Just in case there is a sudden snap election next spring, the Last Laugh Looney Party decided to draw up its manifesto for the next five years. Of course it will be all fully costed and fair to simply everyone.

It will draw on the mistakes and lessons learned from the previous government’s :- excessive levels of of borrowing; high levels of debt; massive levels of immigration; high, high, high energy costs; inflation on inflation; waiting lists for everything; and too many over-paid civil servants all “working from home”.

• PLEDGE Number 1 – THANK YOU HOLIDAYS – all pensioners over 65 will be offered an all expenses paid, year long holiday in Spain or on a round the world cruise. In exchange for renting out their house/flat to the Government. There will be an opportunity to extend this indefinitely if they wish🤡
• PLEDGE Number 2 – IMMIGRANT DETENTION – all 1.5 million immigrants legal and illegal awaiting their asylum claim being resolved, will temporarily be housed in Government run houses or flats. The accommodation will be supervised by 1 million civil servants released from regulating and taxing and retrained as “immigrant minders”. They let them in, so now they can look after them, while “working from someone else’s home”🤡
• PLEDGE Number 3 – NEW DOUBLE UP LOCK UP- next we come to our overcrowded prisons. The LLLP will immediately double the capacity of our prisons by introducing new style “day and night shift prisons”. The current prison population will be let out during the day on a new early release scheme, so they can get plenty of exercise. This will free up their cells for an extra intake of shoplifters and phone stealers and joy riders and drug dealers to sleep during the day and exercise during the night🤡
• PLEDGE Number 4 – ENERGY PAY BACK – the prisoners exercise programme will help them pay back their debt to society. It an old fashioned idea called a “treadmill”🤡 Generating energy from 90,000 unfit under-exercised prisoners. A sort of “ long walk to freedom”🤡

The LLLP predicts this will quickly deter more immigrants coming to Britain and dramatically reduce the level of crime🤡

🤡ALL AT NO EXTRA COST🤡

🤡ROLL ON TO NETT ZERO🤡