New New World.

We will all have to adjust to Coronapop being with us for years to come.

Yes we may get a vaccine in a years time,

but by then we will be bankrupt as a country.

Along with many others, who have been living beyond their means.

 

As a Nation we need to be more self-sufficient.

Grow our own food again.

Live within our own energy bubble.

Re-think everything.

 

Embrace technology,

but make it user-friendly for all.

The old need to learn from the young.

But so do the young need to value the wisdom of age.

Nothing is free, you have to work hard for everything worth while.

And then take time to appreciate it.

 

 

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Coronapop Ego

One day there will have to be an analysis of this Coronapop era.   Not a five year long public enquiry, which is a shelf to hide things away.   More a quiet contemplation, with a few guideposts for people to consider and hopefully act upon.

Two things mark the way  already:-    EGO  has played a large part in navigating through the uncharted seas of Coronapop.    Preening politicians are full of it, they didn’t get to be an MP without it.   Make them a Cabinet Minister and put them on the tele and they get a double dose.    The excess of ego  is matched by a marked lack of HUMILITY.    Indeed these are two sides of the same coin and equally blinding.

The two attributes can be a toxic combination, rather like Coronapop itself.   Navigating in the dark is difficult by definition, but it can be helped by the more distant view of a satellite scanning other horizons.   In other worlds you would call this benchmarking.    But ego resists that, ego prefers to find its own way.

All this has been acted out in the media frenzy of headline-hungry journalists and the furious friend-gathering twitterarty.   None of which leads to cool heads or quiet reflection.

Into this cocktail you then have to add a mixture of science and speculation.   Equally brimming full of professorship egos, with a host of certainty and uncertainty.    Academic careers to be crowned or crushed.    Seldom tempered by the peer review of common sense.

On reflection there might have been another way.   We didn’t need to wait for the Government to tell us what to do.    Without the EGO of us all believing we are different and with the humility to accept simplicity, we could have saved lives ourselves.

Washing hands is free.

  Social distancing is easy.

Masks are not a great imposition.

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I T C H

Back in the olden days of my memory, communication was simple.     You spoke to people face to face, or  from a greater distance you telephoned or wrote to people.  In my childhood I rarely spoke on the telephone.   I don’t remember my grandparents even having one.   My parents didn’t have a phone at home until I was in my teens.      I only ever spoke to my school friends face to face.     In my university days in the 1960’s I rang home from a. telephone box.     When I travelled abroad I occasionally sent post cards home.

When I started work in my 20’s, it was the first time I regularly started to use a phone, but letters were still the main form of business communication.

That’s all ancient history now.   A lifetime away, beyond the comprehension of the current generation, just as much as today’s world of instant communication frequently bewilders me.

As quickly as I learn one way of doing things, it is replaced by something newer still.     In fact nothing stays still for long!     Emails are the letters of one generation.   Texting are the words of another.     Mobile phones are the new office desk.    Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Messenger, Skype, Facebook, FaceTime and Zoom are the meeting places in the clouds,

                INSTANT   TECHNOLOGY   CREATES   HAVOC

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Coronapop Spend

Here’s Bodj’s new message in the next episode of CORONAPOP STREET:-

“You have all done a great job during my lockdown.  It must have been extremely difficult for those of you who were working to have to stay at home.     I know how hard it was for Dominic.   Still I hope the dosh that Chancellor Rushi Havesomemoney doled out made up for the terrible sacrifice of having to stay in during the sunny weather.

I know many of my cabinet Ministers have been tirelessly working on your behalf, travelling around in this hot summer, in their/your chauffeur driven, air-conditioned, luxury cars.    Zooming from TV studio to photo opportunity.    It has been especially hard having to learn all those stock phrases :- STAY SAFE,    STAY IN ,    STAY STILL,   PROTECT THE NHS,   PROTECT YOURSELVES,    PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT,   SAVE THE WHALES,   LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.

Now it is almost all over and Rushi is running out of money, we have a whole brand new, world beating strategy.   We want you to forget all about Coronapop, at least for a while,  and   STAY OUT,   STAY CLOSE,    STAYCATION,   PROTECT YOURSELF WITH SUNCREAM,    PROTECT STATUES, …….. OH!   and     WASH YOUR HANDS.”

Here’s the new message for today :

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Coronapop Street

The new soap opera starts today” CORONAPOP STREET “.    This follows on from Prime Minister Bodj’s first wise decision, which is to cancel his daily TV broadcasts.   They just got him into trouble all the time and none of his Ministers could answer any questions with a straight face.

