Boris has been having a Coronapop time out thanks to test and trace, but this has given him space to think and he has come up with a uniquely cleaver idea to level up Britain.
It fulfils his promise to the North and may also solve the Scottish independence problem. What a master stroke !
It is all based on “latitude”.
Bodj has decided to pay people more by increasing the minimum wage by £1 for every degree of latitude you live north of London.
Here are some examples :-
- Say the minimum wage in London is £10 / hour
- In Milton Keynes it would rise to £15
- In Birmingham it would reach £20
- Liverpool and Manchester would be £30
- Glasgow and Edinburgh £50
- the Shetland Isles would be £80
Bodj thinks this would have the have the effect of moving large groups of people northwards in search of higher pay and cheaper house prices. To add to the momentum the London weighting of pay would be abolished and all Government Departments would be relocated several degrees further north.
Scotland which would have the highest rates of pay, would probably be resettled by grateful voters who would tip the balance in favour of keeping the Union.
Bodj did all the calculations on the back of a fag packet, but thinks it will only cost a few billions. It will be implemented as soon as Boris comes out of isolation in a few days time. He can’t think why anyone didn’t come up with the idea before.