Now that Bodj has solved Brexit he has decided to give the irradication of Coronapop his undivided attention for the last few days of 2020.
Bodj thinks he has found a few little loopholes that all his Cabinet Ministers and all the scientists and epidemiologists and immunologists and every kind of other ologist has missed altogether.
Here are the extra new rules for 2021 :-
- Anyone who wants to can travel abroad to anywhere that will have them, but they can’t come back.
- Anyone who has had a Chinese meal between January 2019 and now, must self- isolate for three weeks, then take a test, then get in the back of a lorry and smuggle themselves into France.
- Anyone who has had a Christmas present marked with ‘made in China’ should burn it immediately and isolate themselves for forty days. This will probably be almost everyone.
- Students studying Chinese should complete their course in Wuhan and then emigrate.
- People who will not commit to going green by 2025 should move to one of the low-lying islands in the Pacific. Now!
- All school children will be given free Boris bikes and told to ride around for a year instead of going to school. The fresh air and exercise will be good for them and prepare them for their low carbon future.
- Any one whose name is Dominic and has been to Durham recently should move to a remote uninhabited Scottish island and take half the Civil Service with him.
- All the journalists who have asked awkward questions in Bodj’s zoom conferences and Piers Morgan should go and do live weather reports from Antarctica.
- Finally, Nicola Sturgeron and her grumpy Scottish National MP’s should relocate to Rockall and become ‘independent’, then they can rejoin the European Union. They won’t need borders, because nobody else will go there.
THAT SHOULD DO IT !