Last weeks post saw the Last Laugh Looney Party proposing to lock every one in the UK in their houses, to combat the spread of Coronapop. Now because the R number is not coming down fast enough there is a new change to the rules to stop any more pesky variants of the virus being brought in from abroad. Which is where it came from in the first place .
The LLLP proposes that from midnight tonight everyone arriving in the UK without a lorry load of vaccine is sent back to where they came from. They then have to stay away until there is no “R.” in the month, because we have got too much “R” already.
Celebrities going to their second homes in Monaco or the Caribbean can leave on their private jets whenever they like, but they won’t be allowed back until they have tested negative ten times; been scrubbed down with disinfectant; been sealed in a anti-virus suit and finally, they will be required to bring back vaccines for 1,000 people and lap top computers for 100 children. Oh! And not forgetting PPE for the NHS. They must then isolate on a remote Scottish island for six months and be lectured to by the always right Ms Sturgen at 9 am each day.
To prevent people from finding their way back illegally in little inflatable boats, the Home Secretary -Pretty Awful – has started to erect a defensive wall on all the south and east coast beaches which will be patrolled by a Daily Mail force of Track and Trace volunteers. She has cunningly code named the wall “Flood defences “ to hide its real purpose of keeping out illegal immigrants.
The Health Secretary – Matt Cockup – has declared the Isle of White as a new Nightingale Hospital / Detention Camp to be used for anyone who breakers the Covid rules. Dominic Cummings is appointed as it’s first Chief Executive/ detainee / patient.
The Education Secretary- Gavin-a-bad-day Williamson – will join them on the island to re-educate the in-mates before they become out-mates.
Prime Minister Bodj said the is a ground-breaking, world-beating, moonshot of an idea and he anticipates sending some more of the Cabinet to help soon, no later than the 15th of February, or maybe early Spring, or late Spring, or definitely the Summer probably.