The ruthless slimming down of Government Departments as recommended by the Last Laugh Looney Party continues at a pace.
Today it is the turn of the Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. In fact that is what it used to be called, when it did what it said on the tin and concentrated on supplying the country with all its food, but now it has had a make-over and is called “ The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs”.
Changing their name is where they started to go wrong. They must have brought in an expensive management consultant who has got them all confused. Their mission now is :- “To restore and enhance the environment for the next generation, and leave it in a better state than we found it”.
Whatever happened to the fish and food?
Some estimates say that as much as 80% of our food is imported. Farming is barely profitable any more and farmers are told to diversify into beekeeping and growing wild flowers. We are dependent on foreign labour to harvest our fruit and veg. Our fishing industry has been almost totally destroyed and fish stocks are lower then they have ever been.
It took 3,500 civil servants beavering away at DEFRA in London to do this. Pursuing their new vision of “purer air, cleaner water, making the land greener, and food more sustainable “.
You couldn’t make this up, but it is all in their Annual Report. Along with their 25 year annual plan, in which they tell us that in their fight against plastic waste, they will eliminate plastic straws, cotton buds and plastic stirrers. Thank God for that !
Shame about the floods and the water shortages that they are also responsible for.
The LLLP’s recommended script for a broadcast by Bodj :-
“ We have decided to move all the DEFRA staff to live in yurts in a field in a flood plain in Yorkshire, where they can learn to live off the land. They will no longer be paid, but they can keep the TV rights to a weekly Country File broadcast on how well they are getting on.”
FORECAST SAVING = £ 2.1 billion.