Once again the Last Laugh Looney Party has been brought back to assist Prime Minister, Mrs Maynever. This time it was at the world leaders summit ——- the World Economic Forum at the Swiss luxury resort of Davos. Mrs Maynever thought she might need some creative LLLP ideas to put to President Trump to help secure a better trade deal with the USA.
The first step in LLLP negotiations was to get a copy of Mr Trump’s book ‘The Art of the Deal’. Then tell him how he must be a very clever man to become President with no political experience, just a lot of money. Oh and his writing style was excellent, when you consider all he had written before was a few tweets. Finally we had a special gift to reflect our special relationship —— a years supply of hair spray.
Mr Trump seemed very flattered by all this adulation. So then we heaped on some more to celebrate the fact that his mother came from this country, so he was practically a British citizen. Mrs Maynever, wishing to ingratiate herself as his very best friend, offered him —— Scotland, —— which had always been a bit of a problem for her party.
In one fell swoop the LLLP had got rid of all those caber tossing, whiskey drinking, argumentative bravehearts —— and re-secured a majority in the House of Commons, now that the SNP members of parliament would be leaving to take up a place in Washington.
President Trump couldn’t believe his good luck. He would make Scotland the golfing capital of the free world, because everyone knows he is a great golfer, probably the best golfing President there has ever been.
Without hesitation he offered Mrs Maynowandagain a brand new better, much much better trade agreement, than any one else had got in the past. Britain would be able to buy lots more American fighter jets for its aircraft carriers that didn’t have any and also a heap of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
In return the USA would pay all the back tax on tea owed to Britain since the Boston Tea Party in 1773. In recognition of their help in the negotiations, the President offered Hawaii to the LLLP to add to their Island Republic.
On his way home, the President reflected on the excellent deal he had negotiated. Hawaii was always bit too close to North Korea for his liking and they voted for the Democrats, so it was a good off-load before his second term election. Scotland could be the new 51st state, and would be an ideal location for some more nuclear missiles pointed at Russia or anyone else really.
Then he thought about all the extra golf courses the Trump Organisation could build. He could implement his hew revolutionary golf concept. No 18th hole, instead a brand new 50 storey luxury world class Trump hotel. Never mind all those silly rules about over development in National Parks, this would be a new land of opportunity in America’s new 51st State.
Later, when the dust has settled, he might also drop the 13th hole, because who likes unlucky 13. That would make room for a brand new world class Trump casino. Everybody knows 16 hole golf courses are better than 18, because President Trump, who is probably the best golfing President in the world, says so.