Solving the Nation’s health problems is a big challenge for the Government, but at last they have begun to come up with the start of a Grand National Health Plan.
It has just been announced that all men over 60 and women over 75 should take statins. This could prevent 290,000 heart attacks and strokes over the next 10 years. Of course there are a few side effects but the Government is not worried about that because this new blanket approach could save the NHS millions of pounds in less strokes and heart attacks.
GP’s are concerned that many more people —- it could be over 11,000,000 people — will need to see them to get prescriptions. But the Government has an answer for that too — statin dispensers will be conveniently located on every street corner, just like parking meters. They will be painted in blue NHS colours and be as recognisable as your public telephone box. It will only cost you 10p a day for you daily fix. You won’t need to see your own GP, because the Government says it is OK.
The cartoon shows my heroine Pilly Galore trying out the new system, she says “It is a lot easier to get an appointment with a parking meter”. (You can see earlier blogs about Pilly by clicking on “PILLS” in the TAG CLOUD).
As the Government learns more and more from the big friendly pharmaceutical companies, it intends to do more national prescribing. Aspirins are likely to become Universally Required Drugs by 2020. Diet pills will be compulsory for everyone over 10 stone, as soon as the Government introduces a National Maximum Weight Limit. Anabolic Steroids will be a URD for very thin people.
Snake Oil is being trialed in Swindon, with the expectation that it will be introduced into the Nation’s reservoirs in 2018, providing nobody much dies in Swindon before then.
The lesson from all this is:-
P. S. Don’t take any notice of this I have no medical qualifications, just a sense of humour 😀