Saga of Europcar Hire

Posted on January 16, 2018 by john graham

In the middle of December 2017, we had snow in Kilsby.  Two days later, the snow had almost disappeared but there was still lots of ice on the roads in the village.  And that’s how this saga begins.

My car was parked outside on the road, as it always is, and just as I’m sitting down to wrap some Christmas presents, there comes a knock on the door.  It’s a nice young lady with a Christmas jumper and a bobble hat and she says – “Is that your car on the road?  I’m afraid I’ve just bumped into it.”

We both went out to inspect the damage and it was clear that she slid on the ice and the driver’s side headlight of her car had smashed into the driver’s side fog light of my car.  On both cars, the lights were broken and panels and bumpers on both cars were damaged.  The good news was the lady wasn’t injured and the damage wasn’t too extensive.

I hadn’t had an accident for years so I wasn’t totally sure what the procedure was but we swapped names and addresses and she told me the name of her insurance company.  She was keen to get to a meeting and so departed quite quickly after that.

That’s when this long tale really begins.  I rang my insurance company – SAGA – and spoke to a very nice man called Matt.  Matt told me our conversation would be recorded to make sure they captured everything.  He asked me to give him my address, my post code and my date of birth, from which he was able to confirm that I was who I was.  I recounted the story of what had happened and he  asked me to describe the lady, describe her car, describe the damage and confirm her conversation with me.  Matt then suggested that it wasn’t my fault.  Which is hardly surprising since I wasn’t in the car at the time.  Matt said this would mean that I didn’t lose my no claims bonus nor would I have to pay any excess charges. This conversation lasted for about half an hour.

Matt then passed me on to a colleague called Connor – another very nice man.  Connor works for SAGA Car Repair Company.  Connor told me that our telephone conversation would be recorded to make sure they captured everything.  He asked me to give him my address, my post code and my date of birth, from which he was able to confirm that I was who I was.  I recounted the story of what had happened and he  asked me to describe the lady, describe her car, describe the damage and confirm her conversation with me.  Connor then confirmed that it didn’t seem that the accident was my fault and that they should be able to claim all the cost from the lady’s insurance.  This would also mean that I didn’t lose my no claims bonus nor would I have to pay any excess charges.  Connor then said he would arrange for Rugby Car Care to collect and repair my car and that also he would ask Europcar to deliver me a hire car until my car repair was complete.  This conversation lasted for about another half an hour.

Within minutes, a very nice man from Rugby Car Care, who gave me his name but I didn’t catch it, rang and arranged to pick up my car.  They said because of the Christmas period it might take more time than usual to complete the repair.

At exactly the same time as Rugby Car Care came to collect my car, the phone rang and it was a very nice man from Europcar, who confirmed they would deliver me an Audi 4+4 the same day at 4pm.  So far, so good.  You couldn’t fault this excellent and expeditious service.  Later on that day, while I was in the middle of my lunch, a very nice man called Owen from Europcar, rang to say that they didn’t have an Audi 4+4 but they could deliver me a top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE, although it wouldn’t be available until 10am the following day.  Wanting to finish my lunch, I said “fine”.

Overnight, I thought about it and thought that it didn’t sound right.  A top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE was hardly equivalent to my 9-year old Freelander.  And the nice lady that bumped into me, didn’t deserve to be stung with a very expensive car hire.  So I decided to ring Europcar and change the car.

That’s where the slippery slope of Europcar begins in earnest.  The first problem was that I didn’t have a phone number for Owen at Europcar.  The second problem was that the car was due to be delivered at 10am and it was already 7am when I decided to cancel the top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE.  So I went on Europcar’s website and found their 24-hour helpline.  I rang them and spoke to a very nice man called Nicky and explained the problem.  He asked me for my Europcar reference number, but I didn’t have one.  He then asked me for my name and address, so that he could check on his system, but sadly no top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE due to be delivered to Kilsby at 10am seemed to be on his system.  Oops!  So then Nicky suggested I ring my local Europcar in Rugby and gave me their number.  Although he told me they don’t open until 8.30am.

At 8.30 I rang Europcar Rugby and spoke to a very nice lady, with no name that I could catch and having shared with her the same story, she confirmed that they didn’t hire out top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE’s and that would probably be Bristol Street Motors in Birmingham.  I asked her if she could ring them and cancel my shortly, due to be delivered, top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE.  She helpfully agreed to do this and said she would ring me back.  An hour later, I was getting anxious that the top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE would be appearing on my doorstop at any time.  So I rang Europcar Rugby again.  The nice lady explained that she had cancelled the car and didn’t ring me because Bristol Street were going to do that.  But they didn’t!

