THIS POST CARRIES A GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING ! Do not take this blog too seriously.
After my recent problems with my poorly foot ( See my blog “Best Foot Forward” by clicking in the Archive on 10 June 2012 ) this is another foot note.
My very good friend Maureen, with no doubt my best interests at heart (or should it be foot), suggested I might have GOUT. What a kind thought, how nice of her to think of me at this painful time in my life
Now all I know about gout is that it is something to do with port, cheese and old men. I qualify on two counts. So I turned to my other trusty friend, at a time of medical crisis. I Googled “gout”. Self -diagnosis is a wonderful thing 🙂
48,000,000 results —– there must be a lot of gout about ! A veritable epidemic. So I suppose I might well have caught it somewhere.
It is going to take a lifetime to read all there is to know about gout. I may well have passed away of old age before I discover if I have it. Still it will all come out at the inquest I imagine. Another footnote.
Might as well start at the beginning with Number 1 on Google.
STAMPOUTGOUT.CO.UK a very informative site with everything you would wish to know about gout — then again I didn’t wish to know all about gout until Maureen mentioned it.
The first advice it offers is ” Four steps to take” —- I guess that immediately wrong -foots 99% of sufferers straight away.
So I give up on that and decide to do the Quiz instead. Here are a few of the helpful things I learned :-
Gout is to do with excess Uric acid and the European recommended level is measured in Micro moles per litre — there is a mole in my garden so maybe that is how you catch it ?
Only 1-2% of people have it in the UK, but there are 5 million sufferers in the European Union — I have always said we should not go into Europe. Cancel that holiday in France.
Next I looked on Wikipedia, that must be something to do with feet. They say Gout is the “disease of Kings” — That’s better. I’d say that gout is a price worth paying to become royalty. I wonder which country I will get. Monaco would be quite good they only have a Prince at the moment, so there is room for me 🙂
The other thing I learned from Wikipedia is that gout is rarely found among eunuchs — mind that is a heck of a drastic remedy for curing gout 😦
I gave up on reading the other 76 pages of Google information, I was beginning to scare myself too much. Self-diagnosis is a wonderful thing, but maybe I will just assume I have not got gout after all. My foot is feeling better already.