I could become a writer,
a wordsmith fighter.
Or a puffed-up politician,
with views blowing with the wind.
Throw a pebble in a pond
and watch the waves goodbye.
Or greet the Daily news,
with just another sigh.
I ought to be an asteroid,
powerfully coming from afar.
An idea shaped in heaven
landing like a star.
A new elderly superhero
“ASTROMAN”
Not satisfied with just becoming King and Queen of America and All Europe, King Bodj now turned his attention eastwards. In Bodj’s muddled historical mind, he reveered the images of Hannibal challenging the Roman Empire, because he liked the idea of charging forth on a herd of elephants, which he thought would fit his new image. This had little to do with expanding his empire and he vaguely remembered that Hannibal was defeated in the end. So he thought he would rather be Genghis Khan and add the Mongol Empire to his collection. Or maybe it was Marco Polo that he wished to emulate and travel the Silk Road to China. Bodj often found himself in two minds 🤡
Whichever way he went, King Bodj saw new territories to be conquered and he very much liked the idea of Bodjland becoming a new Global Empire linking America, Europe and China into the New Bodj Empire.
HAIL EMPEROR BODJ AND EMPRESS IVANKA
P.S. Of course, this may all come crashing down, if Bodj fails to win the UK General Election on 12th December, or even if he just loses his seat as an MP for the Constituency of Hayes and Harlington.
Litotes popped into my waking head today.
I knew I knew the word,
But, I had no idea what it means.
A figure of speech long forgotten.
So I Googled it as you do,
for a clue.
To a quiz I had accidentally entered.
Google told me,
it means “simple” in Greek.
But it’s still Greek to me.
The Oxford English Dictionary explained:-
it’s a double negative
which is really a positive.
So that’s it then !
Clear as a bell !
We are now in the fantasy land that surrounded Bodj in the period between him triumphantly securing a deal with the European Union, and then coming back to Earth with a bump when he got back to the UK Parliament. We have temporarily ended up in a parallel universe where Bodj can imagine a whole new world for himself.
It didn’t take long running the European Super Power before Super President Bodj got bored. He had already vanquished all the other European Presidents to be Country Caretakers looking after all the toilets and manhole covers in Europe. What more could he do ?
Then one day he woke up with a thought. Another great Bodj idea 🤡
What about becoming KING ! He had never been a king before. It could be fun? All that dressing up …. and uniforms …. and medals …..and State Banquets …… and horse drawn carriages ….. and parades …. and palaces … and his very own flag.
Super President Bodj always believed in the monarchy, especially now he was to be KING.
Being a student of history Bodj decided to model himself on Henry VIII. This was because he liked the idea of having several wives, although he didn’t plan to behead any of them, so he may have to become a Mormon. This arrangement had the advantage of meaning he didn’t have to cover up his many affairs in future.
Once Bodj became King of All Europe, President Tramp thought it would be a good time for a State Visit, so that he could do a trade deal with Europe. He brought with him his beautiful daughter Ivanka. Ivanka quite liked the idea of becoming the first Queen of All Europe and readily accepted King Bodj’s proposal of marriage. She hastily explained that it was “fake news” that she was already married.
The trade deal was struck. Europe would import all the chlorinated chicken that the USA could produce and in exchange America proposed that Bodj and Ivanka become King and Queen of America and All Europe, which henceforth would be called “Bigger Bodjland”, because everything in America is bigger.
President Tramp was delighted with the best deal ever in the whole world and said that he would open Tramp golf courses in all the capital city parks and build Tramp Towers in the most prominent city locations. Starting with one in London where the Houses of Parliament used to be, one in Rome where the old run-down Colosseum is sited and then one to replace the Eiffel Tower, which wasn’t required now they had one in Las Vegas.
THE FANTASY DOESN’T END THERE, THERE WILL BE MORE
The roll out of the Smart Meter programme for electricty supply has been badly handled from the start. It was always too ambitious and was launched with little explanation of what is was all about. It was clearly of benefit to the electricity companies, but there was no obvious benefit to the consumer, just vague hints that you could save yourself money by being more aware of your energy usage. At a time when energy costs were rising this should have been a great selling point. So why wasn’t it?
