Reluctant Welfare Benefits

Posted on February 8, 2018 by john graham

I have decided to start a thread about welfare benefits for older people.   It may we’ll go on over several months as it is a large issue and to many people, including me, an unfathomable subject.      Nonetheless it potentially offers vital financial support to many people.

What interests me is how anybody expects older people to find their way around such a complicated system.     Or maybe, if they are the Government who is dishing out, they don’t?      The take-up of benefits is renowned for being low, especially by the poorest pensioners, who the benefits are supposed to be helping.    Various commentators estimate the under-claiming of pensioners benefits to be between £3 billion and £5.5 billion annually.    A pot of gold for the old at the end of a reluctant rainbow!

So I kicked off my research with my IPad, because all Government information is on-line these days.   A visit to the Government’s website on benefits has 5,772 pages !    That should be a quick read.

Perhaps it is not surprising, because the Government spends £264 billion on benefits every year, which is 34% of all Government spending.   Not all of it is spent on pensioners, but a lot of it is.

A graphic I found on the Office of National Statistics website gave a breakdown of the budget figures :-

  • £111 billion on pensions
  • £30 billion on Personal Social Services
  • £44 billion on disability benefits
  • £10 billion on Elderly Care Payments
  • the remainder is Housing Benefit and other benefits.

SO HOW DO YOU GET IT ?    That will be my challenge in the weeks / months ahead.    I will report on my progress each week.

 

Posted in ELDERLY UK POLICY | Tagged | 3 Comments

Banking Security

Posted on February 6, 2018 by john graham

My money is safe in the bank.    So safe I can’t get at it !

My bank card expires at the end of the month and normally a few weeks before that I am automatically sent a new one.   But this time it must have got lost in the Christmas post because I didn’t get one.   I was worried that I might not be able to buy anything from the 1st of February and that starvation was only a step away.

So I decided to ring up the helpline number on the back of the card.    This is where customer service kicks in.   I speak to a recorded message press 1 for  “ nothing I could understand” ; press 2 for “nothing I wanted”; press 3 for “ nothing in particular”.    I finally reverted to pressing 1 in the hope I might get a real person.    No such luck, I got another automatic message saying “we are exceptionally busy  right now, please wait and we will be with you as soon as possible”.   Then I got entertained with some plinky plonk music regularly interrupted by repeated messages of how exceptionally busy they were.  I nodded off for a while, eventually to be woken up by a real person.     Well not quite, it was another recorded message asking some security questions :- “please type the third digit of the security number on the back of your card”      Which I did.     It was only when I was next asked to type in the fourth digit, that I realised that I had got the third digit wrong.    Too late, they already had me down as a suspected fraudster.  I was then abruptly told, that if I hung up my card would be ‘locked’.   If I held on and listened to some more music, I could speak to a real person eventually although “we are exceptionally busy  right now, please wait and we will be with you as soon as possible”.   Then a bit more plinky plonk music!

A tune or two later the music stopped and a real person answered.   As I was half asleep I didn’t catch her name, just the thick Glaswegian accent.   She told me she had some security questions so that I could verify who I was :- name, address, post code and date of birth.   Fortunately, I knew who I was so I could answer the questions correctly.   I told her my problem and so she said “ in that case I have a few more security questions”.    None of them were as simple as my mother’s maiden name, it was more like Eggheads except they didn’t give you alternative answers.    I am normally quite good at quiz shows, but not today.    I didn’t know what bank accounts we had with them.    I didn’t know the favourite colour I had given them six years ago when I opened the account.    Worst of all I could not recall what I had used the card for five days ago.     I could tell she was beginning to lose confidence in me.  In fact the fraud squad were probably on their way around as we spoke.

My money was safe, but I wasn’t.

Then as the interrogation was drawing to a close, I remembered I bought a small fridge six days ago at Sainsbury’s.   “No that’s not it”, she said.  “But I did,  I bought a fridge”.    “Not according to us you didn’t”.   “Well OK maybe it was Argos inside Sainsbury’s“  “Sorry I have to accept your first answer”

Then she very politely explained that the system had now locked me out for my own sake and I couldn’t get any more money until I personally visited my bank with some photo ID. Preferably not wearing a mask and definitely not carrying a fire arm.

