Coronapop Strategy

Coronapop has got us all in a pickle.   Nobody more so than our once bold Prime Minister Bodj.        In January he was riding the crest of a Brexit wave.     He had liberated us from Europe —- well almost.      A dream start to his premiership.    Then along came Coronapop to turn his dream into  a NIGHTMARE 👿

He has been Bodjing it ever since.    A phoney war to begin with, nothing much happened and he popped of on holiday.      Even  when he came back, the problem seemed far away in China and a bit closer to home in Italy, but Bodj didn’t panic.   We had race meetings, football matches and Steriophonics concerts to go to.
It’s OK to go outside in large groups, so “the science” told us.   OOPS!

Things were starting to hot up a bit when rugby matches had to be cancelled.   Then all these “scientists” started to appear.    Professors of this, that and the other.   Obviously people to follow,  except they often had conflicting opinions on which direction to go.      The data was changing by the day.    That dammed Coronapop just wouldn’t  keep still.   So Bodj took pot  shots at any thing that moved.     He was trying to “flatten the peak”.     Or was Bodj “squashing the sombrero”, which he must have brought back from his holiday.

It is all hard to do without the right PPE.    But most of us hadn’t a clue about Portly People Effigies, or Ping Pong Elephants, or Practically Perfect Exercise, or any other PPE’s.     So we all went out and bought toilet rolls instead.     Then Bodj told us to “Wash your hands” several times a day or more, ——- so we bought soap.

By now we were a bit more confused.     So to stop us all running around like headless, infectious chickens Bodj declared we should “Stay at home”.    Rather like detention at school, we had to write down one hundred times —- “I must stop buying toilet rolls”.

The next thing we know.   We are all “locked down”.    Apparently because “the scientists” now say we shouldn’t be gathering in groups, in fact we shouldn’t be gathering at all.    And even if we did gather,  we should be 2 metres apart, which is more of a   g —- a —- t —- h —- e —- r.

So now we are we are hunkered down in our bunkers, eagerly awaiting Bodj’s daily broadcast on whether  we should be locked down or gathering.   Except Bodj himself  can’t do the broadcasts, because he has Coronapop and has to stay locked down in Number 10.    He had been clearly doing too much gathering.    Shortly after had had to go into hospital.     Probably because he had also been doing too much dithering.

Not to worry, there are plenty of Cabinet Ministers who are more than happy to play Prime Minister of the day and be onTV pretending they’re know what they are talking about.     They can always bring along “the scientists “ to explain any numbers greater than 1.

Our esteemed leaders tell us they have had CLEAR strategies all along.    I agree.

  • Bodj started with the “ head in the sand strategy”.
  • Then he moved on to “ a knee jerk reaction strategy”.
  • When that didn’t work he tried “ the rabbit in the headlights strategy “.
  • When the lockdown came it was time for the “kick it down the road strategy”.

As Prime Minister Bodj says “ You can’t say we haven’t had a strategy “

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6 Responses to Coronapop Strategy

  1. Mo Graham says:

    Glad to see you’re retaining your (irreverent) sense of humour in these troubled times John. 😄

    This morning’s blog has started my day off with a good few smiles plus the odd giggle here and there (and they do say laughter is the best medicine, don’t they?). So thank you for that.

    In the meantime, keep the faith. Stay safe. Stay alert. Keep washing your hands.

    M😷

  2. Edification-Senior Manager.
    Goodness, Gracious me! Even the erudite members of this Smiles and Grumbles ‘Blog’ site are circling the wagons, and begging us poor readers to be reverent and upstanding in these times of ‘Corona Virus’, when at the moment our own senses are at ‘odds’ with the world???
    I must put on my thinking cap, as a member of the LLLP-Ragamugffin Society, and beg your indulgence, and time , if I may.
    It is now almost JUNE 1st. And the academic year for those looking forward to a University Placement or even Scholarship, may be wondering what course, halls of residents may be open? I respectfully put forward the following as a ‘ZOOM’ WEB-based foundation course one proposed by the ‘Last Laugh Loonie Party’ Education committee backed solidly by the ‘Ragamuffin Society’
    The course should last for one academic year, with Christmas and Easter breaks in the local lunnie bin, talking to the political classes, who may as of now spout stories, and aims of good intentions, but lack the moral fibre to be upright citizens leading us all into the promised Land Of the EU or economic sanctity.
    That’s the networking done, now the applied science of which we should have invited guests to fill out the term time.
    Syllabus/curriculum.
    1/ An in depth study of body languages, with physical lessons or various poses, movements and facial expressions to promote fibs/tall stories/ intrigue, of what the current policy is for another ‘pandemic’ such as ‘corona virus’?
    2/ In in depth mathematically understanding of charts/graphs/tables, and the use of colours [pens/crayons] to highlight, exactly what in formation one may wish to offer. Red having no seniority of importance. The use of a draughtsman/woman to correlate this information, with easily understood X and Y axies.
    3/ A mannerism course in how to project oneself as a man or woman of letters and scientific facts making all information believable to even an oldie or a child. An important stammerism, so that one when displaying information and discussing it in detail repeats ‘verbatim at ad-nauseam without flinching or a change in tone of voice.
    4/ An economic study of manufacture, and supply of medical aids, and how to build field hospitals, staff them and then equip them with the appropriately trained staff- How to run isolation hospitals, with lock-down features for the ill, bereaved and their families, without transmitting or encouraging emotions. Lots of hankies supplied on the NHS.
    5/ How to disappoint the voting public, and deny them the truth about the dangers of catching the ‘corona virus’, and how one could act alone in an ivory tower with the total support of a leader and a political system, that takes the mickey out of the population?
    6/ Be one self be a LOONIE, and just maybe just doubt who or whom you may wish to believe in???
    At the end of the course there is no ceremony, one may just appreciate having taken out a student loan, and left to contemplate one’s navel? Or a quiet word or two or pray with the god of one’s faith. And a quiet thought with our current leaders?
    If you may wish an epitaph then:
    ‘’’WHO is the LOONIE’’

