LLLP. INVESTIGATES DCLG

  As Coronapop sweeps through the country culling the weakest, so to does the Last Laugh Looney Party weave its path through Central Government Departments weeding out inefficiency and ineffectiveness. Just  ten more areas to examine, but potentially £ billions to be saved.    Civil servants are scurrying for cover.   They are socially isolating, which comes naturally to them, they don’t like public scrutiny.

So now its the turn of  …… the Ministry of Housing … which was for a while the Environment Department ….. but at least for now is the DCLG …. the Department for Communities and Local Government.   The schizophrenia in the name is reflected in the fact that there have been  ten housing ministers in the last ten years.    The latest is Robert Genryk, who got into a bit of trouble Recently for going to one of his several homes during the lockdown.    Then having ridden out that storm,  he found himself back in the headlines for chatting to a housing developer who just happened to need planning approval for a contested housing scheme in London.
The fact is that housing has never been much of a priority for Tory Governments even though they huff and puff about it a lot.    The reality is they are tied up in their own Green Belt.   There is a desperate shortage of housing, but that boosts existing house values, so there is little incentive to increase the supply of new homes.

The 1724 civil servants at the DCLG, whose declared aim is to “improve access to affordable and high quality housing”,  have achieved very little.   In 2018/19 they had a target of 300,000 new homes, but completed just 220,000, of which only 47,000 were affordable.
They did claim credit for the “£675 million High Street Fund” and you can clearly see how well that has done by all the empty shops.     So they then doubled down on that investment with the “£1.6 billion Stronger Towns Fund”.    Another great idea that came to nothing.    No wonder the Ministers keep moving on.

The LLLP script for Bodj next broadcast is :-

“ I am tightening my Green Belt, so there is no room for more houses, just trees and wild flowers.   That means we won’t need any more housing Ministers, which is just as well because most of the Cabinet have already had a go.     I am hoping that after Coronapop there will be quite a few spare homes made available, which won’t cost the Government anything, which is a World Class Achievement.”

FORECAST SAVING.      £ 36 Billion

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2 Responses to LLLP. INVESTIGATES DCLG

  1. Oh! You naughty LLLP and your representatives? Do you spend all the time on the ‘throne’ listening and reading every word, or are you”;Straining at the thoughts ”of more love notes between the HMG BODJ and his public. Excuse me I have a water shortage and must flush the toilet, before the recent floods/showers make the sewage works overflow into the ‘GREEN RIVERS’ and out to sea past the @Green Beaches@. It is all effluent?? or is that affluantcy? Money to throw away!!!! ????? Humbug!!!!

  2. Alas dear ‘Yourth” all is not plain sailing on the oceans of life. We live in a ‘padded cell[s], and have been told to ‘work from Home, so we are going as a society [CWS- Cods-wholop and socializing}, and all those town center offices are threatened to be’ shut down’ So dear sirs where is the investment in the construction industry coming from?
    To provide homes warm and comforting, or No New Homes but office blocks, and transport to the far reaches of each cohabitation, or center of what We at the moment understand as commerce.
    The likes of the Internet have cast a spell on the modern commerce, and many of us may work for an offshore tax haven-NB Not the Palace of Westminster. We are all on shaky ground, and maybe suffering from a ‘Knee trembler ‘ from an immoral lady, just for a few moments of pleasure???

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