Now that Prime Minister Maybe Maybenot has resigned, there are a host of candidates putting themselves forward to succeed her. All of them are competing to out bid each other by seeing who can come up with the most vote catching freebies. However their suggestions are predictably unimaginative 😩
The Last Laugh Looney Party has decided to come up with some ideas that are likely to capture the elderly vote :-
- Two weeks all expenses paid holidays on the Costa Del Sol for everyone over 60. Every month during the winter, in exchange for giving up the Winter Fuel Allowance. This should save the NHS a small fortune because it will provide improved health and better Mediterranean diets and more red wine drinking😀
- A Free Uber taxi ride to any local destination every week, paid for by cancelling all MP’s expenses and closing down the House of Lords.
- Free train passes for all retired people throughout the UK. Paid for by cancelling HS2.
- A free Healthy Food Hamper delivered to every pensioner household every week they are not in Spain. Paid for by banning all packaging except for brown paper bags.
- Free tickets to all major sports events, paid for by capping wages of all sports players to the national minimum wage.
- Continue free TV licences for pensioners, by replacing all the highly paid presenters with retired people who will do the job voluntarily.
As political parties often say—— “these proposals are all fully costed”.