At the beginning of the following week, a very nice man called Henry from SAGA Car Repair called when I was out.  He spoke to my wife, Mo, but he wasn’t able to talk to her because she wasn’t on their system.  Apparently, according to SAGA, I am married to Morag Graham, who lives in Scotland!  This came as quite a shock to Mo.  It took a few more days and a lot of Christmas presents to get over that little SAGA bump in the road.  Maybe Morag is a contact on the SAGA dating service that I have yet to meet.

Once my marital problems were healed, Henry became quite a good friend after that and we spoke regularly over the Christmas period.

A few days later Henry calls from SAGA to confirm by car repair had been approved but they may not get parts until after Christmas.  That’s when I told him about Europcar and the top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE which I had cancelled.  He said he would follow it up with Europcar and confirm they have a car booked out to me on Friday 22nd December.  This was news to me as I had no phone call from the very nice man, Owen, from Europcar.

No doubt after Henry’s call to Europcar, Owen rang to confirm they will deliver a car on the 22nd at 10am.  A top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE.  I explained to him that I thought it was too expensive but he explained that it wouldn’t cost me anything.  Unusual that, I’m sure there aren’t many free, top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE’s around but Europcar seemed to have one and who could refuse a freebie!  Someone must pay somewhere, presumably everyone pays in higher insurance premiums.

I slept on it again and was still not happy.  It offends my integrity to take a car which is much more valuable than the once it is replacing.  Also I feel I am being hassled to have something I don’t want.  So I decided to put my foot down.  The cost didn’t seem to matter to anyone because it is on the other person’s insurance.  ONCE AGAIN, I CANCEL THE TOP OF THE RANGE, “IT WON’T COST YOU ANYTHING”, BRAND NEW JAGUAR XE.  I decided to wait until after Christmas.

Finally, in the first week in January, Henry rings to say my car will be returned on Friday and don’t forget to return the hire car within 24 hours.     I remind him about the top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE story and say that I haven’t yet got a hire car.   A day early, on Thursday, Rugby Car Care ring to say my car is about to be delivered and don’t forget to have the £300 excess ready to pay.   I explain that there is no excess to pay but they assure me there is.    I contact Henry again and he confirms there is no excess and he will email the repairers and tell them “Oh and don’t forget to return the hire car”.

Before I have hardly had time to get dressed, my car is returned.   All fixed, dents all gone, lights all working, freshly valetted and no excessive demands.   Excellent service from Rugby Car Care !

Later that day Henry rings to check I have my car back and that everything is OK.    I confirm that it is, he is pleased for me and mentions that I must not forget to return the hire car.  I think Henry has hire cars on the brain, but to be fair I am probably not his only customer and he may have forgotten.    I repeat for the umpteenth time the story about the top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE that I never wanted and never had.   “Oh!” says Henry, “if you didn’t have a hire car you have to pay the £300 excess”.

What?  How does that work?  I save you money and have to pay you more!    After a few more reminders about the all singing all dancing top of the range “it won’t cost you anything” brand new Jaguar XE, Henry talks to his boss and they agree there will be no excess in this instance.

At last the SAGA is over !

SAGA were great, I have made lots of new friends there and their service was helpful and efficient throughout this process, aside from nearly getting me divorced.

Rugby Car Care did an excellent job and my car looks as good as new and is cleaner than it’s ever been.

EUROPCAR, however, get no medals from me, they are probably the reason insurance claims are so high.  I’ll only ever use them should I want to hire a top of the range, “it won’t cost you anything”, brand new Jaguar XE!

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Plastic Fantastic !

Posted on January 14, 2018 by john graham

At last I can see my blog is beginning to have a global impact.   I am talking about all my rants about excessive packaging.    (You can see my earlier blogs by clicking on Packaging in the Tag Cloud)  Also after the last bungled election the LLLP has arranged several anti-packaging demonstrations outside parliament.

Headlines in the press this week confirm the influence we are having, although I must say, I am sad to see there is no acknowledgement of my GrumbleSmiles contribution to raising the profile of this important issue.   There is little doubt that Prime Minister Maynot has gained a lot from having the Last Laugh Looney Party  in her Cabinet, judging by the freaky ideas she is now coming up with.

