There was a time when tulips made the economy boom. Sadly it’s not so simple these days. Now they just bloom not boom.
Just a glimpse of showy colour.
Or a flash of white.
Or maybe both.
Or the rarest black.
Each one bringing a smile, but not the financial riches of the past.
At the same time a free display of natural beauty from the bluebells
President Tramp has been digging himself into a big pothole in the Middle East. It’s the pothole to beat all potholes. Probably the biggest pothole in the world.
Now he has asked the Last Laugh Looney Party to come up with a big bold beautiful rescue plan.
The first step is to reopen the Straights of Horsesmoose. The LLLP propose that President Tramp does a “Moses”. Waves his hands and parts the sea across the Straight. That creates a path for all his ground troops to walk into Iran with victory flags and complimentary boxes of chocolates and a victory banner saying :-
🤡. “No need to fight, America is always right”🤡
The second and most beautiful step is for President Tramp to declare himself the new Ayatollah. Something which he is sure will be welcomed by the whole of the Iranian population.
All he wants for this is two Nobel Peace Prizes and just 10% of Irans oil revenues.
Finally, with a wave of his other hand the seas in the Straights of Tramp (its new name) close back again and the oil starts to flow once more. The US stock market soars and President Ayatollah Tramp wins the Mid-term USA elections by a landslide.
He is well on the way to being re-elected for a record third term, thanks to the advice of the Last Laugh Looney Party Looney Party.
President Tramp has got himself and everyone else in a bit of hot water in the Straight’s of Horsemoose. Apparently the mullahs in Iran didn’t like him dropping bombs on them and sinking their navy. Oh and assassinating half of them.
President Tramp thought they would raise a white flag and welcome him as a peace maker. Instead they thought it was November 5th and fired rockets back at everyone and turned of their oil and gas supplies. Now we are all talking about rationing petrol and hoping for a warm summer.
Prime Minister Stammer is lost for words. His frequent U-turns are leading us up a path to nowhere and further infuriating the Tramp.
As a last resort the Last Laugh Looney Party has been asked to help heal the “ special relationship”.
The mullahs and President Tramp and the LLLP should be a good combination. It’s just a matter of time before they come up with something.
🤡ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED IN MY NEXT POST.🤡
The March winds have blown away
all my good intentions for today.
I was going to dig over the garden,
and mulch the boarders with compost.
But it’s cold hard work,
easy to shirk.
The perennials will have to wait,
While I rest on the garden gate.
Enough to cheer your heart.
An immigrant from China
In an English country garden,
Must have come over on a boat.
Something of a star
among the daffodils and primroses.
All the rage in my student day 60’s.
No more war.
Just peace and love.
“Let’s all go to San Francisco.
With flowers in your hair.”
Wars are back again,
And not much peace and love.
I’ve still got lots of flowers ,
but, no hair to put them in 😀
It is a blustery, breezy day and if “The ides of March” means anything, it is a portent of doom and gloom to come. Certainly it was for Julius Caesar, when he was stabbed to death on the 15 th of March.
Goodness knows there is more than enough doom and gloom around us already. The problems don’t get resolved, they just pile on top of each other.
The never-ending war in Ukraine.
The killing in Israel leading to the devastation in Gaza.
Now the conflict between the USA, Israel, Iran and the gulf States.
More locally the political bickering.
About immigration, economy, NHS, defence spending.
Bin-strikes, potholes, student loans, education, welfare benefits.
IT SEEMS LIKE WE CANT AGREE ON ANYTHING !
Just keep looking at the flowers and know it will all blow over soon.
The fist signs of spring in the garden can always lift the gloom of winter.
Reminders of days long ago when my mum and dad stopped off in what seemed like a long trip to Gloucester to pick daffodils in a farmers field on a monthly journey to see my grandparents.
They all speak for themselves, a silent fanfare to herald warmer days to come.
THE QUIET INNOCENCE OF FLOWERS
There’s no point in denying it climate change is on the way. The ever so right Ed Elasticband has told us so.
Now that all the pensioners have been sent into retirement in Spain, they will no longer need the Winter Fuel Allowance. That will save a few bob.
The whole country can bask in the sunshine and Britain can become a tourist destination to rival the Caribbean.
Welcome to the Costa Fortune.
It will be too hot to even work from home and AI will probably be doing all the work anyway.
Hiring out deck chairs and selling ice creams are the start-up businesses to get into. Who wants to work in a dirty old hot steel works when the temperature outside reaches 50 degrees.
Not so much drill baby drill as “chill baby chill”. Join a reggae band. “Camp out on the sand and set your soul free.”
🌴🌴IT’S TIME FOR BUCKETS AND SPADES IN THE SAND 🌴🌴
Nobody has got on top of the NHS waiting list problem. It’s been growing ever longer, currently 7 million and counting. Filling the corridors of hospitals throughout the land.
But here’s a Looney idea to solve the problem overnight. Not based on modern management techniques, but harking back to the Model T Ford production line.
All thanks to the excellent Health Minister Wes Treating who first brought us CORRIDOR CARE. What if we turn all hospital corridors into one continuous rolling production line.
As soon as you enter the hospital your treatment starts and you are, of course, taken off the waiting list. Miraculously, waiting lists disappear 🤡 overnight.
Starting at A&E you enter the hospital and slowly move through all departments of the hospital, being tested and treated as you pass by. You travel through X-ray machines; MRI tubes and CT scanners. Blood tests; eye tests; hearing tests; hearing tests; urine tests; angiograms, cardiograms and all the ectomy’s and rectomy’s. Pills will be dispensed by robot nurses at each turn of the corridor.
A pill for all ills.
This state of the art Looney Health Care is expected to revolutionise the NHS. Since you are being treated for everything, there can’t possibly be anything wrong with you when you are finally discharged.
🤡AND YOU WILL CERTAINLY NOT WANT TO GO INTO HOSPITAL EVER AGAIN🤡
GrumbleSmiles 