LLLP INVESTIGATES JUSTICE

 The Last Laugh Looney Party will now move on to examine the private club for lawyers, otherwise known as the Ministry of Justice.

OPENING ARGUMENT:-

  • Justice takes too long to deliver.
  • Legal aid is a gravy train for lawyers.
  • Reduced sentences are justice denied.
  • Too many prisoners reoffend.
  • Just doing time for a crime is not enough redress.
  • Proceeds of crime and substantial damages for victims should be fully repaid before release.

SOME FACTS :-

  • The MoJ costs £ 8.1 billion annually.
  • There are 25,000 people in prison.
  • 10,000 Offenders are  on probation serving community sentences.
  • There are 22,000 prison officers.
  • 3456 probation officers.
  • 6543 staff at MoJ.
  • a zillion lawyers making a mint.

LLLP script for Bodj TV broadcast :-

“I am going to be the next great prison reformer.   Prisoners must pay for their crimes.   Literally !      £5,000 for shoplifting;  £10,000 for each burglary ;  £100,000 for GBH ;   £1,000,000 for murder ;  etc.     On top of this they must pay for their hotel stay in our luxurious prisons …… and compensate their victims.
They will be paid minimum wage when serving their time, but they will be expected to work at all the jobs nobody else wants to do :- sorting our waste; recycling our nuclear waste somehow; untieing knots in string; tieing knots in string;  cleaning graffiti off walls ( except for Banksy ).    When they have finished their term, they will then have to do a years voluntary service to pay their debt to society.”

“ A year or two of this and I expect there to be a lot less crime.   Then we will be able to do without most of the lawyers”

FORECAST SAVING :    £ 9.2 billion.

 

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4 Responses to LLLP INVESTIGATES JUSTICE

  1. my MoJo? ministry of justice officialdom!

  2. My ‘MoJo’?
    Here I was munching, ‘my apple a day’ drifting and dreaming of warm thoughts from my visit to ‘Smiles Grumbles’ web site by John Graham, when I was woken up by an utterings of that alleged character BODJ, and his government Body the Ministry Of Justice, and the wishes of the LLLP to put some corrective thoughts to BODJ and his ‘cohorts’ both in the House Of Commons and House of Lords for a ‘constitutional amendment/correction! At this point I felt lost and like the good fella John is! I have had in my school boy fashion, had to go back and do some homework, as the feelings while I agree with what is/as expressed, I need a little caution in my mind as to how one rectifies, the situation within reason?
    In my innocence I went onto the ‘wikapedia’ web site, and asked the question: ‘’The British Constitution’’, and after much scan reading and digesting of information, I believe. Within my mind I understand the situation;- Like the Isle of Man the British Constitution has three legs to stand on, non of which are paramount, but each depend upon the two legs; however one resolves the discussion?
    1/= parliamentary sovereignty, {House of Commons-House of Lords}
    2/= the rule of law,  and, [the Supreme Court]
    3/= democracy, {US by voting for a government within the House of Commons}
    So in my small mind Parliament decides policies and laws {Acts and regulations of Parliament}, then the Supreme Courts enforce these Acts and Regulations as Law then we YOU and Me, with our humble vote decide in our wisdom on the actual make up of House of Commons? and here at this point I woke up to a dream, and just wondered, what ‘Have I Done’? I was at the last election looking for a unified UK & NI, so we could all go along with a united idea or set of ideas, under the guidance of a knowing governing party? What a ‘SHAMBLES’ [an oldy wordly street in the city of YORK- shops too close for comfort and cobblestones to make ones footing uncertain?] Has BODJ lived up to his dream are we part of his MoJ {MOJO}, are we sat on the bench as 12 good persons of the jury, or has he elevated us to the Supreme Court and we are one of the 12 judges???
    Questions for you, personally: Are we all members of the ‘INNS OF COURT’ {4 of them} and do we have breakfast at some establishment of repute? Or do we slum it at some burger or chicken outlet?
    It is only money, I feel like a pauper, raped and pillaged, and my head draped over a spike on London Bridge for all too see, with a broom up my backside.
    Beware BODJ I do have a vote, you may have 5 years, or sorry the Conservative Party do, so please do not antagonise the british voting public too much, you have much too do yet, including an honourable agreement to be reached with the European Union?

