GrumbleSmiles

For the past six months and probably for at least six more our heads have been full of Coronapop.   All forms of media have had their attention grabbed by the virus worldwide.    The world has been on hold,     We have been digging ourselves into a deeper and deeper financial hole.
Many people think we will go back to “normal” when it’s all over.    Somehow we will pay all the debts off.    Recovery will just happen automatically.    Growth will return and we will carry on as before, as if nothing had happened.

I don’t think it will be that simple.   Power has shifted from West to East.   America is in turmoil in the run up to the Presidential election and regardless of who wins,  they are up to their neck in debt with their equity market massively over valued.   A crash will be coming sooner or later.     They have fires raging, are still gas guzzling and yet Trump is still in climate change denial.
China is already flexing its muscles in Hong Kong.   It will soon start pulling financial levers in other areas .   It has begun to squeeze Australia.    In a weakened world, who is next?

Coronapop is a temporary distraction which has  made the future economic outlook worse for all but the very rich.    Both individuals and countries.

The UK is in reality, a small player on the world scene even though we went into this Coronapop crisis as the worlds fifth largest economy.    We have been living on past glories for far too long and now we will be much weakened by our indebted economy.

There are lessons in the Coronapop experience,  which if we are prepared to face up to them and challenge some of our out-dated habits, could point to a  bright new future.    The key question is :- “ Are we prepared to face up to the new way and do we have the leaders to guide us forward .”

The Last Laugh Looney Party highlighted some of the issues in it’s tong in cheek review of current Government expenditure and of the bloated structure of Government, including the Civil Service.      Nothing short of a fresh start on both fronts will enable us to rise from the Coronapop ashes.

So my next series of posts will chart a potential route to a better future 🤡🌈

This is a follow up to the last post

Bodj has got himself fixated on SIX, but being a classical scholar the Last Laugh Looney Party recommends he remembers his Roman Empire history and changes the focus to TEN.
Then taking advantage of the fact that temporarily he has no quarrelsome MP’s nor pesky Lords, he should use the opportunity to do what has long been talked about and reduce the numbers in the House of Commons and the House of Lords 🤡

Bodj needs to learn from the mistakes of the last seven months of the Coronapop era.      His Government has been slow to respond at every step.   There have been too many advisors and too many dissenting voices.     The whole process has been too centralised, but at the same time the Regional Governments have just confused the messages by adding their own spin to make themselves look more self-important.

BODJ SHOULD SET THE STRATEGY, THEN  DEVOLVE THE TACTICS AND ACTION  TO COUNTIES AND METROPOLITAN UNIARY AUTHORITIES, WITH MORE DELEGATED POWERS TO GET ON WITH IT.

So here are the Last Laugh Looney Party recommendations :-

BODJ’S FIRST STEPS :-

• Reduce Local Government structure to a total 100 county and metropolitan unitary authorities.     This means scrapping district councils and amalgamating smaller counties so they have on average around 600,000 populations each.  England currently has 48 counties and 533 MP’s representing them.   Scotland has 33 counties, 59 MP’s for a population of 5.45 million people.    Wales has 13 counties, 40 MP’s and 3.1 population.   Northern Ireland has 6 counties, 18 MP’s for 1.8 million people.
  This would strip out a mass of Local Government management staff, although the front line workers would still be required.
• Each of the new Unitary Authorities would be represented in Parliament by 1 MP in a slimmed down House of Commons and 1 Senator in an elected House of Lords.     Existing MP’s and Lords would be banned from standing in the new election, in fact any election ever again, because of their bad track record and the not-forgotten expenses scandal.    ( Bodj has decided he will be the one exception and he will stay on until there is a very very big statue of himself erected in front of Parliament to mark his great reforming leadership.)
• Before they could stand for election all candidates must have had a real job for at least three years.    Being a lawyer disqualifies you from ever standing.    MP ‘s and Senators can serve a maximum of two terms in office and any blot on their character during their term of office, means deportation to the Isle of Mull with no appeal.      Colonel Tom and Marcus Rashford would be given a free transfer into the Senate for outstanding service during Coronapop.
• The national Governments of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland would be given no powers and no money so they would soon wither on the vine.  Which will conveniently resolve the Independence argument🤡

Reduce the Cabinet to TEN Ministers.   The clue was on the front door all along !

• prime minister & chair
• money.
• people.
• health
• education
• housing & environment
• foreign affairs
• defence
• climate
• technology

NOW WE CAN HAVE A GENERAL ELECTION.    Once Coronapop is over, which the scientists and modlers say should be by 2026 🤡🌈

Brexit looms and Coronapop is still at large, so the Last Laugh Looney Party has advised Prime Minister Bodj to call a General Election.    It is time tor a fresh start.       This is particularly urgent because in my last post he sacked all the MP’s and the Lords  🤡

However, organising a General Election won’t be easy at the moment, when R is soaring upwards.       Unfortunately, because of the new Coronapop rules Bodj has just introduced, there won’t be any political meetings larger than SIX.   Nor any shouting or loud cheering.     Nor any hand shaking or holding babies.
Another problem would be the length of the socially distanced voting queues, given the 2 metre rule.      Oh! and the time you would need for hand washing and disinfecting the pencils.    Not to forget the testing, tracking and tracing all the voters.    Of course if after a few days, when the test results came back, anyone standing in the ten mile long queues turns out to be positive, they wold have to go and self-isolate for fourteen days.     Unless it was a false positive or even a false negative.     In which case the Marshals would take them away for questioning about how many people they had met in the last three days.

We mustn’t forget all the elderly Bodj  voters who he has told to “ Stay at home ! ”.    Many of them have been isolating since forever.       Maybe Ocado, Waitrose, Sainsbury’s and all the other delivery drivers could collect their postal votes the next time they drop off their Bodj emergency food parcels.

Then finally, there are the regional variations, which are necessary to make the Nations that make up the UK feel different and their politicians feel very very important.    In Wales they want to vote with a red pencil and put a tick rather than a cross on the voting paper.      In Scotland they want to vote two, three or four times until they all agree they want to be independent.    In Northern Ireland they want to fight first about what they are voting about.

Having thought about it, Bodj decided to change his mind and that maybe this is not a good time for a General Election after all.

So he has asked the Last Laugh Looney Party for another idea next time, when his Coronapop head is less muddled up.

                               THAT IS THE NEXT POST.