Tramp Splash!

Posted on April 6, 2025 by john graham

Emperor President Tramp has thrown all his tariff pebbles in the global economic pond and almost immediately everybody is floundering. Just like the beautiful disrupter intended. Or at least that’s what he would have you believe🤡

Britain which he thinks is a beautiful country with a great King Willi, got off lightly. Indeed the UK is destined for tumultuous times once we are fully integrated as the First State of the USA. We will all be eatin’ Chlorinated Kentucky Fried Chickin and maybe we can even be given some Ben & Gerry’s ice cream.

Sub prime mister Stammer is still trying to catch up with all the changes. He is about to reshuffle his cabinet and sacrifice Big Ed, “the zero man”, so that we can get on and Drill Baby Drill and Frack Baby Frack. We are going to have so much oil and gas, that we won’t need any more windmills or electric cars — except beautiful Tesslars. Nett Zero still remains a top priority to be achieved just a bit later — say by the year 3,000 or perhaps 3,050.

The other reshuffle casualty will be the Immigration Minister Evette Cockup, who has done such a terrible job of “smashing the gangs”. Her job is being given to Smiling Nigel, who will be permanently stationed on a gunboat in the English Channel playing very, very loud music in the direction of France. Any immigrants that evade Rule Britannia at 3 am in the morning will be captured and ferried to Corsica.

Unfortunately the Smiler Nigel may have gone a little too far by putting landing craft onto the beaches in France, but he explained he was just re-enacting D day. That’s the day when The Donald takes over Europe🤡

It is all good fun and will Make Europe Great Again.

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Tramp Fishing.

Posted on April 2, 2025 by john graham

Pres/ Emperor Tramp has been fishing for the last month, but so far he has only disturbed the water. So far there have been only a few bites.

He has caught some lithium and totonkium and lots of other rare iums. He also has picked up some power stations along the way. All in Ukraine.

Up till now the bigger fish have still eluded him. Fishermen need patience, but El Trampo is not a patient man.

So what to do? 😈🤡😈🤡😈🤡😈🤡 Devil or Angel?

No contest ! Tramp’s definitely got a devil may care approach to life😈

WATCH THIS SPACE.

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Smiling Tramp🤡

Posted on March 30, 2025 by john graham

Emperor Tramp is having a laugh, which is why he is an ideal member of the Last Laugh Looney Party. His sense of humour is based on smoke and mirrors, which makes it difficult to know what he really intends. Indeed he often doesn’t know himself what he really intends🤡

So far he has succeeded in discombobulating lots of his opponents in the USA and especially politicians in the UK and Europe. Nobody is sure what he is about to do next. He is the only one still smiling, although “the Russians are coming” is a warning that is increasingly relevant.

His next bold move is to form RATO — Russian American Treaty Organisation —as a replacement for NATO.

RATO is the new alliance between America and Russia, where both countries have agreed to share their nuclear weapons and only use them in a dire emergency- like a war😈 For this Emperor Tramp and Mr Rasputin have jointly been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize 🤡🤡

Emperor Tramp returned with the treaty in hand proclaiming :-

“Peace in our time”

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Smiling Tarriffs🤡

Posted on March 26, 2025 by john graham

Now that the UK has become the First State of the American Empire, Emperor Tramp has declared that we will be beautifully tariff free. There will be no import taxes or export taxes between Britain and the USA. Sir Keyer Stammer is delighted to announce that he has successfully negotiated that we can have all the Kentucky Fried Chicken, chlorinated or unchlorinated, that we could possibly want.

The Transport Secretary, whoever he or she or they or it, is today, has confirmed that all Government cars will be driverless Tesla vehicles. Thereby enabling 2,000 chauffeurs to be redeployed to filling potholes.

Buses and trains will also be driverless, although the RMT union has agreed drivers will still be paid for working from home. Except in London, where there will be no more buses until Mayor Khannot resigns and apologises for calling Pres Tramp a xxxxing idiot.