Here are some of the recent front page headlines :-

Daily Mail  ———   “May: I’ll end the plastic scourge”

The Times  ——  “May wants plastic-free aisles put into supermarkets.”

Apparently Prime Minister Maynot has been shocked and horrified by all the needless plastic.    I do hope she is not losing sleep over it.  Especially  when Brexit negotiations are still on going and of course she has the man in North Korea and his missiles to think about.    But at least we will be plastic-free before we exit-Brexit and the missiles land.

Here are some of the most earth shattering ideas included in the 25 year plan (25 years is just long enough to ensure nobody can be held accountable , if the ideas don’t work) :-

  • Plastic-aisles in supermarkets.  Presumably only the plastic will be free and you will still have to pay for the goods. Oh and don’t forget to bring a bottle if you want more fairy liquid😋
  • The 5p carrier bag charge.   Will be doubled every year a so that by 2023 a bag will cost you £1.60, by 2028 for every extra plastic bag you will have to pay £54.40.   By 2043 a bag will cost about a £zillion although sadly Mrs Maynot may not be around by then.
  • Plastic cutlery and cups.    These will be phased out in Whitehall.  Apparently the civil servants in the Department of the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs drank  2.5 million cups in the last 5 years.  I wondered what they were doing all day?  And why do we need a Department of Rural Affairs?   Surely it’s none of their business what farmers do behind closed doors !
  • Wildlife site visits.  £10million will be spent to send children to see the countryside.    I am not sure what it has to do with plastic but it is a lot better than learning boring things like maths and science.
  • Finally the £13billion foreign aid budget is to be used to clean up the oceans.   The fish will certainly appreciate that!

It must have taken years and a lot of tea drinking to dream up such cleaver vote-winning policies.   Mrs Maynot’s Government is certainly getting into the Last Laugh Looney Party spirit.

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Blogging ?

Posted on January 11, 2018 by john graham

In 2017 I wrote 3 blogs a week.

A target I set myself,

but a treadmill I didn’t seek.

 

Quality not quantity

are the new order of the day.

Creativity and imagination,

better watchwords than numbers.

 

But there is something

to be said

for getting up every day

and not forgetting.

 

So 2018 maybe more sporadic

or not ?

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Second Unicorn Ramble

Posted on January 9, 2018 by john graham

We are on a roll with ideas for unicorn start-up companies specifically for the older generation.   It may not be so easy to get out and about as you used to, but what if you could virtually accompany someone for a day or more?     Following a live video link with instant text communication and feedback.    Here’s a possible new App with a suitable, geeky name.

What2do2day

A virtual shadow for just about anything legal.   E.G.:-

  • How about climbing a mountain virtually by accompanying a miked up mountaineer with a camera on his/her head.  You can encourage the progress they are making at every rest station.
  • Virtually being on board a sailing boat crossing the ocean – something that most people won’t be able to do in a lifetime.
  • Watching a potter make a pot (just like the TV “interlude” video, if you’re old enough to remember it) and this time being able to influence what they make.  Maybe even able to purchase the end product.
  • Telling an artist what type of painting you would like and then observing them complete it.
  • Going virtually on a live guided tour of an art gallery or a museum and able to ask your own questions.
  • Shadowing someone in a job for the day to see what is  involved :- A butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker or anything else you can think of.

We could have an army of adventurers and experts, all wired up and ready to go, supported by a group of sponsoring virtual followers.

Surely that must be another geeky unicorn idea just waiting to be snapped up.

 

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New Year Virtual Ramble

Posted on January 7, 2018 by john graham

This is a continuation of my ramble through Silicon Valley and stumbling on the magical mythical unicorn.    This is geekie speak which I will explain, before we start.     A “unicorn company” is a start-up tech business that reaches $1billion dollars or more in market value.      They often have meaningless names that give no indication of what they do, e.g. Air BNB, Uber, Spotify, Dropbox, Twitter, Facebook.    They are well-known and well used everyday by many young people, but are mystifying to most of the older generation.

So what unicorns might be developed specifically for the Baby Boomer generation? Beyond Zimmer frames and pills for the ill.