  3. I am staggered by the facts of the case mE Lords? stated boldly are 25.000 prisoners, {Behind bars-I assume, and then there are 22.000 prison officers, almost one to one? and then I read there are 10.000 offenders with 3.456 probationary officers, and then to cap it all 6.543 [ BODJ MoJO;s] staff some where in this ‘mire’ are the solicitors , barristers fighting for our rights, {not Pro BONO, but for a fee}, and some of those fees are paid by us the taxpayer for incorrect legal procedures and arrests. All good clean fun? As John, may suggests, something maybe amiss here, and why a fair number of MP’s and Lord;s and Lady;s of the land play a good fiddle by studying and practicing law as a second career/Language/ occupation of the mind? Are they being fair, can we as voters change any of this?? Without a revolution?? I Just wonder???
    I remain your most honourable Pauper-total buggered and shafted, how do you feel???

  4. Our we loonies or sane? the future from another web site-Some in depth reading–
    QUOTE
    THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE MOST OR ALL OF THE FOLLOWING WILL BECOME REALITY IN THE NEXT 10-20 YEARS – SOME OF US WON’T SEE THE CHANGES, BUT OUR KIDS AND GRAND-KIDS WILL !!

    1 – Auto repair shops will disappear . . . .

    2 – A petrol/diesel engine has 20,000 individual parts . An electrical motor has 20. Electric cars are sold with lifetime guarantees and are repaired only by dealers – It takes only 10 minutes to remove and replace an electric motor . . . .

    3 – Faulty electric motors are NOT repaired in the dealership but are sent to a regional repair shop that repairs them with ROBOTS . . . .

    4 – Your electric motor malfunction light goes on. So you drive up to what looks like a car wash, and your car is towed through while you have a cup of coffee. Then your car comes out on the other side with a new electric motor or component

    5 – Petrol pumps will go away . . . .

    6 – Street corners will have meters that dispense electricity. Companies will install electrical recharging stations . . . . In fact, they’ve already started in the developed world

    7 – Smart major auto manufacturers have already designated money to start building new plants that build ONLY electric cars

    8 – The “Coal Industries” will go away. Gasoline/oil companies will go away. Drilling for oil will stop. So say goodbye to OPEC. The middle-east is in trouble.

    9 – Homes will produce and store more electrical energy during the day than they us. It will be sold back to “The Grid. . . The Grid will store and dispense it to the industries that are high electricity users. Has anybody seen the Tesla roof ??

    10 – A baby of today, will only see “personal cars” in museums. The FUTURE is approaching faster than most of us can even handle

    11 – In 1998, Kodak had 170,000 employees and sold 85% of all photo paper worldwide. Within just a few years, their business model disappeared. And they went bankrupt. Who would have thought of that ever happening ??

    12 – What happened to Kodak and Polaroid will happen in a lot of industries in the next 5-10 years. And most people don’t even see it coming.

    13 – Did you think in 1998 that 3 years later, you would never take pictures on film again. With today’s smartphones, who even has a camera these days??

    14 – Yet digital cameras were invented in 1975. The first ones only had 10,000 pixels but followed Moore’s law . . . . As with all exponential technologies, it was a disappointment in the beginning. Before it became way superior and mainstream in only a few short years.

    15 – It will now happen again (but much faster) with Artificial Intelligence (AI), health, autonomous and electric cars, education, 3D printing, agriculture and jobs .

    16 – Forget the book, “Future Shock”, welcome to the 4th Industrial Revolution.

    17 – Software has disrupted and will continue to disrupt most traditional industries (in the next 5 to 10 years . . .

