The General Election is only a year away and Riski and Stammer are paralysed with a lack of imagination. What can they promise the voters if there is no money to spend?

Time for some Last Laugh Looney Party free ideas that could be adopted be either political party for their manifestos :-

• Every household will be given a free adult migrant as an apprentice for a year. They will be expected to diligently work on any task directed by the householder. In exchange they will get bed and breakfast, which may be in a tent in the garden. They will also be taught English. This boat people opportunity will be offered to floating voters on a first come first served basis. The LLLP must emphasise that this is not a form of modern slavery, it’s more a golden opportunity to become fully integrated into British values and culture.
• To help to combat climate change and enable us to reach Nett Zero by 2050, central heating will be phased out immediately. After all we didn’t have it in the olden days, one bar electric fires should be enough to keep you warm in one room. According to the weather forecasters it’s going to get a lot warmer very shortly. That will save on people’s energy bills and put an end to all this silly talk about replacing gas boilers with heat exchangers or new expensive nuclear power stations.
• Working from home should be the norm for all politicians in future, which will keep them more in touch with their constituents. It will also save a fortune in MP’s expenses and eliminate the need to refurbish the House of Commons And the House of Lords, which can be let out as tourist attractions.
• Free BBC TV —— the license fee will be abolished altogether, now that just about every programme is a repeat. They will remind people of times gone bye :- when cops actually caught robbers and Dixon of Dock Green was on the beat; or when Dr Finley saw patients face to face and sometimes even did home visits. Of course it is very sad that many over-paid TV personalities will have to be made redundant.