Dial-up Dementia

I am a  one-finger typist with a typing speed that could not keep pace with a snail.   I also don’t send, or read, or respond to text messages — it is all double-Dutch to me.    So it was particularly worrying when I read in the press about the  new discovery in  Alaska.

It was announced at the recent Knowledge Discovery and Data Mining Conference, so you may have missed it, if you didn’t go this year.   Dissappoingly, it was not about a new gold strike in the Yukon, so hold back the huskies and put away your mine detector.

A research paper was presented that was exciting news but, troubling for one~finger typists everywhere.   A team from Apple and  American health care companies studied the way people use their mobile phones.   They found a correlation between slower typing rates and cognative decline.  Also people send fewer text messages as their memory becomes impaired.     Monitoring these changes would enable Apple to predict early signs of dementia.

I have already enrolled on a touch typing course and I am going to send a text message to Apple every day to let them know I am  OK.

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4 Responses to Dial-up Dementia

  1. Finger licking good, tasty hasty lip smacking good. It is a pity the mind is slow, and the brain senile, join the club?? What is this therapeutic advancement or recommendation, a touch typing couse?? It takes me back years to my school boy tech years, and the commercial students, who learnt wpm touch typing, and passing or trying to attain a ‘ goal’ of 80wpm!!,.whoweee!!.
    Now to days keyboarg and QwERTY ON THE modern computer, out lets and other keyboards, the
    Other, and the subsiduary keys are laid out slightly differently, and while one studies the keys, the words on the screen, with the letters touched produces “gobbledygook” , and one is no further forward? May i suggest!
    What are you sir learning upon? A royal, remmington, Olivetti, ibm , and or some others or some ancient piece from one of Mo,s many cupboards? Do you screen your fingers so that you only read the letters and so you can only read words on the screen?, by the way how is the cramp and arthritis in the wrists and fkngers? Can you cope with new research from Alaska, especially for the caribou to abide by??? Or lock horns with???i

  2. It is sunday 1st september, no problems there! I went up to a local bank money machine, and I got my self into finger and memory problems.
    I wished to make inquires into the health and state of my various accounts? Now the problems:- At my gentle elderly age I have to remember passwords, ”pin numbers” and other entry details into the various daily life I conduct in real life and on the ‘internet’? What a lot of detail!
    I approach the bank cash machine with confidence inserted card ‘one’ no problems, I then got ‘cocky’ inserted card two, checked my ”PIN” number and entered it! catastrophe- the machine gobbled up my card, and issue a notice stating that that particular machine was out of service! BALLS? I was stuffed.
    I went home, checked my bank cards, I had the right cards but had entered the wrong ‘PIN-No.” for that gobbled up card. The price of growing old and elderly, while I may present an upright and respectable gent, my mind has gone to pieces, with my finger control, I am just a dribbling old fool.
    Modern life goes on at a pace, and I am not sure as the piece by John states that a touch typing course is for everyone of us? I think I need a ‘mensa’ test, or is it an ‘alhzimiers’ test, and attain a score of 20+ to prove I am in this world not the next??
    Answers if helpful on a postcard please to the usual address- ‘Postie is my daily friend’!

  3. the thoughts of MO? was that the Chairman? I do not mean Mo John;s nearest and dearest. Apologies.
    Lllp-boris
    Where Oh where does one go? With the modern day British Political System? I feel like a boy peeing in the wind; and it is all blowing back in my face?
    I opened my Sunday ‘rag’ the ‘’MAIL On SUNDAY’’, and there to greet me was a large wall map of the world- with all the UN sovereign states nominated, named upon it, except for the ARTIC and ANTARTIC.
    I was taken back in memory to the Coronation Tour Of Our Queen ‘Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh’, on the Britannia, and various modes of transport, and then to my apprenticeship days, and days at sea as a marine engineer, and that requirement to have in one’s cabin a copy of the ‘’Daily Telegraph’’ world wall map! Why are you asking may you say, I hear you shout!! It is all in the mind?
    The ‘Daily Telegraph’’ wall map of its day, was a political, not a physical geographical Map, and for the time showed countries with political allegiances towards each other, and the colour red comes to mind? Showing the influence of the then ‘’British Commonwealth of Nations’’, quite a mixture and a lot of nations, and political unity? WE now come to the ‘Mail on Sunday’s’ wall Map, and I am struck by the Nations, displayed as geographical land masses, and, no political ties apparently?
    There is, are the nations of Russia, China, India, USA, Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Kazakhstan, Saudi Arabia and Canada, and Australia, plus a few more large land states.
    Why all this?? WELL ‘’BORIS’’ and ‘BREXIT’, I politely ask who are are friends and allies? When you look at the Mail on Sunday Wall Map, Europe is a collection of small states {maybe hugely populated per head of population per land boarders} and not on this wall map politically affiliated? One looks at the larger countries, and one comes to the observation of Poland, Germany, France, Italy, and Spain:- the UK are but an offshore European speck?
    THE LAST LAUGH LOONIE PARTY CANDIDATES, may they come ‘FORTH’ Or is it ‘FOURTH’ [after the main UK political affiliations parties?] and pronounce where does our allegiances lie as an independent nation, outside and defence considerations of a ‘’UNITED EUROPE’’ or EU of nations? Where Oh Where does BORIS wish and want us to think about and fight for survival, for instance, do we still have a defence agreement with the loosely called ‘Commonwealth of Nations’? do we have American forces bases as the 52 state of the USA [Will they defend us?], or do we go back and talk ‘TURKEY’ with France, Germany, Spain, and Italy, and Norway, for the defence of Europe, and ultimately the UK?
    Maybe this green horn is ignoring the monies issue, However my forefathers {grand parents and parents volunteered to fight for freedom, from an evil regime, that was allowed to permeate within a society that was ideologically bias. It cost then the western free world and the UK and her commonwealth in monies and souls, Plus the USA-not forgetting them, and Russia.
    I do not wish to see another world conflict of such proportions, but neither do I wish to see the UK as a nation ‘’NAKED’’ as far as defence of human rights, and legitimate economic trading and commerce is undertaken.
    Please LLLP, can you help in this crisis of the UK current political system?? Answers on a postcard please to the usual address.

  4. Now Oh Now! we have Boris going for a general election, if things do not go his way? and last night for my amusement I watched channel 5 Jeremy Paxman on British Politics? I just wonder who is fooling who? Jeremy interview a spectrum of people, mainly in politics and in the media {They may be the trouble makers- the TV and daily press}, with their innuendo, and their blameless societal view for publishing what they see as the truth?
    The telling bit was Jeremy’s closing summation, where he wonders if the design or make up of parliament should be reconsidered, into proportional representation-the debating chamber of the ‘commons’ should be like a courtroom, with a central podium for the speaker, and a dais for the person making a plea for a motion or reply to a motion, all in a horseshoe or semi circular shape, and his finial hidden remark, should we be a republic???
    I just wonder who is fooling who? At the present time we are playing footsie with British constitutional history, are we about to enter a war of words, cyber war or a bloody rebellion for the future of the UK.
    The Queen is a grand old lady, however time is not on her side, and I feel betrayed by this ‘BREXIT’ conundrum? What is the real message politicians have for the UK?? Do we lead them intp revolution, or do they guide us to a peaceful solution. I do not know and cannot tell, from what I am reading, hearing or seeing, Can You of The Last Laugh Loonie Party

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