In the run up to the next general election this is Bodj‘s first “ fireside chat “ broadcast. It is called that because it is ment to be informal, but actually there is no fireplace, nor will there be any chat, because doesn’t like questions. He just wants to get on with it. What ever “ it” is.
Tonight Bodj will outline his thoughts on defence.
“We have spent a lot of money on defence over the years. A trillion here and a trillion there and what have we got to show for it? Two state of the art aircraft carriers with no aircraft. An army of Second World War tanks that are not much good against lone suicide bombers. Trident missiles that we never ever want to fire. A be-meddled group of Generals sitting in desks wondering why their equipment orders never arrive on time or within budget. Thank God for the SAS !
Colonel Tom says he has fought enough wars and wants a peaceful tomorrow. Coco says she certainly doesn’t want to get into any dog fights. The LLLP has already recommended getting rid of the Whitehall armchair Generals, but keeping the Household Cavalry for parades and the Red Arrows for flypasts on Bodj’s birthday. We will also keep the rust bucket navy for deporting criminals and their no win no fee lawyers. Secretly we will keep the Trident missiles but we won’t tell anyone where they are so they can remain a deterrent hidden in Scarpa Flow, Oops!
Markus Rashford will be our Defence Minister because he played a lot of games on his computer during the lockdown. He may be playing out of position in defence, but he will be good with a load of drones to deploy against any opposition.
So that’s our defence policy sorted !”
Vote for Bodj in the upcoming election.