This is the next step in BODJ’s GRAND PLAN. It’s all about the money, which has never been Boris’s strong point. Rushi has been spending it like water and now he has run up £trillions of deb, he has become more popular than anyone.
Boris needs to rescue the Nation from over ambitious politicians and become the most popular one again. So he has come up with his own financial rescue plan. It is all his own work. His very original thoughts. He should have all the credit. Or is that debit? Boris is not quite sure which is which.
Before spending anymore Bodj thinks it is best to save a few Bob, although this is definitely not another austerity plan. Here are the first steps to a GRAND, recovery, levelling-up, building up better, global Britain plan :-
- Scrap HS2. Nobody wants to go to London anymore.
- Scrap Heathrow’s 4th runway. Nobody wants to fly anymore.
- Scrap the new Royal Yacht. Commandeer Phillip Green’s to cover an unpaid tax bill.
- Scrap the BBC grant and the license fee. That’ll teach them!
- Scrap the House of Lards. That will sort them out and save a fortune in expenses.
- Scrap the Regional Governments. Boris can decide everything for everyone.
- Close 50% of all Civil Service departments overnight and the rest of the staff can continue to work from home or MacDonalds if they need to be public facing. Selling off all the offices will save £trillions.
- Close down 50% of prisons and release all criminals not guilty of violent crimes or drug offences. They will be tagged and dressed in pink tutu’s so they can serve out their sentences as apple pickers, potato pickers, fruit pickers and in the winter rubbish pickers. They will have to camp in tents wherever they work.
THAT’S BODJ’S GRAND FINANCIAL PLAN , for now, which should save a few Bob. Until he has another great idea 🤡