All European goods will double in price because of the beautiful 100% tarriffs on imported products. So we will all be drinking no more French wines or eating unhealthy Italian cheese, instead we will have a healthy diet of McDonald’s burgers and Domino’s Pizza.

Our country’s security is now assured by Emperor Tramp’s guarantee that he will come to our rescue in the event of a war. Provided that is that we have contributed at least 10% of our budget to buying American armaments. Oh and it might take a year or two before they can mobilise.

THERE WILL BE MORE, MUCH, MUCH, MORE TO COME IN THIS NEW BEAUTIFUL TRAMP WORLD.

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Tramp LLLP

Posted on March 23, 2025 by john graham

Now that Pres Tramp is the biggest high profile name to join the Last Laugh Looney Party the key questions are :-

“Who is in charge?” and “What’s next?”

There is no question, the supremely confident deal maker, Pres Tramp is in charge of everything. Ever since he was elected by such a landslide majority. It was probably the largest majority in the history of elections. It was a beautiful majority, thanks to the behind the scenes support of the Last Laugh Looney Party.

Now that Britain has agreed to become America’s First State, the next step is to expand this beautiful Union by adding in the Commonwealth which comprises another 57 countries. It will be headed up by Emperor Tramp and in exchange for joining, each country will be granted a beautiful gold Tramp Hotel and an American missile base. Oh and a Tramp golf course🤡

The American Empire now covers nearly half of the world’s land surface and Pres Tramps head is on stamps all round the world. What a beautiful thing. His image is also on all the coins, except there are no actual coins, currency is all in Tramp bitcoins from now on.

Just as they used to say about the British Empire now President Tramp and his entourage of playboy girl followers can say:-

The sun will never set on the TRAMP AMERICAN EMPIRE.

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Tramp joins LLLP

Posted on March 20, 2025 by john graham

As he has often said President Tramp really, really likes Britain. In fact he would like to join the Last Laugh Loony Party and to “Make Britain Great Again”. So much so he has proposed that it becomes America’s First State. Until recently, Delaware thought it was the first state, but now it will have to move to 57, after Canada, Greenland, Iceland, Gaza and the Chagos islands all jumped on the Tramp bandwagon🤡

Prince William will become His Excellency King Willi of the ever so beautiful Empire of America. He will live at Tramp Palace, formally called Buck House.

Pres Tramps best UK buddie and forever friend, Smiling Niggle will become First Mister and chief spokesman for Clacton on sea and Mister without portfolio. His main job will be drinking for England🤡

Sir Keyer has been appointed as Chief Coast Guard since he did such a good job controlling immigration. Angie Raindeer will assume the role of Leader of the Houses, until Elon Must makes her redundant tomorrow.

President Tramp remembered that the guy with the fly away hair said some nice things about him, so he decided to make Bodj Chief promoter of lost causes. His first task will be to rename Heathrow airport as “ Tramp Landings” and build Tramp golf courses in all the National Parks🤡

All citizens of the First State will be expected to come outside on the doorstep each Wednesday at 7.30pm, when Coronation Street is on and clap for Pres Tramp and say “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you” six times.

Now that we are all Americans, we will be issued with AK47 rifles and MBGA baseball caps. The UK will be the first line of defence against Europe as part of NATO — the North Atlantic Trump Organisation.

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LLLP — Smiling Health.

Posted on March 16, 2025 by john graham

The sixth step in the Last Laugh Looney Party Smile Plan is to deal with the issue everybody moans about — NHS services and GP appointments. It has got a lot worse since Covid with longer and longer hospital waiting lists and disappearing GP’s appointments.

There is a simple solution to the GP issue — give them £20 quid for an appointment🤡 If you are really sick you will find the money; if you not that ill you won’t bother your doctor.

From the GP’s point of view — if they see 6 patients an hour, 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, that will give them £ 3,000 a week extra. That could be an additional £150,000 a year!!!! I bet that would increase the number of applicants to medical schools🤡

But, we are going to have to do something equally radical about hospital waiting lists.