The LAST LAUGH LOONEY PARTY  will write the script and pull all the strings behind the scenes.    This immediately means Dominic Cummings will become a knight and if the Queen doesn’t cut his head off when she appoints him, he will become Sir Dominic Goings. 🤡

The rest of the Cabinet will be quarantined for fourteen days, while the LLLP decides what to do with them.     While they are locked away, they will receive statutory sick pay and free food parcels.    Unfortunately it may take the civil service a while to organise the payments and food deliveries 🤡    Oh! and we may not be able to track and trace them ever again 🤡     But we are working on it tirelessly, honest 🤡

There are two other quick decisions Bodj can make during this first episode.   Firstly to sack Gav “the child” Williamson, for his short distinguished service as Education Secretary, he has been sent back to primary school to grow up.
The second disappointment  will be to get rid of Theresa Coffey, who was Minister of something she couldn’t remember.   But also for having a name like Coffey during a pandemic.

SIR CAPTAIN TOM will be the first appointment to the new cabinet.   He will be Minister for Sport and be in charge of getting the nation fit again 🤡🏃🏽‍♂️

Secondly MARKUS RASHFORD will be asked to join on a free transfer, because there will be no more silly football behind closed doors for a while  🤡⚽️

There will be more appointments and disappointments in the next episode🤡

 

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Coronapop Soap Opera

There is a new Must-watch soap opera on the  box every day.     It has wiped all its competitors off the screen by requiring them to social distance and isolate all actors over 70.

So now we have a fresh group of characters who could be scooping up all the British TV awards this year.    The initial problem is that they were largely unknown to the general public, before Coronapop came along and threw them into the limelight.     Previous appearances were limited to the BBC parliamentary channel, which only extremely bored people watch on rainy days.

Obviously everyone knows the main star – Bodj – from his celebrated performance hanging off a zip line at the Olympics several years ago.    He only had small parts after that as Foreign Secretary in Mrs MaybeMaybenot’s Cabinet.

Now as Prime Minister Bodj, he is still playing the role of court jester, as he announces a new strategy every day in the fight against CORONAPOP.

The supporting characters are less well known.    Here are some of the emerging “stars”:-

  •  Health Minister – Doormatt Handwash – who only has one pink tie, praises everyone endlessly,  feels grief for everyone who has passed away and everyone of their relatives and always looks like a rabbit in the headlights.
  • Money man – Richie Havesomemoney – who just loves to give away £billions and make people happy.
  • Slippery Micky Grave —- Right about all the things he is not responsible for and solidly behind his colleagues, until he is not.
  • Dominic Draab —- who finds no difficulty living up to his name.
  • Pretty Hopeless —- assertively, angry about everything, but important —self-important.
  • Happysnaps. Transport Minister —- who just seems happy to be here now that all the transport has been stopped in its tracks.
  • Gav “the child” who talks like a preacher at a temperance meeting and will grow up when he leaves school.
  • Whitty twins — two conjoined grey suited grey people who are expert at saying nothing and making it look intelligent.
  • Jenny “um” — who is a nurse or a scientist or both, but who displays her uncertainty by prefacing every thought with an “um””)
  • The cameo extras — these are anonymous cardboard cut-out experts, who are rolled in occasionally to divert attention to their specialist subjects — policing, health & safety, testing or not testing.  They rarely speak and nobody asks them questions.
  • Dom the puppet master — the backstage director, who never knows if he is cummings or going.

It is a low budget production with just three props —- three lecterns for the daily sermon, which are  bulletproof and reflect questions automatically,   with advertising slogans for the would-be shogans..

Audience participation is provided by a gaggle of irritable journalists,  whose every question is tinged with vitriol hoping for tomorrow’s headline.   They zoom in and out, with the on /off button controlled by the politician of the day.   Sometimes if they ask an especially hard question, they are never seen again🤡

The 5 o’clock time slot used to be called children’s hour, which is probably why they talk to us like children.

SEE NEXT WEEKS THRILLING EPISODE, WHEN CORONAPOP RIDES AGAIN!

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Happier Corona Pop Times

In the heady happy times of early retirement way back in 2010, I blogged about a fond childhood memory of Corona Pop.     Little did I know how that name would come to be remembered in future years with much more sinister   connotations.       Dashing the childhood recollections of older people everywhere.    (You can see my earlier blog by clicking on the Archive for November 2010)

Was it a strange premonition or an unhappy coincidence ?

The pandemic has certainly demolished a cherished brand name.     If you Google corona now you get Corona virus, Corona cases, Corona deaths, Corona lockdown and Corona vaccine.   Whatever happened to cherryade, lemonade, orangeade, limeade and best of all dandelion and burdock ?

In my childhood days growing up in South Wales, every child looked forward to the sound of the rattle of bottles on the pop lorry each week.     Reward for good behaviour  and doing your homework.      You even got to keep thrupence on the return of every empty bottle.

Back in the 1930’s they sold 170 million bottles a year.     The Corona  Company was started in a little town at the bottom of the Rhondda Valley  by Mr. Evans and Mr. Thomas.    Originally delivered door to door on horse drawn carts then later on lorries with a uniformed man with a peaked cap.

The children of tomorrow may never know the innocent joys of all those bubbly flavours.

