This weekend the climate change conference, COP26, is coming to a close and Bodj will claim it is a great success. But the reality is rather different and all the empty promises by here-today, gone-tomorrow politicians are nothing more than hot air.
Bodj is gradually waking up to the reality that climate change is going to happen so he is pushing ahead with his Plan B solution of a Boris Wall, described in the previous blog.
This is already being haled as a resounding success for Home Secretary, Pretty Useless; now she has brought thousands more migrants across the channel in a armada of Boris dingy’s. French President Macaroon has given her the Legion d’Honour medal for her humanitarian work with refugees.
Meanwhile, Bodj is turning his attention to masterminding the next thirty years of his Grand Plan for Combatting Climate Change, henceforth to be called the BGPCCC. Not to be confused with Brexit or Building Back Better, or levelling up, or any other earlier slogan.
The BGPCCC will start with a Plan A, although it follows Plan B. Plan A will start with a long range weather forecast for the next 30 years.
- We will have frequent floods in the UK every year.
- The wind will sometimes not blow at all, causing power cuts, but there will also be gales, lots of gales, causing trees to block roads and depositing leaves on railway lines.
- In the summer it will be sunny, very sunny with temperatures in excess of 50 degrees, which is hot, very hot.
- Thunder and lightening will be very, very frightening. Mama Mia.
- Not forgetting the snow. Snow will fall when weather forecasters least expect it —- in the winter.
In short it is all going to be very un predictable, putting weather forecasters every where out of a job 🤡
In spite of all this Prime Minister President Bodj remains optimistic and his first rambling thoughts to be included in his BGPCCC are listed below in no particular order, because is that the way Bodj thinks :-
🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 Buy British ! No more imports, this should solve the lorry driver shortage at a stroke and improve the balance of payment crisis and stop all those arguments with Europe about regulations.
- We will all have to grow our own veg and there will be no more bananas or pineapples until the climate warms up, which won’t be long. All city parks will be turned into allotments manned by Monty Don’s.
- Because of the latest furore about MP’s moonlighting with lucrative second jobs, Bodj has decided that ALL MP’s must have second jobs, in future to show their commitment to the BGPCCC, they will work for the Boris Forestry Commission one day a week. Every Thursday MP’s must be in their constituencies planting trees in high visability jackets so that voters can see what they are upto – a bit like community service 😀 They will have to plant 1,000 trees a year until temperatures start to fall. There will be no cheating by planting little acorns — trees must native species at least 3 years old — and there must be a before and after photograph as proof of MP planting. Failure to plant trees will lead to an instant by-election.
- The new forests will all be called “Boris Woods”, to mark our great leaders contribution to saving the planet.
- Oh and one more thing …. we all have to drive Boris electric cars, with a maximum range of 30 miles. Public must be used for longer journeys.
And another thing —- Carrie, the latest first lady, says we all have to become vegetarians, because all those cows and sheep pooing are releasing too much methane into the atmosphere.
NO DOUBT THERE WILL BE MORE, IF BODJ IS TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM MELTDOWN.