It’s not long ago that the Government was telling us not to stockpile things, during the Covid lockdowns. So in the years since Covid, we have dutifully have run down our stock of 450 loo rolls and 75 cans of sardines. Thank goodness we don’t every night have to have sardines on toast for tea again; although the loo rolls did come in handy as a result.

Now Mr Andy “pants-on-fire” Burnum is worried about the threats from Russia and says we all need to “Be ready” and “ do our bit”. Forget about not stockpiling and start stocking up. We all need at least three days emergency supplies. What happens after that is anybody’s guess.

So here we go:- (I think a five year old civil servant came up with this list)

• Water- lots of water, a minimum of 3 litres per person and some for Coco. It’s a shame the reservoirs are almost empty☹️
• Canned food (but no sardines) and don’t forget a can opener.
• Torch and batteries.
• A Wind up Radio – obviously the BBC will still be broadcasting from the frontlines.
• Plasters and Pills – there are bound to be a few casualties in the event of a nuclear attack.
• Cash – different denominations – some roubles might be a good idea.

This is now a key part of our defensive strategy. I am sure Mr Putin will think twice before he attacks such a well prepared nation.

One more thing on my list :-

• An Intercontinental Ballistic Missile – I am sure I can get one at Tescos.