claiming to sponsor it.    It is rather surprising because I have never heard of the product.

Still I expect the royalties will start rolling in any minute now 🙂

The advert is for beauty and fitness products, so I can perfectly well understand why they chose me to endorse their goods, rather than David Beckham.     I would not be at all surprised if they don’t ask me to star in the TV ads as well.

This could be the start of a whole new chapter in my later life.   It might go global, or viral.  In no time at all I could be world wide blogging billionaire with millions, no zillions of followers !

Free cars, free hotels, maybe my own TV show on the shopping channels.   I wonder if I should get an agent and a PR man and a personal stylist and a bodyguard or two.

Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.    I haven’t received any commission just yet.

Oh and I would not recommend you buying any of the products, they might bring you out in SPOTS !

 

Posted in SMILES | 6 Comments

European Last Laugh Goodbye

The Last Laugh Looney Party secret European project is finally reaching a conclusion.

Back in July 2017 I posted a blog about the LLLP and it’s “ISLAND” Project to gradually take over the islands around the British Isles, as a trade off with the European Union and the British Government for helping to solve Brexit.  You can see my earlier blogs by clicking on LLLP in the TAG CLOUD.

After some initial success at the start of the negotiations, the LLLP decided to take more of a back seat.  This was because it became obvious that there were already enough loonies in the cabinet.   After two years of lots of talking, but not a lot of listening, Mr Junket – the European Chief Non-Negotiator, Mrs Miserable Merkle – the German We’re All Right Jack Prime Minister, Mr Macarony – the French President of Haute Cuisine and Mrs MaybeMaybenot all fell for hook, line and sinker for the LLLP strategy for creating mayhem at every opportunity.   Especially the sinker bit.

Many MP’s have already started to jump ship, including all of the Democratic Unionist Party, who have agreed to allow Northern “ISLAND” to become part of the LLLP Island Republic, providing the LLLP digs a canal between them and Ireland.   Half of Scotland is also thinking that way too, so they have already started to rebuild Hadrians Wall and man it with raging Billy Connolly’s .   Wales already has Offas Dyke which they plan to flood with water from the River Severn.

Mrs MaybeMaybenot will still be in charge of the British Isle, which will only comprise England.   All the other parts of Britain, who voted to remain part of the European Union, will now become part of the LLLP Island Republic.

All this will happen by 30 March or at the latest, 1 April.

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Eating the Clutter Elephant

  • This is my first progress report on my 2019 decluttering plan.  The first thing to say is as of yet I haven’t decluttered anything but I need to start out with a strategy and a plan.  So here goes:-c

Strategy

  • We only need a maximum of one years supply of anything;
  • But, we don’t need a years supply of everything;
  • Nothing should remain in a box for more than one year;
  • That will give us lots of storage space and lots of boxes to throw away;
  • Then we will have more space in the home.

Plan

  • Empty wardrobe boxes of clothes not worn for a year;
  • Turn around winter / summer wardrobe, taking stuff off rails and into empty boxes;
  • Give away clothes not used in the last year to charity shop;
  • Throw last years’ paperwork away, one file at a time;
  • File in-tray paperwork into now emptied files;
  • Burn old bank paperwork and invoices.
  • Throw yesterdays papers away TODAY

 

FIRST PROGRESS REPORT.  “NOT MUCH PROGRESS”

1 am obviously better at talking about it than doing it.   Still I have a chance of catching up in the next few weeks

P. S.    I have got rid of all the Christmas wrapping paper and a heap of cardboard before it had time to become clutter.   That’s ‘preventative de-cluttering’ I suppose.

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DeClutter-A-Day

Happy New Year!

I obviously had a moment of de-cluttering breakdown with my last post “Learn to Love Clutter”.   It’s not a strategy that will ever work for me.

Seems  like almost a year has gone by since my heroic efforts at de-cluttering fizzled out.   I ran out of steam, but sadly I didn’t run out of clutter.   (See all my earlier efforts by clicking on “Clutter” in the Tag Cloud).

Now that the days have already closed in, I need a new project for the indoor winter months.    I won’t let this clutter mound beat me and I have yet another idea of how I might get on top of it.

How do you eat an elephant ?      Answer…….. One bite at a time !

So my project for 2019 is to De-Clutter one thing a day every day for a year.    Three hundred and sixty-five things less should make a hole in the clutter and one thing at a time shouldn’t be too difficult.

There again what do you do when you have close to 365 socks with no feet to walk in ….and 365 shirts hanging lifelessly on a wardrobe rail unworn for another year ……and 365 bits of important papers piling up in the office waiting to be filed …….and 365 ties untied, longing for a meeting or a day out ……and 365 plantless pots in the garden sheds ……  and 365 books read and unread  ……….and 365 photographs waiting for an album ……and 365 of so much more unused, days-over, dust gathering, nobody loves me former treasures?

I will write a progress blog report every week using my new Clutter Elephant logo.   That should keep me under pressure to continue de-cluttering.

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Learn to Love Clutter ?

Maybe there is an alternative to continuously unsuccessfully de-cluttering.    Perhaps I should become a hoarder and completely reverse my thinking about clutter ?

