The LLLP has all but disappeared.
It’s looney members are popping up everywhere else.
Promising everything at no cost, except to billionaires.
Welfare benefits on demand.
Pension triple lock, locked forever.
Free care for the disabled and elderly.
We are all going to live in Manchester 🤡
Where buses are almost free
And it hardly ever rains.
If you are working at all,
It’s from home,
One day a week.
OR ARE WE ALL AT SEA IN A SINKING SHIP ?
“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel” was a phrase used to refer to politicians trying to conceal their true motives. Never more needed than now, if you want to fleece a load of old people.
It is just a matter of time before it happens. Andy “Pants-on-fire” just needs to figure out how to rob the poor to pay the rich. A modern day Robin Hood in reverse.
Andy says he cares about Social Care. That’s where the pot of gold is ! And most old people don’t vote Labour anyway. And they are the “never had it so good” generation, so they can afford to “pay a little more”. And they are under occupying their houses.
So we just need a story about how we are going to help them.
How about if we make social care FREE. That should appeal to them. They won’t need their houses so we will sell them and use the proceeds to pay for their care🤡
AND an added bonus is they won’t need to pay inheritance tax, because they won’t have any inheritance 🤡
That’s the first question every journalist asks Andy “Pants-on-fire” every time he wants to dish out a little vote wlnner :-
“STOP GIVING ME THOSE NEGATIVE WAVES MORIARTY”
Just as Sargent Oddball often said in Kelly’s Heroes.
It can’t come from more borrowing. The barrow boys on the Bond market won’t like it.
Nor can it come from more taxes. The voters won’t like it.
Nor can we cut welfare benefits. The Labour left won’t vote for it.
Nor can we “drill baby drill” because Ed Millstone won’t like it.
We need a POT OF GOLD. Where’s the rainbow when you need it?
The answers obvious but nobody wants to be the first to mention it.
I will tell you in my next post.
Skier has gone with his tail between his legs.
Unappreciated for all the great things he has done as PM.
Maybe we will see him doing U-turns on Strictly next?
Or perhaps “I’m not a celebrity, get me out of here” ?
Next up we have Andy Pants-on-fire Burnum.
Stocking up a new cabinet of greasy pole climbers.
All promising to bring us “HOPE”.
Or is it “Dope on a rope” ?
Maybe Andy is a pangolin after all.
There is no news blackout. Just no news.
We are in a period of limbo.
Waiting, just anticipating,
Endless Speculating.
Skier is on his last lap,
Collecting medals and disingenuous claps.
England are out of the World Cup,
Gone with a whimper.
Burnum is coiled like a spring,
An unplanned entry to the ring.
Waiting for the firing gun,
Eager for his day in the sun.
We seem to be STUCK at the moment.
STUCK between Prime Ministers !
STUCK with a never-ending war in Ukraine !
STUCK in an on-off negotiation between USA and Iran !
STUCK with ever rising costs !
STUCK IN A HEATWAVE !!!!!
Andy “pants-on-fire” Burnum has gone to ground. Not a sound. He doesn’t answer questions. He is keeping low, before his coronation as our new Prime Minister.
Is he a bird ? Is he a bee? No he is a TWISTER !
Is he a drifter? Is he a shifter? Or is he a grifter?
Nobody knows quite what he thinks and if he is challenged, he curls up in a protective ball.
He could be the perfect foil to the arch-exhibitionist – President Tramp.
When Tramp says “ drill baby drill”. Our pants-on-fire PM says “I will …. in 2035 or maybe later”. When Tramp says “ come and help us open the Straights of Horsemouse”. The new leader of the coalition of the willies says “we will as soon as we can find a ship that works”. When Tramp asks for the UK to spend more on defence, pantsman says “I am sitting on de fence right now”.
I think Tramp and Burnum will get on like a house on fire🔥
Mr Stammer is soon to be an Ex Prime Minister so we will be out of the frying pan and then quickly into Andy “Pants-on-fire” Burnum.
But the good news is Andy has a few weeks to come up with all the answers to all our problems, without any more money and all the talents of the existing team of MP’s. Should be a breeze🤡
His first big idea is to use the Chagos Islands as an immigration assessment centre for all new and recently arrived immigrants. It will be just like a holiday, living in tents on the beach. Free coconuts and all the fish you can catch.
The Border Force civil servants will set up a processing office with three staff, although of course they will be ‘working from home’ in the UK.
They should be able to assess at least three a week, which means the initial cohort of 900,000 will be completed in less than 3,000 years. Of course some may not want to wait that long and they will be free to go anywhere other than the UK.
The Government and the garden are all out of kilter. Just as we pass mid-summers day, temperatures are reaching their hottest ever. Tempers are fraying and Prime Minister Stammer is frying and he has been outed unceremoniously.
Stammer has had his day, and suddenly in these hottest of times, everybody’s new friend is appropriately named – 🔥 Handy Burnum 🔥
Meanwhile the garden knows better and does the very opposite. It’s declared Winter time. Enough of all these hot flowers. Time for a cool White Out!
Summer is officially here, although you wouldn’t know it from the weather. It can’t make its mind up from one day to the next. Rain, hail, thunder and sunshine.
The good news is that the flowers don’t care, they continue to bring joy whatever the weather. Blasting through the gloom of politicians promises.
The flowers will still be here next year, the politicians may not🤡