  3. Trips
    JUST yarning with John, and Rugby, has tripped my memory bank!!!!
    Stepping back to the 13+ and scholarship to Harrogate Secondary Technical School [HSTS]. When I enrolled at HSTS for my first term, Dad as my 14th. Birthday present, with Mum.s blessing gave me/presented me with a bicycle not a racing model, as DAD wished me to sit upright and look forward while peddling the bike [MODEL WAS A NORTH ROAD UPTURN BY ‘RUDD’ WITH ROD BRAKES, AND LOW PRESSURE TYRES.] I was very grateful, and maybe a little disappointed, but not down hearted, at least I had my independence and freedom of the road. A half drop/full drop handle bars, or straight handle bars as were being promoted as a touring bike with cable brakes was maybe my dream, not a sturdy roadster, and in latter life dependable. At the same time I took my 13+ scholarship examination, I answered a school based quiz supported by the Local Council, who were promoting the then as ‘NEW’ GREEN CROSS CODE’ for Road Safety; to my amazement I was appointed to the local council team [as reserve], and the team went on for some 3 rounds of inter-council competitions all done at public meetings. For our efforts we were awarded the NEWS Of THE WORLD ‘’Knights of the Road’’ ‘ENSIGN’. A little different to the eventual winners nationally who were awarded a 14 day holiday on Roy Rogers Ranch in the USA -[That was a prize then?]. So I had my bicycle, my nowse! with the ‘Ensign’ award, now my freedom.
    The first trip out of the district with my friend ‘bagwash’ on our bikes was an observed long weekend outing From Aireborough to Scarborough and Auntie Joans/Uncle Harry’s and family [ A FAMILY we knew while in Hamburg, as Dad was serving with the Control Commission in Germany] Our trip went well.
    Then I enter a tale or saga of bike trips, that I undertook!
    Firstly ‘bagwash’ and I had a test [to Clitheroe] run for our holiday in the IOM youth Hostilling, catching ferry outward from Fleetwood, returning via Liverpool,and then home though Lancashire to Huddersfield and then the West Riding woollen towns back to Aireborough. Then work took over, and my daily trips Aireborough to Bramley in Leeds, and at weekends local trips to the Wharfedale beauty spots, or Nidderdale, Bronte Countryside, or a local town to view and admire the ‘talent’ look but do not touch!!!! He he!!!
    Then my apprenticeship, firstly the ‘RUDD’ was utilised to help me daily get from HILLMORTON to RUGBY BTH Works Where. I was sent for the summer collage shut down.. The digs in HILLMORTON were run by a robust matriarch of a certain age and wisdom, who was aware what young men would/might get up to. The Lady was no shrinking violet and if we required advice could be found most evenings in the public house opposite our digs/her abode, in Hillmorton High Street.
    Travelling from Leeds to Rugby was interesting to a past railway buff such as I. LEEDS LMS City station to Leicester, then change platforms catch the London Marylebone Train Great Central line to Rugby [Hillmorton Road station, not the LMS to RUGBY LNWR. After college I was sent to Palmers Hebburn, and digs in Bedeburn Road Jarrow! Again out came the ‘RUDD’ for my daily trips to Hebburn return Jarrow. That was the last of my bike, my sisters could not use it as it was a man’s bike [crossbar].
    Just a moment as I recall my or at least some of my books at home! I was an avid reader of the ‘BOOKs’ published by Blackie which included the Book of’ ‘’How it is Done/ Wonder/SHIPS/Nature, a few more! and my favourite Railways’’’. In this book, was a photograph of the largest overhead railway semaphore signals, and guess where that was? Yes north-side of RUGBY LNWR station, and I believe it was still their when I attended the BTH Rugby Works, or went train spotting on my week end off??? in 1960??? Before general electrification of the UK railway system.
    SO John you can still flap your arms about, I might just be able to understand your signals, but the odds may be against you if you’re a course bookie!!!!
    The end of a rabbit on!!!!! An Ongoing Virus???

  4. ps maybe the ‘Red Lion’

  5. Relations
    Just reading Johns Blog, his comments, MO’s comments, and the appeal to the LLLP Ragamuffin Society, I must become sombre, and for a while reflect in relationships of the human soul, with respect to the ‘Oldies in our Extracare Retirement Village.
    Just chatting informally my fellow residents of an average age of 80 years, I am encouraged by the warm, and respect we show to each other in this period of social isolation, as we all exit ‘Lockdown’.
    We are all still cautious respect the need to meet and yet maintain a social distance of 2 metres, and frown upon those who may consider an immediate relaxing of this social distancing. We are all of one mind to come out of this social corona virus together, and with and yet maintaining respect for each and everyone around us.
    The politicians paint the bigger picture, while we put the colours on the canvas, and bring it all to life.
    The detail may be difficult to as simulate [Graphs/tables and instructions], however I believe we all believe in the general vision to a road of recovery!

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