Become a collector of EVERYTHING 😀😀😀😀😀🤡

Starting with SOCKS.   Why not, it is as good a place to begin as any other and I have a drawer full already to get me started.

Then I could move on to CUSHIONS,  you can never have too many cushions !    Scatter cushions everywhere and you can be reassured that when you keep tripping over them you will have a soft landing.   More cushions for everyone could save the NHS millions !   They should be on everyone’s next prescription.

PAPER.   Now there’s a thing to easily collect.   It comes through the letter box every day.  No longer think of it as junk mail, just something to add to your collection.    One day it may become valuable and think of all the post people you are keeping in work.   Forget about the trees in the Amazon rain forest.

BOOKS are another overwhelming thing.   Once you have read them you are unlikely to read them again, but why throw them away.   Stack them on shelves so they can gather dust.    Or use a few of them to level up uneven table legs.    They will also help to insulate you outside walls which should save on your heating bills.

In just a few decades your house could become a museum and you could charge people to come and view your junk 😀    Or you could apply for planning permission for your house to become an antique shop.

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Special Delivery !

It was a special day today for someone in the Graham household.   Lots of cards through the letterbox and flowers delivered to the door, all for Mo’s birthday.    But, there was one important one missing.   The day before, the postie had dropped a note on the front door mat to say that there was a special delivery which he or she had not been able to deliver because there was no-one in to sign for it.  Evidently Number One son had wanted to be sure his card would not be late so he paid extra for ‘garenteed delivery’.   Sadly he didn’t figure that both parents might be out and about when the letter arrived.

Now you have to know that in Kilsby when a letter can’t be delivered it is taken back to the sorting office in Rugby.  Five miles away.   So on the appointed day Dad has to set off early to retrieve the ‘gaurenteed delivery’ letter.

Carefully negotiating the 24 speed humps outside the local secondary school and being well aware of the six speed cameras waiting to trap any fast moves, Dad edges toward his goal — the sorting office.     But first there is the bus in front, stopping at every stop along the route, picking up and putting down armies of school children.   Only then do we approach the railway station.    Nine o’clock is a busy time with all the commuters trying to park their car and cross the road to catch their train.  They are not at all concerned about my urgent errand.

The final hurdle is the one way traffic-controlled tunnel under the railway,  specially designed to bring to a standstill rushing motorists.  A mere half an hour later and I am through the tunnel and at the gates of the very small car park at the sorting office.      The very small car park has twenty spaces for very small cars.    The sorting office evidently has eighteen staff  who come to work by car and take up eighteen spaces.    This leaves just two spaces for customers at the far end of the car park.    The dead-end !   Still I manage to get the last space and luckily I am able to climb out though the sun roof.

At last I am in the sorting office to reclaim my undelivered, guaranteed ‘special delivery’ letter.   Now all I have to do is prove who I am with two forms of I D and explain why I wasn’t in yesterday when they tried to deliver the letter.   “Didn’t you know it was special delivery ?”   I would have thought they would give it to me just for coming all this way and for managing to park in the car park.

At last letter in hand I return to the car park, climb back though my sun roof and am set to go.    Unfortunately I only learned how to do a three-point turn when I passed my driving test fifty years ago.   They didn’t prepare you for sorting office car parks.   Fifteen points and constant bleeper warnings later I extract my car from the car park. Now all I have to do is  go back through the tunnel passed the bus stops and over the speed bumps before the children come out of school.

Finally I return home with a guaranteed ‘special delivery’ birthday card from Number One  Son.

And one happy Mum.  🙂

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Equity Release Puzzle

This is another follow-up to my post “Equity Release Revisited” which prompted me to look into the subject again and start a new series of blogs on the subject.  I first wrote about this in 2012 and then again in 2015.  (You can find my earlier posts by clicking on Equity Release in the TAG CLOUD).

After hours of research on the internet, over a period of several weeks, I am still not much further on in trying to get some basic facts and figures about the cost of Equity Release.   I’ve ended up with a lot more questions than answers so I’ve got to keep digging.  

  • What are the interest rates that are charged and how do they vary with age and health?
  • How far can you use the loan on luxuries before the taxman determines that they will be considered “wilful disposal of their income”?
  • Do the local agents get any fee if you decide not to proceed?
  • What’s the average loan that people take out and at what interest rate?
  • If the average interest rate is 6%, surely that means that more people taking out Equity Release are the younger elderly?  Therefore the biggest risk to the loan provider.  Leading to a higher level of “compounded” interest.
  • Just how exactly is your property sold if you move into care, or die?  Surely the Equity Release company will want to control this.  If the loan plus interest exceeds the value of your home, they will want to get the highest sale price possible.   But, if their loan plus interest is lower than the value of your home, they will want a speedy sale and therefore may not seek the highest value to the detriment of the legacy you might leave.

The fact that Equity Release loan companies are so reluctant to be transparent about these critical questions, doesn’t lead you to believe that their products are good value.  It’s also a concern that to get any further information you have to share a lot of personal financial and health information with a “Financial Advisor” who you have never met before.  This is a crass way of doing business with older people!

I’ve no doubt I’ll be writing about this subject again in the years ahead.  Hopefully not after yet another crisis has emerged about Equity Release.

Posted in ELDERLY MARKET, Grey Products | Tagged | 2 Comments