Brexit looms and Coronapop is still at large, so the Last Laugh Looney Party has advised Prime Minister Bodj to call a General Election. It is time tor a fresh start. This is particularly urgent because in my last post he sacked all the MP’s and the Lords 🤡
However, organising a General Election won’t be easy at the moment, when R is soaring upwards. Unfortunately, because of the new Coronapop rules Bodj has just introduced, there won’t be any political meetings larger than SIX. Nor any shouting or loud cheering. Nor any hand shaking or holding babies.
Another problem would be the length of the socially distanced voting queues, given the 2 metre rule. Oh! and the time you would need for hand washing and disinfecting the pencils. Not to forget the testing, tracking and tracing all the voters. Of course if after a few days, when the test results came back, anyone standing in the ten mile long queues turns out to be positive, they wold have to go and self-isolate for fourteen days. Unless it was a false positive or even a false negative. In which case the Marshals would take them away for questioning about how many people they had met in the last three days.
We mustn’t forget all the elderly Bodj voters who he has told to “ Stay at home ! ”. Many of them have been isolating since forever. Maybe Ocado, Waitrose, Sainsbury’s and all the other delivery drivers could collect their postal votes the next time they drop off their Bodj emergency food parcels.
Then finally, there are the regional variations, which are necessary to make the Nations that make up the UK feel different and their politicians feel very very important. In Wales they want to vote with a red pencil and put a tick rather than a cross on the voting paper. In Scotland they want to vote two, three or four times until they all agree they want to be independent. In Northern Ireland they want to fight first about what they are voting about.
Having thought about it, Bodj decided to change his mind and that maybe this is not a good time for a General Election after all.
So he has asked the Last Laugh Looney Party for another idea next time, when his Coronapop head is less muddled up.
THAT IS THE NEXT POST.