The local election season is nearly upon us and all sorts of aspiring politicians will be putting forward their thoughts on how they will change the world. So the Last Laugh Looney Party is floating a few random proposals to see if any might be taken up. Starting with Bonny Scotland.
Since the establishment of regional Governments, the Scottish Parliament has been a persistent irritation in the UK. What’s more they have had the benefits of the Barmy formula, which gives them more money per person than the rest of the UK. And yet they still bang on about leaving the Union and joining the European Disunion. How ungrateful can you get !
So the Last Laugh Looney Party proposes we have a trial separation for one year and let them pretend to be independent to see how they get on. With a few conditions :-
- All Scottish Nationalist Politicians must change their name by deed poll so they can be clearly identified. They must all have a fishy surname like their leaders — Cod … Herring … Hake … Mullet ….. Snapper …. Flounder …. Trout …. Carp …… Barrcuda. …. Eel …. Grouper ….
- All those elected should always wear kilts.
- All unemployed Scots, which will be most of them if they leave the UK for good, should start rebuilding Hadrian’s wall —— by hand just like the Romans. We will need a hard border if they vote for independence.
- And they had better have wind farms everywhere once the oil runs out.