Coronapop Soap Opera

There is a new Must-watch soap opera on the  box every day.     It has wiped all its competitors off the screen by requiring them to social distance and isolate all actors over 70.

So now we have a fresh group of characters who could be scooping up all the British TV awards this year.    The initial problem is that they were largely unknown to the general public, before Coronapop came along and threw them into the limelight.     Previous appearances were limited to the BBC parliamentary channel, which only extremely bored people watch on rainy days.

Obviously everyone knows the main star – Bodj – from his celebrated performance hanging off a zip line at the Olympics several years ago.    He only had small parts after that as Foreign Secretary in Mrs MaybeMaybenot’s Cabinet.

Now as Prime Minister Bodj, he is still playing the role of court jester, as he announces a new strategy every day in the fight against CORONAPOP.

The supporting characters are less well known.    Here are some of the emerging “stars”:-

  •  Health Minister – Doormatt Handwash – who only has one pink tie, praises everyone endlessly,  feels grief for everyone who has passed away and everyone of their relatives and always looks like a rabbit in the headlights.
  • Money man – Richie Havesomemoney – who just loves to give away £billions and make people happy.
  • Slippery Micky Grave —- Right about all the things he is not responsible for and solidly behind his colleagues, until he is not.
  • Dominic Draab —- who finds no difficulty living up to his name.
  • Pretty Hopeless —- assertively, angry about everything, but important —self-important.
  • Happysnaps. Transport Minister —- who just seems happy to be here now that all the transport has been stopped in its tracks.
  • Gav “the child” who talks like a preacher at a temperance meeting and will grow up when he leaves school.
  • Whitty twins — two conjoined grey suited grey people who are expert at saying nothing and making it look intelligent.
  • Jenny “um” — who is a nurse or a scientist or both, but who displays her uncertainty by prefacing every thought with an “um””)
  • The cameo extras — these are anonymous cardboard cut-out experts, who are rolled in occasionally to divert attention to their specialist subjects — policing, health & safety, testing or not testing.  They rarely speak and nobody asks them questions.
  • Dom the puppet master — the backstage director, who never knows if he is cummings or going.

It is a low budget production with just three props —- three lecterns for the daily sermon, which are  bulletproof and reflect questions automatically,   with advertising slogans for the would-be shogans..

Audience participation is provided by a gaggle of irritable journalists,  whose every question is tinged with vitriol hoping for tomorrow’s headline.   They zoom in and out, with the on /off button controlled by the politician of the day.   Sometimes if they ask an especially hard question, they are never seen again🤡

The 5 o’clock time slot used to be called children’s hour, which is probably why they talk to us like children.


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5 Responses to Coronapop Soap Opera

  1. what an orchestrated bit of music reading this is? Dickens would not have known what he was doing? or writing about/? As for Walt Disney. or the other cartoon characters of the 20th. Century, they do not hold a candle, or light up the ‘EXIT’ signs in the Hourly news cinemas of the 50’s 60’s Where a repetitive show was screened al day.
    But Hey! why worry BODJ and his magic circus is in town for some 5 years, and we need some := entertaining’s, edification and information to be spread around, as is the Motto of the august BBC proudly pronounces? However we have a secret. society the LLLP with common sense as its token beliefs, and we ‘lock up all gullible fools? who may not listen, at the same time having a laugh at the lunatics!!! Ha1 Ha!

  2. It is sunday/fathers day, and to cheer me up, I am off to the local citadel to listen to the tambourines and ‘Band Of Hope’ -‘THE SALLY ARMY’ possibly play two of my favourite tunes -1/- what a friend we have in Jesus, followed by -2/- Onward Christian Soldiers, with my foot tapping and hands clapping as I think of BODJ and all that he could achieve in his reign of 5 years????

  3. The old adage of ”I go to the foot of our stairs”, Have I heard it all before?? Never by BODJ, but then the ‘ring master’ of the town circus {Billy Smarts or Chipperfields] had many a clown, and that famous one in my youth CoCo, could make one laugh unashamedly, or have tears at the ridicule of the situation or saying as presented.

  4. Mid=summers nights dream- William Shakespeare??
    Today is 22 JUNE 2020 we are the first morning after the ‘Summer Solstice’ and heading for Mid summers day day. As Shakespeare wrote all those years ago, about a court jester, we in UK society are not lost we have today a chap called BODJ, a blondie! Nice fellow, but slightly lost in the ups and downs of our own Westminster Politics, as a nominated leader, however decisions defeat his good intentions.
    Never mind on this bright and beautiful morning, the sun streaming in, inviting us to go out and enjoy, what ever it may be today??? At present with my cup of coffee, cereals, and apple, I am laying back in my easy chair just dreaming, before I go and pick up today’s newspaper-More Krap??? maybe!!! I am on a mid summers visit to a town of my youth-Yeadon/Leeds, and at 07.00 getting excited as all the registered pensioners in Yeadon will be meeting the 14/17 coaches for their annual [freebie to them] trip to a seaside town. Redcar/Whitby/Scarborough/Bridlington/ Cleeththorpes or maybe Fleetwood, Blackpool. Or St. Annes, or even Southport. Each coach has a leader from the Charities, who greets, introduces the driver, and the days events, and leads in sing songs along the way. The 14/17 coaches set off travel to their allotted destination for the day, after an hour and a half of frivolity the coaches pull into a halfway house- toilet stop, and the leader of each coach brings out trays of beverages and soft drinks [no cost to the passengers]. After about half an hour the 14/17 coaches set of or the seaside destination. On arrival, with the towns approval the coaches stop on the prom! Allow the passengers/oldies dismount and walk the prom and penny arcades. The Oldies are free to move at random where ever they may wish. The leader has given then, while travelling to the seaside, the venue where they are all to have tea [3 course meal- of which fish and chips is the main choice, with bread and butter, a cuppa and an ice cream to finish off.]. After tea about one hour and a half the oldies are given half and hours freedom, and instructed to be at the allotted prom position [on arrival], to re-board the coach for home Yeadon, stopping on the way back for a toilet stop at the same as the mornings toilet stop. On arrival in Yeadon the Coaches in a numbered formation stop at the top of the High Street, there to greet them [Time 20.30/21.00] the Yeadon Brass Band, and this band leads the coaches down the high street playing all jolly tunes to Morrisons Car Park here the Chairman of the Council welcomes everyone home, and thanks the organisers and drivers for a safe and fun day out.
    This freebie trip to any registered old age pensioner in Yeadon is the climax of a years voluntary events, where the Yeadon Charities, produce a pantomime, coffee morning and bring and buy sales, and many more events to raise cash and develop an interest within the community for that memorable occasion.
    While I maybe pushing the boat out for my neighbourhood of youth, I in my dotage am not forgetting John and his friends and colleagues, who developed the ideas, and philosophies of the ‘Coventry Church Trust’ into the ‘’EXTRACARE CHARITIES TRUST’’ registered in Coventry, building as they may call them or and Retirement villages, in which, one, I am a very happy and contented resident with Molly, my wife. The Extracare Trust does not only provide accommodation- a home for life! But if you may wish lots of actives for the body and mind to enjoy, and that trip out on the ‘Orient Express’ or the seaside, and pleasure beach???? it is all fun, with responsibility, what one puts in one gets out!!! Companionships, neighbourliness, security, and lots of smiles!!! Not a grumble in sight! Just sunshine, especially today, the day after the summer solstices.

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