    18 – UBER is just a software tool, (they don’t own any cars), and are now the biggest taxi company in the world . . . . (Ask any taxi driver if they saw that coming)

    19 – AIR-BnB is now the biggest hotel company in the world (they don’t own any properties). Ask Hilton Hotels or the Marriott, if they saw that coming.

    20 – Artificial Intelligence (AI): Computers become exponentially better in understanding the world . . . . This year, a computer beat the best Go-player in the world . . . . (10 years earlier than expected) . . . .

    21 – In the USA, young lawyers already don’t get jobs, (because of IBM’s, WATSON). You can get legal advice within a few seconds so far the basic stuff. With 90% accuracy compared with 70% accuracy when done by humans . . . . So, if you’re studying law, STOP IMMEDIATELY. There will be 90% fewer lawyers in the future, what a thought and only omniscient specialists will remain

    22 – WATSON already helps nurses diagnosing cancer – it’s 4 times more accurate and many times faster than human nurses

    23 – Facebook now has a ‘face recognition’ software that can recognize faces better than humans . . . . In 2030, computers will become more intelligent than humans . . . .

    24 – Autonomous cars: In 2018 the first self-driving cars were already here. In the next few years, the entire auto industry will start to be disrupted. You won’t want to own a car any more as you will call a car with your phone, it will show up at your location and drive you to your destination.

    25 – You will not need to park it, you will pay only for the ‘driven distance’ and you can be productive while driving . The very young children of today will never get a driver’s license and they will never own a car.

    26 – This will change our cities because we will need 90% to 95% fewer carparks. We can transform former parking spaces into green city parks.

    27 – About 1.2 million people die each year in car accidents (worldwide). That includes distracted or drunk drivers . . . . We currently have one accident every 60,000 miles driven. However with autonomous driving that will drop to 1 accident in about 6 million miles. That will save a million plus lives, worldwide each year . . . .

    28 – Most traditional car companies will doubtless become bankrupt. They will try the evolutionary approach and just build a better car while tech companies (Tesla, Apple, Google) will do the revolutionary approach and build a computer on wheels .

    29 – Look at what Volvo is doing right now – no more internal combustion engines in their vehicles starting this year with the 2020 models. They are using all-electric or hybrid only, (with the intent of phasing out hybrid models in the not too distant future).

    30 – Many engineers from Volkswagen and Audi are completely terrified of Tesla . . . . Look at all the companies offering all-electric vehicles . . . That was unheard of, only a few years ago . . . .

    31 – Insurance companies will have massive trouble to . . . . because, without accidents, the costs of insurance will become cheaper . . . . Their car insurance business model will disappear . . . .

    32 – Real estate will change . . . . Because if you can work while you commute, or you can work from your home . . . . people will abandon their towers to move far away to more beautiful and affordable properties . .

    33 – Electric cars will become mainstream by about 2030 . . . . Cities will be less noisy because all new cars will run ONLY on electricity . . . .

    34 – Cities will have much cleaner air . . . .

    35 – Electricity will become incredibly cheap and clean . . . .

    36 – Solar production has been on an exponential curve for 30 years . . . . but you can now see the burgeoning impact . . . . and it’s just starting to get ramped up . . . .

    37 – Fossil energy companies are desperately trying to limit access to the grid . . . . to prevent competition from home solar installations . . . . but that simply cannot continue . . . . Technology will take care of that strategy in the not too distant future . . . .

    38 – Health: The Tricorder X price will be announced this year . . . . There are companies who will build a medical device called the “Tricorder” from Star Trek that works with your phone, which takes your retina scan, a sample of your blood, then you breath into it . . . . It then analyses 54 bio-markers that will identify nearly any disease . . . . There are dozens of phone apps out there right now for health . . . .

    WELCOME TO TOMORROW – some of it actually arrived a few years ago . . . . And, wouldn’t you know it, I’m still trying to figure out how to use my cell phone !!
    UNQUOTE
    Trying to understand what may be to this LOONIE? A Little Sobering??

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