Bodj’s Green Plan

This weekend the climate change conference, COP26, is coming to a close and Bodj will claim it is a great success. But the reality is rather different and all the empty promises by here-today, gone-tomorrow politicians are nothing more than hot air.

Bodj is gradually waking up to the reality that climate change is going to happen so he is pushing ahead with his Plan B solution of a Boris Wall, described in the previous blog.

This is already being haled as a resounding success for Home Secretary, Pretty Useless; now she has brought thousands more migrants across the channel in a armada of Boris dingy’s. French President Macaroon has given her the Legion d’Honour medal for her humanitarian work with refugees.

Meanwhile, Bodj is turning his attention to masterminding the next thirty years of his Grand Plan for Combatting Climate Change, henceforth to be called the BGPCCC. Not to be confused with Brexit or Building Back Better, or levelling up, or any other earlier slogan.

The BGPCCC will start with a Plan A, although it follows Plan B. Plan A will start with a long range weather forecast for the next 30 years.

  • We will have frequent floods in the UK every year.
  • The wind will sometimes not blow at all, causing power cuts, but there will also be gales, lots of gales, causing trees to block roads and depositing leaves on railway lines.
  • In the summer it will be sunny, very sunny with temperatures in excess of 50 degrees, which is hot, very hot.
  • Thunder and lightening will be very, very frightening. Mama Mia.
  • Not forgetting the snow. Snow will fall when weather forecasters least expect it —- in the winter.

In short it is all going to be very un predictable, putting weather forecasters every where out of a job 🤡

In spite of all this Prime Minister President Bodj remains optimistic and his first rambling thoughts to be included in his BGPCCC are listed below in no particular order, because is that the way Bodj thinks :-

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 Buy British ! No more imports, this should solve the lorry driver shortage at a stroke and improve the balance of payment crisis and stop all those arguments with Europe about regulations.

  • We will all have to grow our own veg and there will be no more bananas or pineapples until the climate warms up, which won’t be long. All city parks will be turned into allotments manned by Monty Don’s.
  • Because of the latest furore about MP’s moonlighting with lucrative second jobs, Bodj has decided that ALL MP’s must have second jobs, in future to show their commitment to the BGPCCC, they will work for the Boris Forestry Commission one day a week. Every Thursday MP’s must be in their constituencies planting trees in high visability jackets so that voters can see what they are upto – a bit like community service 😀 They will have to plant 1,000 trees a year until temperatures start to fall. There will be no cheating by planting little acorns — trees must native species at least 3 years old — and there must be a before and after photograph as proof of MP planting. Failure to plant trees will lead to an instant by-election.
  • The new forests will all be called “Boris Woods”, to mark our great leaders contribution to saving the planet.
  • Oh and one more thing …. we all have to drive Boris electric cars, with a maximum range of 30 miles. Public must be used for longer journeys.

And another thing —- Carrie, the latest first lady, says we all have to become vegetarians, because all those cows and sheep pooing are releasing too much methane into the atmosphere.


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3 Responses to Bodj’s Green Plan

  1. Coaloilpeate
    What a piece by our LLLP Chairman??? The Last Laugh Loonie Party- COP=26, yes as the conference in Glasgow draws towards its conclusion, and again as a member of the LLLP is the subject being discussed, ‘’What Fuels’’ can we use in the future of the world. For instance as a UK Nation one has, ‘coal, oil, peate,’ in 26 CWT [hundred weight barrels]??? It is all in the wind, and daytime when the sunshines. However this is not at all guaranteed? An electric shocking of ones’ brain, in an emergency operation in trying to achieve an amenable solution, welcomed by the world at large.
    The title BGPCCC, is rather unfortunate ‘BORIS Grape Picking Collecting, Cooking, Consuming’ A Rather grand Title for a’’ Chateau BORIS Bottle of Plonk from the Garden of England-Kent’’-
    Here In Kent we start building Boris’s seawall, and keep out the illegal immigrants, sink the feries that transport our exports/inports and heavy goods traffic that joins us [The UK] Metaphorically to the European Union.
    Again converting all our brown city and town sites not into housing ,but allotments for growing Food??? All our MP’s buying shares in the various food companies that convert fresh foods into tinned and preserved goods, making monies out of all of us as we vote for a green future???? With envious eyes as the Westminster parliamentarians try to deceive the population of the UK-red eyed with anger, not green eyed with envy!!!
    Cars- electric 30 miles maximum range? What about commercial heavy transport vehicles? Here we need some brilliant thinking, Windboard transport for the individual, or solar panel-board, and a raft or canoe should it rain, or eurekia! tandem bicycles, push bikes- no fitted motor assistance –on specified paths tracks, leaving the commercial traffic to occupy the roads.
    Carrie, first Lady is this BODJ [better half??], stating we all become ‘Vegetarians’ Plant new trees and chop down old timber to keep us warm, and fuel our kitchen ranges.
    AS I look on as a member of the ‘Ragamuffin Society of the LLLP, I am total confused, was to what political agenda, and intentions are for the future of the UK Nation: I feel the UK is leaderless and without a responsible group of Parliamentarians’ to guide the UK through the future.
    As I scribe scribble this the Sunday evening news at 18.30 is making ‘HAY’ Or is it ‘HEY’ on the latest railway development within England. Gone has the HS2 development in totality, and incomes some local cities towns Railway Priorities- Welcome Mr Beecham, you are not forgotten.
    Maybe I have posted a mixed writing of rubbish! Or all cobblers’
    Your turn now, Please.

  2. Good morning Carrie is going to the G7 Summit, whether as a speaker, delegate, or a piece of dressing is not reported too clearly in the media? This has made me consult ‘Wikipedia” and its unbiased articles; Here I was interested to read the subject matter on our elected Prime Minister Rt. Hon. Boris Johnson, and I note the written word? What disturbs me is where is the morals and respect for the english society I was born into 79 years ago?
    There appears no respect for a religion, creed, the crown, or ones countryman. As a young Boy Scout and as a brother, son of a family in my younger day my respect was paid to God, Country and family. The Queen was respected, the Archbishop of Canterbury was listened too, and my Grand parents and father mother were the guiding light how I should behave in my future life as a man, working, head of a family, and respect for ladies.
    Easily spoken you may say, but then in 2021, the world is upside down, now, No respect for anyone, One is out for ones self, and the elected leaders, and representatives of this nation belong to a ‘Idolatry Club’ of Bugger the rest of you, and pull the ladder up Jack, I must sail away on my voyage.
    It is all me me me? and ‘WOKE’ has no bounds, or respect for this country of ours, and the prejudices of religion are surfacing again with vengeance in all walks of life?? Where is our Citizenship and respect for each other? Where oh Where has it Gone???
    Answers on a post card please to the usual address,

  3. Is the answers blowing in the wind??? No one appears sufficiently hot under the collar, to blaspheme or considered able to comment with respect? The royal mail postie obviously has an empty post /mail bag.

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