 

Posted in SMILES | 1 Comment

LLLP and Trump

Posted on February 4, 2018 by john graham

Once again the Last Laugh Looney Party has been brought back to assist Prime Minister, Mrs Maynever.     This time it was at the world leaders summit ——- the World Economic Forum at the Swiss luxury resort of Davos.     Mrs Maynever thought she might need some creative LLLP ideas to put to President Trump to help secure a better trade deal with the USA.

The first step in LLLP negotiations was to get a copy of Mr Trump’s book ‘The Art of the Deal’.    Then tell him how he must be a very clever man to become President with no political experience, just a lot of money.    Oh and his writing style was excellent, when you consider all he had written before was a few tweets.     Finally we had a special gift to reflect our special                                                         relationship ——  a years supply of hair spray.

Mr Trump seemed very flattered by all this adulation.  So then we heaped on some more  to celebrate the fact that his mother came from this country, so he was practically a British citizen.      Mrs Maynever, wishing to ingratiate herself as his very best friend, offered him —— Scotland, —— which had always been a bit of a problem for her party.

In one fell swoop the LLLP had got rid of all those caber tossing, whiskey drinking, argumentative bravehearts —— and re-secured a majority in the House of Commons, now that the SNP members of parliament would be leaving to take up a place in Washington.

President Trump couldn’t believe his good luck.   He would make Scotland the golfing capital of the free world, because everyone knows he is a great golfer, probably the best golfing President there has ever been.

Without hesitation he offered Mrs Maynowandagain a brand new better, much much better trade agreement, than any one else had got in the past.     Britain would be able to buy lots more American fighter jets for its aircraft carriers that didn’t have any and also a heap of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.

In return the USA would pay all the back tax on tea owed to Britain since the Boston Tea Party in 1773.    In recognition of their help in the negotiations, the President offered Hawaii to the LLLP to add to their Island Republic.

On his way home, the President reflected on the excellent deal he had negotiated.    Hawaii was always bit too close to North Korea for his liking and they voted for the Democrats, so it was a good off-load before his second term election.     Scotland  could be the new 51st state, and would be an ideal location for some more nuclear missiles pointed at Russia or anyone else really.

Then he thought about all the extra golf courses the Trump Organisation could build.    He could implement his hew revolutionary golf concept.    No 18th hole, instead a brand new 50 storey luxury world class Trump hotel.   Never mind all those silly rules about over development in National Parks, this would be a new land of opportunity in America’s new 51st State.

Later, when the dust has settled, he might also drop the 13th hole, because who likes unlucky 13.   That would make room for a brand new world class Trump casino.     Everybody knows 16 hole golf courses are better than 18, because President Trump, who is probably the best golfing President in the world, says so.

Posted in SMILES | Tagged | 2 Comments

Blog Koan?

Posted on February 1, 2018 by john graham

If a tweet equals 142.

How many characters does it take to make a conversation?

 

Posted in SMILES | Tagged | 6 Comments

Doggy Rush Hour.

Posted on January 30, 2018 by john graham

Every Monday is a very special day for dogs in Kilsby.    You have to get your owner up nice and early, and get out and about before the bin men come.    This is the day when everyone puts out all their rubbish.   Lots of nice smells everywhere.    It’s like doggy Christmas Day.

The big bin is too high up to reach so you have to wait until the bin lorry has been, because there are always a few titbits left on the road when they are gone.   But before the Collection, the recycling boxes are best,  their lids are open and you can see right inside.   I don’t know why grown-ups throw these things away.   The papers are great for tearing up and making a mess everywhere.    The cardboard food boxes always have some tasty scraps left in them.

The blue recycling bin is a different kind of challenge, although now I have learned how to get bottle tops off, it’s much more fun.     It has empty bottles, many which smell strongly of alcohol, must be from a grown-up party that I wasn’t invited to.    Then there are the baked bean tins, which are definitely worth a lick or two.     And the yoghurt cartons.   And the soup packets.    But, never any biscuits.  Grrrrr!

Finally, the very bestest of smells come from the cooked food waste bin.    Sunday lunches only half eaten.     What a terrible thing to throw away perfectly good food when there are hungry dogs everywhere.

I don’t understand humans, they have some very wasteful habits.

Posted in SMILES | 1 Comment

Shrinking NHS GRAND PLAN.

