Special Delivery !

It was a special day today for someone in the Graham household.   Lots of cards through the letterbox and flowers delivered to the door, all for Mo’s birthday.    But, there was one important one missing.   The day before, the postie had dropped a note on the front door mat to say that there was a special delivery which he or she had not been able to deliver because there was no-one in to sign for it.  Evidently Number One son had wanted to be sure his card would not be late so he paid extra for ‘garenteed delivery’.   Sadly he didn’t figure that both parents might be out and about when the letter arrived.

Now you have to know that in Kilsby when a letter can’t be delivered it is taken back to the sorting office in Rugby.  Five miles away.   So on the appointed day Dad has to set off early to retrieve the ‘gaurenteed delivery’ letter.

Carefully negotiating the 24 speed humps outside the local secondary school and being well aware of the six speed cameras waiting to trap any fast moves, Dad edges toward his goal — the sorting office.     But first there is the bus in front, stopping at every stop along the route, picking up and putting down armies of school children.   Only then do we approach the railway station.    Nine o’clock is a busy time with all the commuters trying to park their car and cross the road to catch their train.  They are not at all concerned about my urgent errand.

The final hurdle is the one way traffic-controlled tunnel under the railway,  specially designed to bring to a standstill rushing motorists.  A mere half an hour later and I am through the tunnel and at the gates of the very small car park at the sorting office.      The very small car park has twenty spaces for very small cars.    The sorting office evidently has eighteen staff  who come to work by car and take up eighteen spaces.    This leaves just two spaces for customers at the far end of the car park.    The dead-end !   Still I manage to get the last space and luckily I am able to climb out though the sun roof.

At last I am in the sorting office to reclaim my undelivered, guaranteed ‘special delivery’ letter.   Now all I have to do is prove who I am with two forms of I D and explain why I wasn’t in yesterday when they tried to deliver the letter.   “Didn’t you know it was special delivery ?”   I would have thought they would give it to me just for coming all this way and for managing to park in the car park.

At last letter in hand I return to the car park, climb back though my sun roof and am set to go.    Unfortunately I only learned how to do a three-point turn when I passed my driving test fifty years ago.   They didn’t prepare you for sorting office car parks.   Fifteen points and constant bleeper warnings later I extract my car from the car park. Now all I have to do is  go back through the tunnel passed the bus stops and over the speed bumps before the children come out of school.

Finally I return home with a guaranteed ‘special delivery’ birthday card from Number One  Son.

And one happy Mum.  🙂

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3 Responses to Special Delivery !

  1. What a ‘gay day’ as everard would say? Dad has moved mountains! I would have loved to seen you climb through the sun roof in your convertible? I thought a man like you would have a MG MIdget, or a lotus elan, what with your silthe like figure, and description of your passion for MO? You know a real ”passion wagon” for all those times remembered from days gone bye?
    You have brought home to me a similar experience, but not as passionate_ I too had a failed/signed for delivery and was summonsed to pick the undelivered post at the local Royal Mail sorting office. Luck was with me I had wet the bed! so at opening time 06.30 I was there in the car park of the sorting office, with my car, and the 20 allocated parking spots were occupied, and not a single bay was marked especially for customer pick up- say waiting time limited to 10 Minutes? so I parked in the adjoining allotted car park- I looked around and there on the lamp-post was a large printed sign- This space is owned by Goliath { the next occupier on the trading estate}, and these parking space are ‘MINE’ all mine! and there were some 30 bays next to it all marked the same- they informed one there was a cctv camera installed, and the fine was for parking £100. REmember it was dark and 06.30. I looked at the Royal Mail Sorting Office public entrance tucked in a tight corner in the yard, and as you say cars were parked in the bays, and mounted on the opposite to the paring bays on the access pavement, so car manoeuvres if a bay were free, required the dexterity of a work, and bumpers as fitted to a dodgem car.
    I trust all is well with Mo, and number one son has been redeemed to his pedestal.

  2. see you later alligator! at the HOGMANAY Party? Happy new year and best wishes, to all our readers, especially those wee scotch people.

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