“Smile Post” 1

Before reading this post, if you haven’t already done so, you need to go back and look at Grumble Post 1, 2 and 3 dated 6th, 13th and 20th November 2011 or click on the “GrumbleSmile Post” in the tag cloud.

In an effort to turn a Grumble into a Smile, I thought it would be a good idea to suggest some ways to keep our Royal Mail alive by re-inventing it as a completely new service based on some old experience and a fun new image.

  • Pat will visit every home, every day, rain or shine 🙂
  • Pat will have his little car and pull a train of Disney style golf buggies :-
  • The “Wakey Wakey” buggy will sell milk in bottles which will rattle to let you know Pat’s on his way  🙂
  • The “Cock-a-D00dle-Doo” buggy will sell fresh, free-range eggs with no “Lion” stamp on,  just straw and chicken poo  🙂
  • The “Baked Today by Grandma” buggy will sell fresh bread – brown bread, white bread, bloomers, rolls, French sticks but absolutely no sliced loaves in plastic wrappers –  there will also be home baked cakes  – Victoria sponges, chocolate cakes, Chelsea buns, fairy cakes, Eccles cakes, iced rolls but  absolutely no  calories ——and there will be a lovely smell of fresh baking left behind everywhere Pat has been on his daily round 🙂
  • The “Five-a-Day” buggy will sell only Organic fruit and veg supplied from nearby farms.  As an additional benefit, you will also be able to sell your own surplus garden produce to Pat in exchange for £1 stamps to pay for your Christmas card post 🙂
  • The “Get-You-better” buggy will deliver medical supplies, all your pills and potions……and incontinence pads.  For the elderly and young children, Pat has been specially trained (a sort of ‘pill NVQ’) to administer the tablets at your front door with a spoonful of jam 🙂


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3 Responses to “Smile Post” 1

  1. Capital237 says:

    How about a warning fog horn or ear trumpet for those hard of hearing, a towed carvan for those who need a bed, and off course do not for get the ‘Blues and two’s for those who like to speed and get to a destination fast, while Pat delivers and provides the postal bus service to all those rural areas!! By Heckers lad we are missing a lot in life, one only has to dream.
    Life may consist of eating through a straw, crushed pills in a dosage pot, a loo with straining bars, a cord or too to pull for a ride in an ambulance, and a walk through the park in a wheelchair.
    Amber is the colour at the moment as we warn everyone we are about, but come the day I suspect, I will not hear, I cannot hear, and I will not care so long as you or Pat can get me there on time? Not like the 1 st class post at weekends, where I travel as a letter first class in a second class service!!!

    • john graham says:

      This is the point at which I flew off to America. Only to find that they too are having problems with their postal service and are contemplating dropping daily deliveries to a two day service. Oh dear 😦

  2. Capital237 says:

    PS Good morning John to you.

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