£1,000 Lock Inn !

Coronapop is still raging around the country, in spite of the Governments second lockdown and Bodj’s Churchillian exhortations on TV to “ Fight the virus on the beaches”.    The trouble seems to be that infected people are still going out and not doing as they are instructed by the Test-Track-&-Tracers to “STAY IN”.
The Stay Home Secretary- Pretty Aweful is intending to fine all the law breakers.   That is provided the police can catch them.  Let’s hope they are better at it than their record with other criminals.

In the meantime the Ill-Health Secretary – Matt Cock-up is considering offering people who test positive a £500 bribe to stop in, but he is not clear how this will be enforced.

The Last Laugh Looney Party has a bolder idea.   Now that money is no object, why not make it a bonus prize of £1,000 tax free per week until they test positive again.    Hoards of people will be running to see their GP to get tested and it will only cost a piddling £ billion a week.   Of course there would have to be a guarantee of compliance.     This could be easily achieved by learning from the Chinese and boarding up the houses of infected people after throwing in two weeks supply of Markus Rashford food parcels.   That should get the R number down to Q or even P, in no time at all.

Problem solved !     Everybody tested and after two weeks you have your “Dead or Alive “ answer.    It seemed to work in Wuhan 🤡

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7 Responses to £1,000 Lock Inn !

  1. Alas dear Yourath as Shakespear would quote”” they are BACK? THE LLLP, In all their Glory, led, and not leaderless by the ” good disciple John” praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!.
    I am in the pub drinking, and then undertaking my correct english course and doing all my P’s and Q’s in the voting and motions passed in the lockers in the gentlemans convenience? As they do in westminster, with their unisexed loo’s and thrones in the house of lords? Have they passed a bill, or done an act today in government? It may be all lockdown confined to ones constituency or the stump in the farmers field or village, town, city from which they pronounced the future for us all?? But firstly broadcasting their intentions in the MEDIA TV RADIO and the PRESS,!!! ONCE the words are out, and the opinions from the masses are considered, Moses BODJ returns from the mountain with lots of arm waving and sheafs’ of paper, modifying the original visions??? What a SODS OPERA, as those in the armed forces may state, and are we are asked to believe in and vote for?? Are we indeed all QUEERS in the widest sense of the word?? I just wonder?
    Now then dear John your title to this piece blog offers £1000 lockdown, i beg to modify your view on this subject? I have on rare instances, been back in writing to my local MP THE RT. HONOURABLE BEN EVERITT ! Explained my concerns, had a polite but considered response for information?? THE DOWNSIDE IS MY WORDS WERE ON THE WEB and my email address was recorded? So now the illustrious and regal Consevative party seen me emails of all and sundry of the exploits of the Tory party and especially personal messages from Boris, and his many cabinet ministers. Lately the chairman of the Tory party have enquired of me or informed me that the Tory party needs financial support, and can i donate in the most grandest of manners?? However today ,, sorry yesterday the vice chairperson of the conservative party announce that i was invited to join in for the donation of a £1= one pound= a month a sure winning draw of £1000 –thousand pounds? And an explicit message of enjoyment to join the ==BLUES= now and dance and sing all the way to my bank?
    So i ask John politely, does your £1000. Have any meaning? Or is Bodj renageing on his promise???

  2. Kt is all chinese and hyrogliphics to me??

  3. I just wish i could sit in my locals lounge bar, enjoy my bitter shandy pint, and chatter inainly to my friends, neighbours family and friends?? Alas i am typing on my tablet, messages in stone, while i go up the wall, talking to the mirrors, the four walls, and repeating to my self the chimes oF my “” cuckoo clock? Cockoo cockoo coockoo?? I am not mad just yet but getting there, please take me away you lovely LLLP???

  4. It is all in a lockdown,?? Will some one open the curtains on to the stage and let the show commence with a joyous life and with humour and lots of fun, please???

  5. Advesrseity in times of hardship, and the true human spirit!!
    This afternoon after luncheon, Molly and I switched on the magic box? And engaged the channel “netflix” for an afternoons lockdown companionship.
    We browse the numerous titles and came across an ‘ aussie’ film titled -penquin bloom- running time one hour 35 minutes!
    The tale was emotional, based on a true story an events, and wonderfully portrayed! The basic story was of a young family of 2 adults and 3 children aged 14 to 7. The eldest child a daughter. The aussie family went on holiday to Thailand,, while there the mum suffered a fall from/off an upper balcony, and suffered hospitalisation and a broken back, rendering the mum unable to walk!
    The eldest daughter blamed herself for the events running up to the accident! They all returned home to aus!
    The eldest daughter felt as an outcast within the family group. During the nesting season she came across a nestbound injured magpie, and took it home to love and care for! Asking her mum if she could wheen and keep the magpie, which the family choose the name ” Penquin”
    Here the story develops, the bird initially is house bound, regarding the family as its mother. The mother of the girl comes to help the daughter and her Penquin relationship, and the bird- penquin the magpie learns to fly.
    The mother overcomes her feelings of inadequacy, learns to live as normal live as possible, swimming kayaking , and becoming self surficient within her own terms. At this time they visit a relative some few miles along the coast taking Penquin the magpie with them! Penquin during a meal break goes into a tree within this garden[some miles from home], and is set upon viciously by the local magpies- and as the story reveals magpies are very territorial. Penquin flies off hurt,
    The family return to their home,, and the eldest daughter and the mother in front of the whole family, blame each other for the mistrust and loss of love: both from the elder daughter, and penquin from a daughter mother persecpctive. Feelings are running high emotions are out of control! However as a family, they each one of them mum, dad and each child resolve their personal misunderstandings.
    Did penquin come back? In the film , yes metophorically, yes?? No one person is an island?
    A most pleasant afternoons viewing in this corvid-19 epidemic!

  6. It is saturday 30th january, no special day, except our next door neighbour christine is 89 years young today. The weather? It is cloudy and raining, i am out of my mind! In this severe lockdown, which we are presently required to abide by to preserve life?
    I must go for a minute, and talk to the 4 walls, then ask the mirror on the wall who am I? And fineally stand in front of the cuckoo clock going “” cuckoo” in response to the ‘dickie bird’, who asks the question, so many times a day? Wonderful.???
    I have now just reflected in the blog’s i have responded to messers ” smiles and grumbles” and realise with distinction what a load of “” clap-trap=”” i may have posted, but i assure you all i have had fun doing it?
    Now for today i woke up at 04.00 for a jimmy riddle, stumbled came to my senses and my head was full of the song”” big rock sandy mountain, and the lively 1950’s music that goes with the songl however, as i climbed back into bed my mind played tricks, and the song i was enjoying was not such! In the chorus line, i slept most fretfully, eventually the land of nod beckon me? At 07.30 the alarm clock went off! I woke up in a haze, and the phrase of the earlier song had not left me! Then eureka i remembered the chorus “” on the big rock candy mountain”” !!!! Absolute success. I have no idea who or whom sung the song, or if it came from a film, or broadway show? Never mind i was happy and at ease with myself, and the big day of alzimers is maybe round the corner, but my mind in not yet playing tricks on me?? Not while i can express my thoughts on this wonderful blogs, and recall the days of ‘ Big bad John” as the ceo of extracare and all the ideals he installed in the oldies to fight life and enjoy it?? Which in these days of severe ” lockdown” requires patience and perseverance!!
    Thank you John! With all our hearts!

  7. Burl ives is the edition i most remember, rather than bing crosby,. According to the web it is a folksong in american music memorabilia, never mind , i thought and still believe it is a great song with wonderful harmony.!

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