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Rugby Shields 🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉

Following on from my series of blogs on Rugby in the era of Coronapop, it is now obvious that this season is over.     So I have been thinking about how we can start the next season without the silly rules that have been dreamt up by the RFU “old farts”.

We have been through the SOCIAL ISOLATION stage when all the players stayed at home and were paid for doing nothing.     That must have been extremely difficult for them.       Now they are in the SOCIAL DISTANCING phase where they can start training for the re-opening of the game.    Passing the ball might be a problem with all those germs, but they should be OK if they wear gloves.

The critical problem is starting a contact sport without having any contact.    Up until now the “old farts”  have not been able to figure this out.    Prime Minister Bodj, sparked an idea for a great strategy for rugby using his classical education.     It is based on SHIELDING as deployed by the Romans.

The players will have PPE similar to that worn by gladiators.    Helmets, Brest plates, shoulder pads and …… sandals?    Sadly, or gladly, there will be no weapons, even for the Saracens players.       But, in Bodj’s words, the game-changer will be the the use of shields by all the forwards.    The shields will allow  lots of pushing and shoving without any personal contact.

The referee and the linesmen will will be encased inside plastic bubbles, which might limit their movement around around the pitch.   If there is a wind, they may get blown about a bit, but that should add to the fun.   Especially if  all three officials end up down one end of the pitch and the play is at the other end🤡      The other slight problem  is that the players won’t be able to hear the whistle when the ref  is in his bubble🤡     The “old farts” are still thinking about that !

BREAKING NEWS.       Before I could finish this blog Prime Minister Bodj decided the game could restart in August.
That will mean the 9 games left in the 2019/2020 season can be completed in August and September, with the Premiership finals played in October.    The “old farts” are delighted by this news, because the 2019/2020 season will overlap with the start of the 2020/2021 season.    The extra dosh will come in very handy, although the players may have to play two, three, or four games a week for a few months, if you include the Autumn Internationals and the remaining European games.

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What the “K” ?

The Coronapop storyline is getting more and more tangled in a whirlwind of doctored communication.     Or perhaps I should say “doktored kommunikation”.

Because in my post last week  I said that the Government was moving it’s strategy to give greater konsideraction to the “K”.   Unfortunately they failed to explain what the K was all about.

The term comes from a scientific paper, so you may think the answer is elementary.  K  is the periodic table symbol for POTASSIUM.  Obviously that makes sense ?   But before you rush out to buy vitamin K, think again.    That is not the magik Kure.

I did read something about koagulating blood and klotting, but it’s not about that either.  That’s a Kell factor I think, but let’s not get konfused.

Kissing is definitely a no no, surely it can’t be that.   Although they did have rapid spread in France and they do a lot of kissing there.

It is related to the variation in infected peoples kontacts and the klusters they go to.   People with a low K are the super spreaders.

I hope that’s kleared up the konfusion about K.

P.S.  —— It is not why they are killing all the mink in Holland, that is more to do with the R.

Keep washing your hands in the sink.     Stay off the drink.    Stay alert and think.

And whatever you do, don’t get on a Publick transport double deckker without a mask.

OK

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Triple lock out

This is a continuation of the Coronapop triplelock story.      Bodj’s first lock down was supposed to last for 3 weeks and then another three weeks, with no remission for good behaviour.        Most people followed the rules  and the sombrero was squashed by about 30,000 people who died, …. or perhaps it was nearer 60,000 people …. “the scientists” couldn’t really agree on the number.
Now we had all flattened the hat, Bodj said we could all be let out on parole, providing we stuck to some new rules.     The rules were very clear providing we all STAY ALERT and don’t move from country because the rules are different in each  country because of the R.

Oh and by the way people over 70 were vulnerable so they have to stay locked in.   Maybe forever !    If you are under 60 you can gather again but only outside and not inside,    And only in groups of 6 or eight or 10.     TWO metres apart although Bodj is looking at that.
It’s good of Bodj to clear that up, because if we don’t stick to the new rules the could go up and we want it to go down.    It seems there is still some sombrero flattening to do.
If the R goes up there could be a second wave —— not to be confused with a second clap.     Clapping is good for the NHS second waves are not.    If the second wave comes Bodj might have to declare another lock in, or lockdown,  or lock  up …..or maybe all of them.

Now they are starting to stop worrying about the R, so they are letting everybody out.     But, in future we must keep an eye on the K.      Of course they forgot to mention what the K is all all about.       And if the K  gets to be too big, or maybe too small, we are all going to be locked up again.      It was bad enough when we just had to grasp the daily numbers, now we have a Coronapop alphabet to learn👿

And we haven’t yet talked about TEST, TRACK AND TRACE 🤡

and wash your🧤🧤.

And Stay Alert.    And  Protect the NHS.   And Stay Home. —— oops no, don’t stay home , that was yesterday.

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