LLLP Brexit Packaging Negotiatons

After a week of hard-fought negotiations, I am now able to give you a little bit more of the detail about our success with the negotiations on packaging.  Although I must ask you to keep this entirely confidential for the next 18 months, until all the other negotiations are agreed.

Some of our particular concerns are listed below:

My concerns about packaging were highlighted with the difficulties I had extracating a brand new excellent British product from its packaging – – – – – – a Dyson vacuum cleaner you can see my trials and tribulations by clicking on the following link: https://grumblesmiles.co.uk/2010/06/03/take-the-money-or-open-the-box/

In future all packages like this will be banned in the UK, but Mr Dyson will be free to still send his goods to Europe wrapped up so tightly that it will take many hours of the European’s time to unravel them.


My next packaging concern is “foil sealed tops”. You can see how much difficulty they are by clicking on the following link: https://grumblesmiles.co.uk/2011/02/20/breakfast-exercise-3/

Milk bottle tops used to be easy to get into but the ones they use these days seem to be welded on so they will be banned in future.

This is about child-proof bottle and jar tops. You can see the difficulties I had by clicking on this link: https://grumblesmiles.co.uk/2011/03/27/breakfast-exercise-4/

Older people need to get access to these everyday products.  Little children must keep their busy fingers to themselves!

Most medical supplies are double or triple wrapped, no doubt for good hygiene reasons. But in an emergency, when you’re in a hurry, this is not at all helpful and will be banned in future throughout Europe. You can see my problem by clicking on this link: https://grumblesmiles.co.uk/2016/07/11/getting-plastered-to-be-edited-cartoon/

Breakfast cereal packages are a constant pain.  They are always wrapped in a bag inside a box and never easy to open.  Old people don’t need this frustration first thing in the morning.  Sometimes they have tear-offable strips which are not even tear-offable.  The story behind this can be seen by clicking on this link: https://grumblesmiles.co.uk/2010/09/06/breakfast-exercise/

Some European countries will not like this, because most cereals contain their imported berries, nuts, currants, dates and grains.  All of which no doubt also come in sealed packages.


The European packing industry will no doubt be distraught by these new packaging regulations.  But they can keep them in the rest of Europe if they want to.  Meanwhile the British older people who move to the Island Republic, will be free to get on with their lives without the frustrations of UN-OPENEABLE PACKAGING.



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4 Responses to LLLP Brexit Packaging Negotiatons

  1. I have long said that I know how I will die… no longer able to open food packages!

  2. Mo Graham says:

    I clicked on all your Packaging links John and read them again. Thanks for making me laugh out loud on this wet, grey, miserable-looking morning. I well remember the couple of hours or more it took you to open the box/put that Dyson Hoover together – but my favourite has to be the Actimel blog and your flights of fancy regarding Torville and Dean. The image it conjures up of you in purple Lycra is priceless!

  3. davidwfreeman237 says:

    another looney for your collection.

    Alas dear yourath, were for art thou? Close at hand with that, safety pair of scissors-suitable for children and us ‘’oldies’’ or are you alert with that sharp ‘Jiffy knife’ ready to cut strings and toughened plastic coatings/wrappings around the many articles you allude to in the “BLOGG”.
    It is all a pain in the arse, and part of modern living: However as you wonder and wander through all the larger retail outlets, with shelves and shelves [high and low] ,plus no end of bins, plus the local grocery retailers-Have you not wished to pick up the object examine it, curse it for not being the object of desire, and then bent double or stretched too far to replace the ‘ARTICLE’, and alas through old age felt that sudden pang of discomfort, and dropped the ‘’Bl—y thing’’ on the floor, and then looked around with that guilt ridden fizzog look, and if no one is looking replaced the object/ARTICLE? I ask mischievously; “Is it broken or damaged” your reply would be or may be “spherical objects” none of your business, as you amble along the aisle. What curse now do you put on packaging, me for suggesting such a scenario, or the shop keeper and the manufacturer for protecting his/her goods as if they were treasures for the mantelpiece, and objects of desire? Rather than a mundane trade transaction between the seller and purchaser, to ensure a good buy or even a bargain.
    It is not the store or shop keeper who had that economic margins of profit, but the ‘’’wrapper upper’’ of all these items. Do you have shares in them? I think in the old days 3M the American conglomerate was a seller proprietor of packaging.
    Enough of this wittering I must away to my place of peace and quiet, and reflect on my coming of old age, with arthritic fingers, and other joints, failing eyesight, as I study the blurs, before I find my specs, and that nurse young and beautiful, who guides me through each day with joy and words of comfort, my dreamboat- the wife, tongue as sharp as any blade who can cut through my waffle and wrapping any day.

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