Everyone was talking about “switching” to save money with a new supplier, but the big energy companies didn’t want you to do that, So they made Smart Meters that didn’t allow for switching. The result was that people didn’t opt to have Smart Meters. What a surprise!
So the Government’s flagship new initiative on energy conservation had to be extended to 2020. Meanwhile the big energy companies began writing more threatening letters telling customers they had to have meters fitted because it was irresponsible to waste energy.
At the same time there were more and more adverts on the tele encouraging you to “switch” to save money. But the Catch 22 was that with a new Smart Meter that is the one thing you can’t do !
So most people didn’t switch and the programme fell further behind.
In increasing desperation the Government tried another idea. Tell everybody that Smart Meters are actually a Health & Safety initiative. You/they will be able to monitor someone with dementia with a Smart Meter. (See my blog on “Smart Meters” by clicking in the Archive for 17 March 2019)
That didn’t work either so the deadline for switching had to be extended yet again. Less than half the UK households have switched to date and the costs of switching have risen from £2.5 billion to £13.5 billion. These costs will of course eventually fall on the consumer. The extended, extended target for completion is now 2024 ….. or maybe forever.
Now the Government switches to threats, firstly to the energy companies who will be fined if the programme slips behind. Secondly, the irresponsible energy guzzleing public will have to pay higher prices if they don’t have a Smart Meter.
So it’s gone now from saving us money, to costing us money.
Perhaps we should all go back to generating our own electricity ?
SHOCKING NEWS.
.
We are now three days past the day which Bodj said was his “Die in a Ditch “ deadline day. In fact, it didn’t turn out to be a Deadline Day. The European Parliament generously decided to grant us yet another extension so that we can enjoy the pleasures of being in the European Union for even longer.
The Europeans evidently have short memories, so perhaps we have to remind them that almost 75 years ago on D-Day we had to begin the liberation of their sovereign countries from German occupation ! Which is no more than we are trying to do for ourselves with Brexit. Oh and of course we also had to do the same thing 100 years ago during the First World War !
The hard fact is the the Germans are good at what they do, Dominating people. This time round, rather than using Tiger tanks and Doodle Bugs, they did it with the Deutsche Mark, which they cunningly renamed “the Euro”. So their latest attempt to conquer Europe has been more subtle and so far more successful. At least for the Germans. The huge number of unemployed people in Spain, Italy and Greece might not agree.
The problem with the Europe they have created, is that it is not a level playing field. Not everyone is as industrious as the Germans and therefore the wealth is not earned or consequently shared evenly. Disharmony is built into the system and the Germans have harsh ways of dealing with Disorder.
Britain’s last big exit from Europe was at Dunkirk. Our latest attempt at leaving seems almost as difficult. This time the Europeans seem reluctant to let us go.
Rather than going to war again, we now seem to have become a nation of Demonstrators. There are daily Demonstrations outside Parliament of both leavers and remainers. Whilst inside Parliament, there are endless Defeats on almost every proposition to leave.
The Last Laugh Looney Party has an alternative idea to solve the problem. We will send an army of volunteers over to Europe to put towels on all the Deck Chairs everywhere throughout Europe. This will really show that we mean business and should make the Germans so fed up with us, that they will eventually let us leave 🙂
While all our politicians have been away on holiday in sunny Spain, the Last Laugh Looney Party “Daft Ideas” have gone down a storm through October. You can clearly see the influence of the younger voters, which is magnified by their superior ability to use mobile phones 😀 for voting in referendums.
The free ice cream policy has been a great success and the Happy Hat Days have lifted the country’s mood. People are smiling at each other again. The next fun referendum questions are :-
Come to that, why shouldn’t parents go to school instead of children, after all , they are the ones who can’t use computers and mobile phones and Facebook and Twitter and instagram and all sorts of gadgets that they keep asking us about?
WE NEED MORE CHILDREN IN THE LAST LAUGH LOONEY PARTY. OUR MP’S ARE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN, SO WHY NOT HAVE REAL CHILDREN IN PARLIAMENT 🤡
