My last two posts have begun to give me some ideas about how to revolutionise how Government works, or more to the point doesn’t work!

I have started with the overblown and inefficient Civil Service and with the help of AI I seem to have solved the problem of striking NHS staff🐘 I have also dispensed with teachers in schools; so the Department of Education is no longer required🐘🐘

The 🐘 icon is a reminder of how you eat an elephant- one bite at a time.

So what’s next?

Let’s start with the Civil Service headcount. In 2025 there were 549,150 civil servants. The civil service has grown 33% since 2016, largely driven by Brexit and Covid.

Since Brexit and Covid are long gone the Last Laugh Looney Party would propose a simple and immediate one third reduction. Using a sophisticated HR strategy called – Enie, meanie, mineie, GO. That should cut 180,000 unproductive jobs straight away🐘🐘🐘🤡

Next the biggest is the Department of Work and Pensions with 93,800 staff- opps sorry – 62,263 until a few minutes ago. Since work is increasingly a thing of the past the LLLP would suggest shutting down half the Department straight away. Since their work was all about form filling and simple maths calculations, it can be better done using AI. Of course we have to look after our pensioners, so we definitely need all the pension related workers — at least for now🐘🐘🐘🐘🤡

Second in headcount is the Ministry of Justice with 69,655 staff, probably “working” from home. That must be why the courts are all clogged up; we are letting out criminals very early and we are not bothering to convict shoplifters, burglars, drug-takers and rapists. On the rare occasions when the police catch them. So the LLLP suggests we get rid of all of them 🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🤡. The civil servants can be replaced with greater use of facial recognition cameras; Chat GPT automatic email and social media monitoring and “INSTANT FINES FOR MINOR CRIMES”. Trials of more serious crimes can be shown on YouTube and verdicts voted on by anyone over 16. Convicting offenders could become a popular pastime.

Third in line is the HM Revenue and Customs with 69,655 staff. They all just seem to be letting more people in and collecting more and more taxes. The LLLP proposes we put them all on a boat and send them to France 🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🤡 The civil servants that is. In future all people entering the UK will be tracked and traced using the much vaunted, near infallible Covid track and trace system and then deported if they step out of line.

ENOUGH AXE WEALDING FOR TODAY. THAT HAS BLOWN AWAY OVER HALF THE CIVIL SERVICE.

MORE IN THE NEXT POST🤡