Our political system is completely BANJAXED by our squabbling political parties. Following on from my last blog, the LLLP has decided it is best to go it alone and unilaterally declare independence from the European Union and also from what’s left of Once Great Britain. (This is consistant with our original manifesto which was published May 2017. You will find it if you click on May 2017 in the archive).
Our deadline for this taking effect is the 1st of April and there will be no payment of exit fees. This almost certainly means we will be sued by the European Court of Unjustice, but with the help of a few elderly lawyers we can drag the case on till long after we are all gone 🙂
The Last Laugh Looney Island Republic headquarters will be based in the tax haven of the Channel Islands. So there will be no tax to pay ! Just like Amazon, who incidentally will be our new supplier of everything, since the EU will no doubt immediately impose sanctions on the LLLIR.
There’s a brave new world out there for older people, who will be young again with their hard-earned wealth and freedom in the newly founded Last Laugh Looney Island Republic. Our resolution to do this was fortified by a recent report in The Times which carried the headline —- “One in five pensioners is a millionaire”.
The report was commenting on an Office of National Statistics analysis of average household wealth, based on figures from 2016. I find it quite hard to believe that we have so many millionaires in our country and that the elderly are so well off. Of course this is an average figures which means there are many people with multi-million pound houses, mainly in London and the South East of England. The other problem is that the majority of most peoples’ wealth is locked up in their houses. The good news is if they move to the LLLP Island Republic, they will be renting their new homes and be able to use all of their accumulated wealth to build themselves a new lifestyle. The report estimates that the total wealth of people over 65 averaged £1.1m each. The combined total is £4.7 TRILLION.
This should be enough for a few luxury meals out so that they no longer have to rely on meals-on-wheels. No doubt many of them will also want to travel and the Island Republic will surely become “cruise central”.
At least for the elderly then, this endless talk of BREXIT will be a thing of the past.