Pangolin Wrangling

Pangolin wrangling is not with cattle,

that would be too much of a battle.

Pangolins prefer to wrangle with ants,

rather than have them in your pants.

 

They round them up

with their flapping tail

and huddle them into a wooden pail.

 

Sometimes Pangolins can spend all day,

chasing the ants that get away.

They see it as a matter of pride,

to find the ants wherever they hide.

 

Then they can eat them

at their leisure,

which gives them hours and hours of pleasure.

 

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LLLP FAIRY LAND

Christmas is rapidly approaching and our politicians have sent out all their cards — although they call them manifestos.   They are full of New Year resolutions which they will drop after a week or so.   They have also promised loads of presents for everyone, which will turn out to be empty boxes when you unwrap them.   I hasten to add that all these presents are being bought with our own money.

So just before you vote, consider these promises by the Last Laugh Looney Party if we are elected we promise :-

  • Everyone will benefit from a new national minimum wage of £100,000 a year.
  • We will introduce a one day working week —- one day.
  • We will train 1 million new doctors, 1 million new nurses and a billion new hospital administrators, so that just about everyone can work in the NHS.
  • We will build a zillion new homes, although none of them will be in your back yard.
  • We welcome climate change so we can have sunny days every day, except in Scotland where it will rain until they vote out the SNP.

All this will happen if you believe in Santa Claus🤡

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LLLP BUMPS

Sooner or later the the election party will be over.    Being showered with pre-Christmas presents will end in tears, whoever gets  into power.   Because the reality is none of them have the big ideas, the power or the consensus amongst themselves to change things for the better.    SPEND, SPEND, SPEND is the only the answer for a clueless bunch of MP’s.

It is our hard earned money they are using !   Better that we spend it ourselves to solve the problems as they affect us.     Not selfishly, but with regard to our immediate and future needs, and those of our neighbours and friends.

BUMP number 1 –  CLIMATE CHANGE.

The LLLP recommend that you – Move to high ground, reduce energy consumption as much as possible.  Wrap up warm in winter.   Tie everything down, the winds of climate change are coming.

Meanwhile the LLLP will send all MP’s during their summer recess to the seaside to sit at high tide and let us know if sea levels are rising 🤡

BUMP number 2 – GROWING NUMBERS OF OLDER PEOPLE.

The LLLP recommend that you – Accept that the NHS will not be there for you except in the case of dire emergency.   Exercise and eat well to stay healthy.   Liquidate assets to pay for future care needs and don’t assume the State will look after you, because it won’t, unless your destitute.   Downsize if you can.

Meanwhile the LLLP will send all MP’s for one week every month to do work experience in residential care homes, until they agree on a consensus solution to social care 🤡

BUMP number 3 – ESCALATING CRIME.

The LLLP recommend that you – Be alert to scams.  They are frequently aimed at older people.   The unwanted phone calls,  the stranger at your door, even the small print in too good to be true offers from “trusted” companies.   Stick to people and places you know.

Meanwhile the LLLP will require all MP’s to do home visits to everyone of their constituents who has been scammed and tell them what they are going to do about it …. and personally compensate them from their MP’s salary 🤡

 

THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF WORLD MOST PEOPLE WISH TO LIVE IN, BUT, IT WILL BECOME MORE AND MORE LIKE THIS UNLESS WE TAKE CONTROL OF OUR OWN LIVES RATHER THAN RELYING ON POLITICIANS TO RESOLVE OUR PROBLEMS.

SO WHY IS THIS A BLOG ABOUT BUMPS ????

BLOODY USELESS MP’S.  

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A Year of Confusion ?

We have dug a big hole for ourselves.

We might have been going in the wrong direction with Europe.

But now we have swapped it for no direction at all.

 

Our politicians have all been found out.

Their answer is to spend more money.

When we need to spend less.

 

Climate change we can’t control.

Values we don’t live up to.

Laws broken with no redress

 

WHAT A MESS !

 

The good news is most of us are living well.

It’s the news that creates the living hell.

So turn off the tele, stop the papers.

Unplug your phone, disable your computer.

 

NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE 😀

 

Say hello to someone new.

Find something new to do.

But if you live like a hermit,

you probably need a permit.

 

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LLLP Umun Rites.

The Last Laugh Looney Party 🥳 will defend everyone’s rites, especially the rite to be STUPID.    They are pleased to see that all the other parties are learning from them  and doing stupid things too.

Here is a few fings  what we want :-

  • The rite to paint on walls everywhere, just like Banksy.
  • The rite to have what you want, when you want it.
  • the rite to be on TV in Gogglebox and other intelligent programs.
  • Why shouldn’t you go on University Challenge just because you haven’t been to University ?
  • the rite to global warming, it will save a lot on energy bills.
  • the rite to go to demonstrations and shout slogans just like MP’s.
  • The rite to buy people’s votes for the LLLP with there own 💰
  • there must be lots more rites that we want, but we can’t think what they are rite now.
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STONE THOUGHTS.

I could become a writer,

a wordsmith fighter.

Or a puffed-up politician,

with views blowing with the wind.

 

Throw a pebble in a pond

and watch the waves goodbye.

Or greet the Daily news,

with just another sigh.

 

I ought to be an asteroid,

powerfully coming from afar.

An idea shaped in heaven

landing like a star.

 

A new elderly superhero

“ASTROMAN”

 

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LLLP – Emperor Bodj

Not satisfied with just becoming King and Queen of America and All Europe, King Bodj now turned his attention eastwards.     In Bodj’s muddled historical mind, he reveered the images of Hannibal challenging the Roman Empire, because he liked the idea of charging forth on a herd of elephants, which he thought would fit his new image.    This had little to do with expanding his empire and he vaguely remembered that Hannibal was defeated in the end.     So he thought he would rather be Genghis Khan and add the Mongol Empire to his collection.     Or maybe it was Marco Polo that he wished to emulate and travel the Silk Road to China.   Bodj often found himself in two minds 🤡

Whichever way he went, King Bodj saw new territories to be conquered and he very much liked the idea of Bodjland becoming a new Global Empire linking America, Europe and China into the New Bodj Empire.

HAIL EMPEROR BODJ AND EMPRESS IVANKA

P.S.    Of course, this may all come crashing down, if Bodj fails to win the UK General Election on 12th December, or even if he just loses his seat as an MP for the Constituency of Hayes and Harlington.

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