THIS POST CARRIES A GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING ! Do not take this blog too seriously.
After my recent problems with my poorly foot ( See my blog “Best Foot Forward” by clicking in the Archive on 10 June 2012 ) this is another foot note.
My very good friend Maureen, with no doubt my best interests at heart (or should it be foot), suggested I might have GOUT. What a kind thought, how nice of her to think of me at this painful time in my life
Now all I know about gout is that it is something to do with port, cheese and old men. I qualify on two counts. So I turned to my other trusty friend, at a time of medical crisis. I Googled “gout”. Self -diagnosis is a wonderful thing 🙂
48,000,000 results —– there must be a lot of gout about ! A veritable epidemic. So I suppose I might well have caught it somewhere.
It is going to take a lifetime to read all there is to know about gout. I may well have passed away of old age before I discover if I have it. Still it will all come out at the inquest I imagine. Another footnote.
Might as well start at the beginning with Number 1 on Google.
STAMPOUTGOUT.CO.UK a very informative site with everything you would wish to know about gout — then again I didn’t wish to know all about gout until Maureen mentioned it.
The first advice it offers is ” Four steps to take” —- I guess that immediately wrong -foots 99% of sufferers straight away.
So I give up on that and decide to do the Quiz instead. Here are a few of the helpful things I learned :-
Gout is to do with excess Uric acid and the European recommended level is measured in Micro moles per litre — there is a mole in my garden so maybe that is how you catch it ?
Only 1-2% of people have it in the UK, but there are 5 million sufferers in the European Union — I have always said we should not go into Europe. Cancel that holiday in France.
Next I looked on Wikipedia, that must be something to do with feet. They say Gout is the “disease of Kings” — That’s better. I’d say that gout is a price worth paying to become royalty. I wonder which country I will get. Monaco would be quite good they only have a Prince at the moment, so there is room for me 🙂
The other thing I learned from Wikipedia is that gout is rarely found among eunuchs — mind that is a heck of a drastic remedy for curing gout 😦
I gave up on reading the other 76 pages of Google information, I was beginning to scare myself too much. Self-diagnosis is a wonderful thing, but maybe I will just assume I have not got gout after all. My foot is feeling better already.
THANKS MAUREEN
GrumbleSmiles 
Hello John,
I have a brother who is non drinking but suffers periodically with gout. It Is indeed caused by a build up of uric acid and it affect joints.I hate to tell you that he has had gout in his thumb, gout in his elbow and gout in his big toe ,Wherever it is it is very painful and even someone walking across the room when you have really bad gout in a foot can cause extra pain. I do think the doctors treat Gout and they help..Stop trying to diagnose your self.Hope the pain goes away soon,
I’m very sorry to hear about your brother; does he eat a lot of cheese?
You’re beginning to worry me now and I will keep a particular eye of my elbows and thumbs from now on. In the meantime, I’ve put a notice on the lounge door asking people not to enter without knocking first, so that I can get my feet off the ground before they come in. As I have now been in contact with some very helpful people at Boots, I will contact them for advice about Gout products. I’ll let you know how I get on.