Bodj’s New Year Revolution

Prime Minister Bodj has had a hard time of it in the last two Coronapop years. After his great success with Brexit he has slowly slipped down the popularity polls. An ungrateful electorate has lost him two bi-elections and the media are relentless in their criticism of his wallpaper and the occasional Christmas party. Half the people want more lockdowns and the other half don’t. Some want masks and just as many don’t. Everybody wants more money but nobody wants to pay for it.

Last, but certainly not least there is Coronapop, which just won’t go away. When you get on top of one virus variant, another pops up. The scientists will be running out of the Greek alphabet before they are finished.

So Bodj has decided that enough is enough. What he needs is to bring back the Last Laugh Looney Party to help him with some new ideas for a New Year Revolution.

Ideas that will cement Boris in power for the next decade or two, but not up two 2050 when the climate might have got a bit too hot for comfort.

Firstly, to deal with Coronapop. All people who are not fully vaccinated and boosted, who get the bug, will be sent to a new nightingale pop-up hospital on the Isle of People ( formally called the Isle of Man ) It will be staffed by the NHS doctors and nurses who have refused to have the jab. If the patients recover they can return to the mainland after sixteen negative tests, providing they wear a face-mask for 12 months and don’t get closer than two meters to anyone.

Secondly, we have the Scottish problem. The solution is simple. Redraw the national boundaries so that all of the mainland and almost all of the Islands are redefined as English counties. Just leaving Rockall as Scotland, which will be freely granted independence without the need for a referendum. Lady Nicola and all her SNP MP’s will be free to rejoin the EU. A happy coincidence is that Bodj will have less opposition MP’s in parliament.

The third big issue facing Bodj is “levelling up, whatever that means. But added to that is ” illegal immigration”, which Pretty Useless has completely failed to stop. Fortunately the LLLP has an answer to both issues in one move. All migrants will be welcome to stay if instead of landing at Dover, they can navigate their inflatables to the country formally known as Scotland. On arrival they will be granted provisional citizenship and given a ”digging ” job. After one year of digging or 100 tons they will be granted full citizenship and the right to vote for Bodj.

Digging tasks will include planting ten million trees and levelling down some of the highest mountains. Bodj thinks this will help raise the average level of the rest of the UK. The incentive to keep digging is that Bodj has spread a rumour that ”There is gold in them there hills”, which may or may not be true.

So there we have it.

Coronapop contained. The SNP vanquished. Immigration solved and the country levelled up.

Another Bodj masterstroke !

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5 Responses to Bodj’s New Year Revolution

  1. Here we all are in the kitchen, or cooking on the campfire, all WOKE’ not creating smoke and smells, but a most tastey dish for this year 2022, with our ingredients and lots of ‘JERK'{S}?
    The LLLP are lost!!!! we have our bonfires, and fireworks, and set fire to all that rubbish that transpires from those ‘Houses of Parliament,’ with all its attendant ‘JERKS’ of wanton Power lust, not forgetting their sexual lust for pleasures and name dropping in discrete media publications for that Odd Buck or Two???
    What do I taste: What do I smell??? You tell me, I am full of saffron and that scotch bonnet m/s Sturgeon and all that policy of BREXIT which still needs to be clarified By BODJ and his COHOART?
    PS Have you a ‘rocket up ones posterior’, going to the ‘GODS’ with a wish, or is this theatre Just a Pantomime Of ”OH NO ITS NOT” or Oh yes it Is?? WE need a song? I know all the verses of ‘On Ilkley Moor BAHTat’ but do you know the last verse??? I as a ‘ragamuffin’ of The LLLP and will now wish you ‘good day;!!! Happy hunting!!

  2. A conundrum for 2022 Burns Night, while one is listening to the Bagpipes, and eating the ‘Haggis neaps and tatties’ and gulping down that swig of Scottish liquor’?; Question IS a ‘JERK’ a hot bit of STUFF’ and or is it male or Female? or non sexual, and is it ‘WOKE?? Or is it last years throw away???

  3. idlly goggling at the goggle box this morning, and my recorded programme of Mr Robert Preston on ITV last night! It was difficult to keep a straight face, when the educational secretary stated that BODJ was most sincere in his statement at yesterdays PM Question time about his party in the garden of No 10 on the 20th May 2020, and he the PM is sincerely sorry, but it was a works event not a party. The educational secretary who at that time was in the health ministry states that the prime minister BODJ did good honest work in making the PPE Contracts and contracts for manufacturing the Corvid-19 jabs?? I am cynical but there appear a lot of Indian sub continental connections, both in fact/persons and ‘WOKE’.
    Is there something to understand here, without a lot of prejudice and money??? Please send me a postcard.

  4. My daily paper-The Mail is to me sensational, in the manner in which it wishes to impart its views upon me, as a reader??
    You may ask what about? Troops being sent to the UKRAINE- That is British Troops! I find the story worrying, so for my sins, I went to another of their stories the BBC Licence fee is up fpr discussion, and the abandonment, allegedly due to, and bias that the BBC according to the Politicians of the day in WEstminster , and especially those serving BODJ – { The Right Hon. Boris Johnson, MP PM}, state that the BBC Manderins dish up as news!!!
    I went back to my days in the Merchant Navy, sailing the seven seas, and the then BBC Radio World Service, and tuned into the web/Net and read the simple facts as presented on the BBC World Service. I found the report, simple to read, no extraneous opinions issued !! Just the Truth and Facts.
    I am personally concerned in the development of this diplomatic situation, and I find that the fluff and alleged stories of inter conservative party goings on under BORIS BODJ, like kids in the school playground of who is supporting who or whom, as a possible leader of the UK Nation very upsetting, and immature.
    AS A side issue I would wish the BBC world service to remain in being.

  5. Oh dear the media, full of the conservatives, and Boris the Rt. Hon. MP PM, is correct in his reading of the support within his party. More ‘GUFF’ In the dailyrag-Daily Mail is a silent piece by a Native german, stating BOris is the correct leader for the UK {page- 8 }
    What am I missing?? truth and integrity in a leader, i just wonder?? I am just a voter!!!

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