At the request of Prime Minister Bodj, the Last Laugh Looney Party is turning its attention to the redistribution of wealth and tax reform, when the Coronapop is finally contained. This is a huge subject which runs into 2,734 million, trillion pages of advice from Her Majesty’s Revenue Collectors. It makes jobs for thousands of civil servants, who work tirelessly sending out incomprehensible forms and reminders and threatening letters until they get a large chunk of our hard-earned money. All so Bodj’s Government
can spend it for us.
In the meantime a host of accountants, many of whom used to be civil servants, work tirelessly for those earning most money, to help them pay as little tax as possible. That is how we end up with 90% of the wealth of the UK being in the hands of only 5% of the people.
The LLLP will recommend radical moves to change that. In stark contrast to every previous Government that has promised to stop tax avoidance and yet nothing seems to happen. So the LLLP will introduce a REPATRIATE UNHAPPY SAILORS TAX. This will be entirely voluntary 🤡
The LLLP first step will be to set a new standard rate of tax of 10%, which everyone will pay except children, ….NHS staff, … care workers ….. and …… all pensioners. This new system will be so simple that we won’t need all the civil servants and accountants,
Secondly, the LLLP will introduce a national “maximum” wage of £50,000 a year. I know people will say that would lead to a mass exodus of wealthy people from the UK, but unfortunatly that will be rather difficult for them during the Coronapop lockdown. Especially after their private jets have been impounded.
So hear comes the voluntary bit :- Everyone earning over £50,000 will be asked to voluntarily donate their excess income to the LLLP EMERGENCY RECOVERY FUND. If they don’t wish to do that, they will be given a free luxury cruise around the Isle of Wight, indefinitely until they have a change of heart.
Sir Richard Branson is one of the first passengers, now that his airline has gone bust. Closely followed by Sir Phillip Green, since he shed so many crocodile tears over having to close all his shops. Thirdly we welcome onboard Fred the Shred, the “ ex Sir”, who used to rundown the Royal Bank of Scotland. The low interest bankers👿 stock market speculators 👿 and no-win-no-fee lawyers 👿 are kept down in the lowest decks locked in inside cabins and only allowed on deck for one hour a day until they hand over their ill-gotten gains.
The LLLP rust bucket will be named HMS Fat Cat This is the first of many ships that will join the new Coronapop cruise fleet 🤡