Here are a few fun ideas to make life more interesting :-

  • Virtual Rambling Holidays —— where you attach yourself to an intrepid wanderer who has a camera and an iPhone  to send back live pictures of their travels.      You can email encouragement along the way and even suggest route diversions to things you would like to see.   You can also ask for souvenirs to be purchased sent to you on your virtual travels.   All from the comfort of your own home.   You may wish to sponsor the wanderer to take your requested diversions or suggest they visit your friends.     A cheap and easy way to tour the world.
  • Flash Mob Pub Club ——all arranged on-line, you join a group of ‘friends’ on a trip to the pub.  A trip is confirmed if at least five people sign up to go.   Five gives you the security of knowing that at least there will be some virtual friends that you know.  Anyone who doesn’t turn up has to pay for the drinks or is kicked out of the club.   Trips don’t have to stop at the pub, anywhere people want collectively to go is an option, so long as there is a stop-off for a drink somewhere.

I wonder if either of these could be unicorn start-up ideas?  Maybe I could become a rambling billionaire.

There will be more in my next ramble…………

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A New Year Ramble

Posted on January 4, 2018 by john graham

This New Year 2018 morning I rambled, or more like stumbled, into the new world of techie Silicon Valley.    I don’t even know how I got there,  I just got there out of the clouds.  In the dim not so distant past of last year I subscribed to a Flipboard magazine called TechCrunch.    I must have been imagining I could become another overnight Silicone Valley success.      I would certainly stand out amongst all the 35-year-old billionaires.

Sadly I missed my nanosecond moment to invest in the next big unicorn.     In this time of a silver tsunami one can’t afford to miss out on a unicorn opportunity.   Maybe I am losing you a bit in all this techie speak.   Perhaps I should explain the back ground to this new dawn.

Here are a few key drivers :-

  • Baby boomers are the largest and fastest growing cohort of the US population – 4 million people extra every year, all approaching or already retired.
  • Baby boomers have 47 times more disposable income than households headed by 35-40 year olds.

And here is the link to technology :-

  • 55 million American seniors are estimated to be on Facebook.
  • 4 million are thought to play video games on-line.
  • Over sixties are the fastest growing group of on-line daters.

Silicon Valley has not really woken up to this new demographic:-

  • Apps for older people have focussed on pill reminders; automatic will generation; health insurance and home aides.
  • Most Silicon Valley company founders are under 35, as are most of their staff.
  • They are unintentionally ageist and think only of a stereotypical older generation of frail people with limited or no computer skills.

Put all these thoughts together and it illustrates a huge technological blind spot.  Maybe the baby boomers will once again be the generation that changes things.  This time in later life.

In my next blog I will look at devising some more interesting “unicorn opportunities”.

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Eat Your Greens

Posted on January 2, 2018 by john graham

What a wonderful Christmas present.   A cure to fend off dementia may be within our grasp.

A study at Rush University in Chicago shows that eating more green vegetables may stave off dementia.

The Government is always keen to find a happy storey at this festive time  and are anxious to arrest the increase in dementia cases, whiich are swamping our hospitals.

At this point the Last Laugh Loony Party intervened.     They realised that the Brexit negotiations were beginning to cost the Government rather a lot of money and the £250million promised to the  NHS after Brexit might not happen after all.      The LLLP suggested to that nice Mr. Junket that as it was Christmas he might like to give Britain some of the common agricultural policy money.

The Prime Minister having decided not to build houses on the green belt now has plans to plant thousands of acres of spinach, broccoli, cabbage, sprouts and green beans.    This new iniative will be led by the recently sacked Deputy Prime Minister, Sir Damian Green, who is evidently not as green as he is cabbage looking.

This could solve all the NHS bed blocking problems at a stroke.   Most people in the study had been eating greens for years, but the reasearchers say it is never too late to start.

😋 HAPPY NEW YEAR 😋

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Decluttering Progress ????

Posted on December 31, 2017 by john graham

This is my annual performance review of how well I have been doing with shedding the accumulation of ages.

It has been a year and 63 blogs since I started my decluttering, almost to the day.   So what progress have I made?   And how do I feel ?   Have I freed myself of the cobwebs of yesteryear ?    Have I found a brave clutter-free new world ?

The answer feels like 50/50.   Or maybe 60/40 in favour of the clutter.

I have discovered that nobody much wants my clutter.   Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised, although most of it was very useful to me when I first had it.    In today’s throw away society holding onto things is hoarding.    Yesterday it was thrifty.

 

The forest of paper and envelopes that I had in abundance have long since been made obsolete by email.

 

 

 

My beloved ties which I only half disposed of have all but been rendered useless by the fashion for open neck shirts.

