Redecorating the kitchen with a wifely makeover, a clear-out of all the cupboards and drawers; the cupboards where things fell out when you opened the door; the drawers that would not open because of something stuck at the back.
Where did all this stuff come from? The back of the cupboards is the resting place for almost-empty jars or just-past or long-since past sell-by date cans. The kind that Captain Scott might have been forced to eat, but we keep “just in case”. Impulse buys that didn’t turn out to be impulse eats. The second of the “buy one get one free” offers, when you only wanted one.
Then there is the “never know when you might want one drawer” full of screwdrivers, paperclips, note pads, assorted pens, torches that don’t work and left over batteries.
The “clear anything and everything cupboard” under the sink. The thick bleach, the thin bleach, the glasses cleaner, the window cleaner, the silver polish, the Brasso, the wall tile cleaner and the floor cleaner. Then there’s the shoe polish – black, brown and natural – all multiplied by five. Never finish polish off completely before buying a new one, otherwise you might end up with dirty shoes on the very day you’re going for a job interview.
I haven’t even mentioned the cupboards of technical stuff like saucepans and cake tins; jars and jugs; spoons and forks and forks and spoons; big knives; little knives; serrated knives; cheese knives; sharp knives and blunt knives. Oh and foil, yards and yards of aluminium foil. We could wrap up the moon!
P.s now it’s all cleared out and tidy, the cupboard doors open and close, the drawers slide in and out. All ready for filling up again!