Posted on January 28, 2018 by john graham

Last week my post commented on the services that are being squeezed out of the NHS.    Now after a barrage of stories in the media over Christmas and into January about a ‘potential’ winter crisis a clear strategy is becoming clear.    Here are some of the emotive headlines:-

  • “Doctors left in tears over ‘battlefield conditions’’
  • “Flue outbreak feared after jabs targeted wrong strain”
  • ”Take your elderly home to free beds”
  • ”Winter crisis cripples NHS”
  • “Doctor’s used as bouncers at A&E entrances”

Just in case there might be a flu epidemic or a mysterious norovirus outbreak, the newly formed Emergency Pressures Panel have cancelled all non-urgent operations and stationed specially trained bouncer doctors on the doors of A&E Departments to turn patients away.   The Health Secretary, Jeramy Hunt and the Prime Minister, Theresa Maynot, have both apologised to people who have had there operations cancelled.  They were almost in tears, but I expect they will get over it.

Of course if there is no flu outbreak in January at least the NHS will have saved a lot of money.   Or Maybe not ?     There again, if the ‘potential’ outbreak doesn’t happen until February or March,  they may have to postpone operations for a few more months.

Wishing to learn lessons from this, the Emergency Pressures Panel is now considering shutting down the NHS for the winter to everyone except emergencies.    Providing they can get passed the bouncers and can prove they don’t have norovirus.

In the long-term, the Emergency Pressures Panel is envisaging that this could create an opportunity to close some hospitals altogether.   This would relieve the pressures on the NHS staff, although sadly some of them may have to be made redundant.   The managers will be able to be redeployed to organise the closures and redundancies, before taking golden handshakes for the excellent work they have done.

Posted in N.H.S. | 1 Comment

Weather Koan

Posted on January 25, 2018 by john graham

Another wet and wind-torn day,

the weather just won’t go away.

 

Setting the disturbed mood of awakening,

but the outlook will soon change.

 

A bright new dawn awaits.

Time to get the wind in your sails.

Posted in SMILES | Tagged | 1 Comment

The Shrinking NHS

Posted on January 23, 2018 by john graham

It doesn’t feel like the NHS is getting smaller.      We are always being told by our politicians that there are more doctors and nurses than ever.    This doesn’t seem to fit with the stories always coming out of the health service about the unrelenting pressures on them.  Nor does it square with the endless queues in A&E or the over filled beds.    And the bill for the NHS goes up and up.

Strange then that in my recent blogs I have been writing about how pills are being struck off the list of things GP’s can proscribe.   Then there is hearing loss, or more accurately the withdrawal of hearing aids in the NHS.     Oh and eyesight is looked at, but you still have to get and pay for your own glasses.    I must not forget dentistry, although the NHS has done that years ago.

Ever lengthening waiting lists are a key tactic to continue this process and reduce demand.  How do you know you need an operation if you can’t get seen in the first place to get a diagnosis?   Closing the front door and leaving potential patients out side in the cold is certainly one way of pretending there is not a problem.

The NHS England grand strategic plan for all this is to employ more managers to explain why they are able to do less and less.

Posted in N.H.S. | 1 Comment

Pill Rationing

Posted on January 21, 2018 by john graham

I seem to be addicted to writing about pills and it is obviously catching. Because as fast as I write about it more and more articles appear in the media on the same topic.  (You can read all my earlier posts by click on “Pills” in the Tag Cloud)

So the NHS is finally putting its foot down.    There will be less pills from now on,    At least on prescription.   You will be encouraged —- no —- told to go buy them yourself from the local chemist.

In future you will no longer be able to get pill for all ills from your GP. Take your itches and aches to the pharmacist first and they will certainly sell you something.   It is just a matter of time before they start doing over the counter or even on the counter heart transplants.

“I was sorry to hold up all the other customers for so long” said MILLY, “I only came in to get something to perk me up.  I didn’t expect to end up on the operating counter”

Posted in N.H.S., SMILES | Tagged | 2 Comments

Koan

Posted on January 17, 2018 by john graham

Absorbed in a book,

I could not look.

Too see the world was older.

 

Wrapped from the cold,

I did not feel.

The climate was changing.

 

If we are

too  careful.

Fear keeps us living

in our own bubble

2 Comments