 

 

My garden sheds are a success story, they are all tidier and better organised and I can’t even remember the stuff I have thrown away. I have even been inspired to have some new doors made for them next year.   Of course I will have to have another clear out  before then, because they are already starting to fill up again.   I didn’t throw away enough stuff first time around.   Too many pots, too many garden cushions and too many half-used but now years old weed killers and fertilisers probably past their fertilisation date.

 

So why do I say only 60/40 success?    Well I don’t feel unburdened.   Apart from my sock drawer that is.    Socks are simpler now even though I still have several colours and lots of black pairs and another drawer of thick walking socks.   I must do a lot more walking!

 

Perhaps that’s the secret.    One drawer or box or shed for each item.   Only problem is that I will need a lot more drawers, boxes and sheds if I go down that road.

Better to adopt a different more adventurous philosophy in later life  :-

“IF IN DOUBT THROW IT OUT !”

There will be a copy of Walt Hopkins and George Simons’ book — “Seven Ways to Lighten Your Life Before You Kick the Bucket” — for the best ideas on de-cluttering, although they have never mentioned any bear ideas in their book.

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Dentistry 2

Posted on December 26, 2017 by john graham

My last blog was about toothache and the simply wonderful way I was treated in my early years experience in the completely free NHS.   In fact I enjoyed it so much that I didn’t go again for another 25 years.

Now just as I was plucking up the courage to go for another regular 25 year check up I find that the NHS does not do teeth any more.    At least not in more than half the country and in the other half you have to go on a waiting list for 6 months —— not exactly ideal if you have raging toothache.

The NHS Choices website is a source of useless information —- it tells you that in 40% of the country dentists are not accepting new NHS patients and in the other 60% they don’t have any information.   That’s a great choice when you are in agony.

You could of course go private, but not if you are a new patient and want free NHS treatment.    Private dentists have got to keep up their standards —- of living that is.     And anyway if you have read my last blog you will know they are all called Miles or Dr Mengele.  And they don’t give you chloroform any more.     Sounds like torture to me!

Perhaps I won’t bother with that check up after all 😬

Posted in N.H.S., SMILES | 4 Comments

NHS Dentistry Toothless

Posted on December 24, 2017 by john graham

I still remember vividly the frightening trips I was forced to make to the school dentist every year.   In fact I am sure I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to this day.    I wonder if I could sue the NHS, or Hereford Road School ?    I must have a word with one of those no-win no-fee lawyers.

Every six months or so a little green ambulance would arrive at the car park opposite the police station first thing in the morning.   Unmarked so that poor unsuspecting children would not realise the tortures they were about to encounter.      I think the proximity to the police station was to deter people from escaping the treatment.      Once inside there was no getting out, you were strapped into a chair.    The dentist modelled himself on Dr. Josef Mengele, with a blinding lamp fixed to his head.    All I can ever recall him saying was “open wide” and then he tried to suffocate me with a mask and some smelly stuff called chloroform.    The next thing I knew was waking up with blood in my mouth and a hole where a perfectly good tooth used to be.

Is it any wonder that I grew up not liking dentists !

In my secondary school most of my teeth survived except for a few involuntary extractions during my reckless pursuit of a rugby ball. Then when I arrived at Sheffield University, my final dental comeuppance came when after weeks of toothache I finally went to see the doctor with a mouth full of ulcers.    I was given some antibiotics and a sealed letter to take to the university teaching hospital in a weeks time.

A week later the ulcers had gone but not the tooth ache, so I reluctantly turned up at the hospital.   I handed my appointment letter to the receptionist who opened it, smiled and sent me the sixth floor.  A much nicer welcome than the school dentist I thought.     I was surprised when I got out of the lift to find my self surrounded by teddy bears and lots of toy peddle cars.    All the patients were no more than 10 years old and they all had there mummy’s with them.    When my name was called I went into a consulting room to be greeted by another Dr. Mengele and a worshipping hoard of dental students, including a rugby playing mate called Miles, who I had accidentally hit in training only the week before.   Dr .  Mengele read out my letter to them all and they all smiled.     I  had been sent to Pedodontistry (children’s dentistry) because of my “ pathological fear of dentists”.   Very funny.    Miles was only too pleased to ‘help’ with the necessary extraction.

It was 25 years before I visited a dentist again !

Posted in N.H.S., SMILES | 1 Comment