“Smile Post”

It was 2011 when I first started grumbling about the postal service.  I wrote lots of blogs about it in 2011 and 2012.  You can see them by clicking on “GrumbleSmiles Post” in the TAG CLOUD.

I commented on a politician’s promise by Caroline Spelman MP, who was then Environment Secretary, to put an end to unwanted junk mail by introducing a “door to door” preference service in April 2012.  Surprise, surprise – it never happened!

Now 4 years later the scheme has been quietly abandoned.  And junk mail has increased from 1.7 billion letters delivered annually 5 years ago to 3.2 billion items today.

All these extra deliveries add to the profitability of the postal service, but obviously this has not influenced the Government and of course, in no way is linked to the Government’s intention to sell off Royal Mail in the near future.

So, since we are not going to stop this unwanted tide of junk mail, let’s celebrate it.

Use e-mail to sign up for more junk mail, that way you will get regular visits from your friendly postie.  Then, think creatively about how to use all that extra paper :-

  • Give it to a friend or neighbour who actually wants to know about free offers, energy-saving schemes, equity release, garden centre sales, cheap holidays, Chinese take-aways, fashion catalogues, double glazing —- and all the other unsolicited post that you get.
  • Use piles of it to prop-up wobbly table legs
  • Burn it to keep warm in winter when the Government takes away your heating allowance – always providing you still have a chimney 🙂
  • Stuff it in a duvet cover and sleep under it like a tramp on a park bench
  • Put it in the bottom of your runner bean trench – always providing you still have a garden
  • There must be many more ideas we can think of (leaving aside the obvious lavatorial use)
  • If all else fails, reply to all the junk mail then you will get more mail, more phone calls and more visits!

The moral of this story is  —-  make a friend of your postie and don’t complain about junk mail, make a virtue of all the visits 🙂




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1 Response to “Smile Post”

  1. Junk Mail and paper, it reminds me of the ‘NETTIE’ and that nail on the wall, However it may block up the supersensitive modern loo, with all that gloss, hard paper which is non softernable in water. Never mind the thoughts are there, and I have used the paper and the nail in my mind for a fundamental purpose, and off course sent the message or the paper, on its way all dressed up for ‘THE BALL’ to a place of recycleabilty, and maybe for use on the land by the agricultural industry. What a load of Phoo ? What am I talking about? I am full of ‘B——-T’.
    However I do love the postie to come around and too greet them with a warm welcome, it reminds me that people make and transmit communications with love and care, and like the old BT advert years ago ‘It is good to talk’.

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