Coronapop has got us all in a pickle. Nobody more so than our once bold Prime Minister Bodj. In January he was riding the crest of a Brexit wave. He had liberated us from Europe —- well almost. A dream start to his premiership. Then along came Coronapop to turn his dream into a NIGHTMARE 👿
He has been Bodjing it ever since. A phoney war to begin with, nothing much happened and he popped of on holiday. Even when he came back, the problem seemed far away in China and a bit closer to home in Italy, but Bodj didn’t panic. We had race meetings, football matches and Steriophonics concerts to go to.
It’s OK to go outside in large groups, so “the science” told us. OOPS!
Things were starting to hot up a bit when rugby matches had to be cancelled. Then all these “scientists” started to appear. Professors of this, that and the other. Obviously people to follow, except they often had conflicting opinions on which direction to go. The data was changing by the day. That dammed Coronapop just wouldn’t keep still. So Bodj took pot shots at any thing that moved. He was trying to “flatten the peak”. Or was Bodj “squashing the sombrero”, which he must have brought back from his holiday.
It is all hard to do without the right PPE. But most of us hadn’t a clue about Portly People Effigies, or Ping Pong Elephants, or Practically Perfect Exercise, or any other PPE’s. So we all went out and bought toilet rolls instead. Then Bodj told us to “Wash your hands” several times a day or more, ——- so we bought soap.
By now we were a bit more confused. So to stop us all running around like headless, infectious chickens Bodj declared we should “Stay at home”. Rather like detention at school, we had to write down one hundred times —- “I must stop buying toilet rolls”.
The next thing we know. We are all “locked down”. Apparently because “the scientists” now say we shouldn’t be gathering in groups, in fact we shouldn’t be gathering at all. And even if we did gather, we should be 2 metres apart, which is more of a g —- a —- t —- h —- e —- r.
So now we are we are hunkered down in our bunkers, eagerly awaiting Bodj’s daily broadcast on whether we should be locked down or gathering. Except Bodj himself can’t do the broadcasts, because he has Coronapop and has to stay locked down in Number 10. He had been clearly doing too much gathering. Shortly after had had to go into hospital. Probably because he had also been doing too much dithering.
Not to worry, there are plenty of Cabinet Ministers who are more than happy to play Prime Minister of the day and be onTV pretending they’re know what they are talking about. They can always bring along “the scientists “ to explain any numbers greater than 1.
Our esteemed leaders tell us they have had CLEAR strategies all along. I agree.
- Bodj started with the “ head in the sand strategy”.
- Then he moved on to “ a knee jerk reaction strategy”.
- When that didn’t work he tried “ the rabbit in the headlights strategy “.
- When the lockdown came it was time for the “kick it down the road strategy”.
As Prime Minister Bodj says “ You can’t say we haven’t had a strategy “