Last Laugh Looney Cabinet Minister Appointed

Now that the LLLP has officially joined the Cabinet, we have to go through an induction to the newspeak world of Cabinet responsibility.   This means we have to use one, or preferably more, of the following phrases in every speech or interview:-

“Brexit Means Brexit”

(This is whatever you want it to mean.  So nobody will have any idea what we really mean.  Including us.)

 

 

“There will be no turning back”

(We’re sailing into the great blue yonder, with no real idea of where we’re going.   So we won’t be turning back, but we may go all round the world and end up where we started.  Let’s just hope we’re not on board the Titanic!)

 

“We have listened to the people”

(But that doesn’t mean we have to do what they say after they elect us, so that’s ok then)

 

 

 

“We will help the just about managing”

(Although we won’t be very clear about what we mean by “just about managing”)

 

 

 

“We will protect the poorest in society”    

(This includes all the poor people in Scotland who already get free education and free social care.  But please note this quote is not to be used in conjunction with the quote about “just about managing”, nor the quote about “taxing the rich”.)

 

 “We don’t believe in taxing the rich”

(Because that includes all of us politicians and that wouldn’t be fair.)

 

 

 

So for the next 18 months, whilst Brexit is being negotiated, no Cabinet Minister should use any other phrases than the ones listed above.      So remember:-

BREXIT MEANS BREXIT

And we’ll keep saying it until we exit

Or don’t!

All other Last Laugh Looney Party communication beyond this point will only be done by occasional Cabinet leaks.  Which of course we will deny.

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2 Responses to Last Laugh Looney Cabinet Minister Appointed

  1. davidwfreeman237 says:

    Lllpminister
    As a fellow Looney, and a fully certified and paid up member of the ‘LLLP’ and citizen of the republic. I have to take my mentor to task for appointing, and nominating, and then condoning the position of Cabinet Minister to Theresa May’s government inner closet cabinet.
    I now with my ‘Pimms’ in hand’ gently reflect on the written soundbites that allude to this illustrious closeted cabinet.
    The phrase ‘BREXIT’ gives me, and brings me Joy, and I remember the Railway Act of 1963? When a certain Dr, Beeching ruled the rails, and if I take the literal phase ‘’BREXIT’’, I am struck by the similarities of that year 1963, and nowadays? We appear only worried about main lines, and HSTL railway: Gone is the concern for reaching all the other parts of the UK that one may fondly remember or have visited! For instance does ‘BREXIT’’ stand literally for British Rail [BR] – Exit
    The Phrase ‘’No turning Back’’ literally, where does our Navy go to? Or other armed forces? Gone is the empire! In comes the Commonwealth, but what role does it play? A back seat driver’s position or a ‘lover scorned’? The sky may be blue, or Red at Dawn! But I see no Red Sky at Night?
    The Phrase ‘’We have listened to the people’’- The populous have had a referendum, and a general election! Alas the talking and chattering Classes, in Westminster, Edinburgh, Cardiff, and Belfast seem only interested in the echo of their own voices.
    The Phrase ‘’Will help the just about managing’’-Alas they could not arrange a fall of rain in a thunder storm, and then it is only ‘fork lightening: as they dribble and mumble at the mouth speaking with a ‘forked tongue’
    The Phase ‘’ We will protect the poorest in our society’’-Another confused utterance, who is? Who are the poor who are the aliens, immigrants, and refugees? Do we look after the World? Or ourselves, and the needy among us! ‘’Another soundbite of Hot air’’
    The Phrase ‘’ We do not believe in taxing the rich’’- Question who are the rich and well heeled? Have they created, companies, corporations and in some cases charities with a world basis, and a land of international milk and honey for the believers? With International Tax Havens.
    The pursuit of the ‘commodity’ that is called ‘MONEY’ needs a social input and moral guidance? The Political classes of the UK [Westminster, Edinburg, Cardiff and Belfast] must stand up and be counted.
    So I come near to the end, and the Final phrase of the Blog!
    ‘’BREXIT MEANS BREXIT’’
    I reflect on my earlier comments, and wonder if you! Will or do remember the former BR British Rail- steam trains, and passenger rolling stock with ‘SLAM DOORS’? They made a lot of noise when they had to be slammed shut, and if one lent out of the window while the train was in motion, and one touch the handle one could be ejected, headlong on to the track [Not required as a passenger, or possible voter].-Now we have Private companies, electric and diesel trains, automatic entry/exit doors and internal TV camera surveillance, are we being mollycoddled? Have we come too far, whom do we trust? Thinking aloud who or whom do I vote for? Is it the LLLP. See you all at the next general election, unless we have a ‘TITULAR HEAD’ Commandant selected and promoted by the Westminster few!

  2. The leak is coming, I am off to the ”BOG” the land of fairies and leprechauns, and those of the green persuasion??
    ‘Top of the morning too you all!!!’

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