Breakfast Exercise

I am trying to lead a healthy life now I am retired.  So I start most days with Tai Chi in the back garden.  Half an hour of light stretching and gentle exercise improves breathing and balance as well as lifting your mood for the day ahead.

My next step in this virtuous new life is something healthy and today I have a new brand of luxury toasted cereal – Lizi’s Organic Granola.  The package notes are a joy to read – I am saving the world!

The ingredients are 100% organic (all certified)

Even better – Lizi Shaw used to live in West Wales and I am helping support organic farming there!

Its slow energy release food from the good carb company in Llanelli – Yacki Da!

I am told how much to eat per serving – where are those b***** scales?

The product is “blood sugar friendly” – the glycaemic load has been measured by the world’s experts at the University of Otago in New Zealand – fancy sending my cereal half the way round the world (and back presumably) just to measure GL which I have never heard of and don’t understand.  But still the Welsh always liked the All Blacks.

By now I am feeling really good about this product – great healthy food picture on the front of the packet – even a nice photo of Lizi smiling in her kitchen on the back – and such a great story too.

Now for the challenge – opening the packet – this must be the physical and mental exercise before breakfast.  The foil bag must have been designed for Fort Knox.  There’s no obvious point of entry, no key, no clue among all the other copious notes on the packet.  This luxury cereal must be more valuable than gold!

By now all my Tai Chi composure has disappeared and my mood has turned to one of total frustration.  Surely I can’t be incapable of opening a cereal packet.  Has retirement dragged me down so soon?

In desperation I eventually find a pair of scissors – perhaps they should include a pair with every packet – although not inside the bag!

I slice off the top corner and spill a few seeds on the floor – better get the dust pan and brush before the wife sees them.  What do I do with the re-sealable packet that I can’t re-seal?  I could try and find an elastic band – but there aren’t that many hours in the day!

At last I get to the golden goods.  Grumpy, irritable and about to spoil my lunch.

P.s. Lizi, next time you write such a wonderful story about your new organic cereal, don’t forget to put the note on the top corner of the bag in BIG ENOUGH PRINT FOR ME TO READ.  I really would like to have known in advance that it’s “easy to open and re-sealable”.

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3 Responses to Breakfast Exercise

  1. david evans says:

    We have all been there.

  2. Doris Nicholls, Sheffield says:

    First thing in the morning is the best time for a stroll with my dog but I am not fully awake until I am home again with a cup of coffee. Only then can I think about breakfast and I certainly would not want to have to battle with my cerial packet. I know how you feel, I can’t read anything these days without my glasses.
    Why do they use such small print all the time ?

  3. Pingback: LLLP Brexit Packaging Negotiatons | GrumbleSmiles

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