THIS IS ONE ANSWER ALREADY BEING CONSIDERED🤡

A blood pressure lowering, weight loss losing, anti- menopausal, cholesterol lowering, anti-depressant, antibiotic UNIVERSAL PILL with an added nicotine patch. That should help an awful lot of sick people 🤡

AI ROBOT CONSULTANTS

If the pills don’t work then you can be referred to our all new 24 hour, 7 days a week AI consultant service. Funded by the release of all the NHS administrators now that you can book your own appointment with SPEEDY BOOKING.

The Last Laugh Looney Party has an answer to even the most difficult problems. That’s why you should vote them in with a smile at the next election🤡

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LLLP – Creativity & Innovation.

Posted on March 12, 2025 by john graham

Following on from the last three posts, which were designed to bring back smiles to everybody’s faces. The next Smile Step is set up a robust system enable people to enjoy life in a fair and humble way.

That used to be about reading, writing and arithmetic and they are still important facilitating skills to learn,but the world has moved on and AI can do things we never imagined. So understanding and using AI is the new core skill we should be teaching our children.

THE TABLET IS THE NEW BLACKBOARD.

Why aren’t all our schoolchildren given a tablet computer when they start school, just as they were given paper and pencils? Access to the internet is now an open door to a treasure trove of knowledge. Rather than being endlessly distracted by computer games, children need to be helped to discover all the new wonders of the world.

Teachers need to inspire curiosity. Encourage creativity and original thinking. Most of all they need to champion innovation. But, children won’t find it all on their own with a tablet computer or an AI friend. Half of every school week should be spent interacting with other children in team sports and music and the arts subjects.

Maybe older people should go back to school too and learn how to use computers and tell the children about the olden days🤡🤡 Things like 12xtables and spelling tests and punishments like lines and detention and the cane☹️

School days should be fun and a doorway to a fulfilling life🤡

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LLLP SMILING POT LUCK

Posted on March 9, 2025 by john graham

Following my last post, now comes the third step in the Last Laugh Looney Party Smile Plan.

After the long incarceration of almost everybody during Covid and the never-ending gloom of bad news since then, we have a new mental health epidemic blighting the nation. In 2022/23 it was estimated that 875,000 people took a total of 18 million days off work with stress or depression or anxiety.

There are various reports of the annual cost, starting with £28 billion rising to £57 billion or even £102billion; but the latest estimate including NHS costs is £300 BILLION.

The Last Laugh Looney Party’s answer to this is POT HOLES !

A new NHS sponsored apprenticeship programme for everyone claiming welfare benefits on grounds of their poor mental health.

What better remedy for your poor mental health than a breath of fresh air? AND what better incentive to getting your welfare benefits than a good days work outside?

The RAC Pothole Index reported there were 1.7 million potholes that required filling in last year.

So if everyone with mental health problems filled just two potholes a year, that would leave them time over to plant thousands of daffodils on the grass verges.

There is another SMILE🤡

No filled potholes — No benefits. More positively—- after 100 filled potholes you become a fully qualified road repairer.

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LLLP 🤡 Smiling Defence

Posted on March 5, 2025 by john graham

This is the second step in the Last Laugh Looney Party Smile Plan. President Trumper is pressing every European Government to spend more on defence. He probably means a fence between Russia and Ukraine.

Sir Keyer has flown across to the USA to explain his typically British, unique plan to kill three birds with one stone. Sir Keyer may not have mentioned that ‘he was once Director of Public Prosecutions’, which is why our prisons are now full up. His bold smiling idea is compulsory conscription for all prisoners. They will then be deployed to Ukraines border with Russia as a peacekeeping force.

To show they mean no harm they will be armed with broomsticks on which they can march up and down with placards. Messages will include:- “Up with Ukraine”; “Up Russia”; “Don’t shoot we are British”.

At a stroke the brilliantine Sir Keyer has upped the Defence budget🤡emptied the prisons 🤡 AND

The prisons can now be repurposed as 5 star hotels to house all the illegal immigrants. Unless they would prefer to be conscripted🤡

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