Oranges might slow down Dementia.

I wrote a lot about dementia the early days of this blog.    ( You can see all the posts on this subject by clicking on Dementia in the Topics List).      I rather gave up after writing about the umpteenth miracle cure that was just around the corner —- berries of every colour and size, bottles of red wine, exercise for the mind and the body.   All recommendations were carefully qualified with the need for further research.    Yet we seem to be no nearer to defeating this awful disease.

Some of the research was itself quite confusing :- “either learn Gaelic or eat garlic or do both and double you chances of improving your memory”.    Some was more compelling :- ” eat nuts or go nuts ” 😀

Meanwhile the number of sufferers is increasing dramatically as the population of older people not only grows significantly,    but also ages.    The percentage of people with dementia increases rapidly as people get older.

In 2010 there were estimated to be 35,000,000 sufferers worldwide.   In Britain there were thought to be 822,000.   The ageing of the population will turn a tidal wave into a tsunami that will overwhelm health services in the years ahead.    Researchers at University College London and Liverpool University expect the number in England to jump by 60% to 1.2 million by 2040.    In the  UK that could mean 1.9 million.

Now back to the old messages.    Researchers at Tohoku University in Japan have found that citrus fruits seem to inhibit memory loss.  Their study suggests that eating an orange a day might prevent the development of dementia.

So more oranges and more research are needed fast.

 

 

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Dementia won’t go away !

Dementia is definitely one of the diseases of the day.   If not the disease of the day.   This is not so much dementia week, as the dementia era.

It is an illness which nobody really understands and for which there is no known cure.    Nobody wants to talk about it.   It is the elephant in the room in the heads of many older people as they get older.   Out of sight but in the mind.

Forget something, forget anything and you have taken a first step down a very slippery slope.   You will probably diagnose yourself long before anyone else.      Although almost everyone else suspects, once you have passed the age of sixty.   Memory lapses that would have gone unnoticed in earlier years, now are evidence of your imminent decline.

Except, they may not be and the world may be writing you off too soon.

There is a lot of confusion about confusion.    I have been writing about dementia ever since I started this blog.    (You can see all my earlier posts on this subject by clicking on Dementia in the Topics list.)

Now for the good news for forgetful older people.   Headlines on the front page of The Times on Tuesday4th July 2017 :-

“Forget about memory lapses: they’re good for your brain”

This is a report about  research at the University of Toronto, about neuronal transience.  With a name like that it is little wonder that so many people haven’t heard of it.   Still it is very important.    Apparently, and I quote from the report ” We think an important part of being intelligent is about forgetting the details of past experience”

That explains everything, I am not going nuts at all, I am just super- intelligent, along with lots of other older people 😀

 

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Last Laugh Looney Cabinet Minister Appointed

Now that the LLLP has officially joined the Cabinet, we have to go through an induction to the newspeak world of Cabinet responsibility.   This means we have to use one, or preferably more, of the following phrases in every speech or interview:-

“Brexit Means Brexit”

(This is whatever you want it to mean.  So nobody will have any idea what we really mean.  Including us.)

 

 

“There will be no turning back”

(We’re sailing into the great blue yonder, with no real idea of where we’re going.   So we won’t be turning back, but we may go all round the world and end up where we started.  Let’s just hope we’re not on board the Titanic!)

 

“We have listened to the people”

(But that doesn’t mean we have to do what they say after they elect us, so that’s ok then)

 

 

 

“We will help the just about managing”

(Although we won’t be very clear about what we mean by “just about managing”)

 

 

 

“We will protect the poorest in society”    

(This includes all the poor people in Scotland who already get free education and free social care.  But please note this quote is not to be used in conjunction with the quote about “just about managing”, nor the quote about “taxing the rich”.)

 

 “We don’t believe in taxing the rich”

(Because that includes all of us politicians and that wouldn’t be fair.)

 

 

 

So for the next 18 months, whilst Brexit is being negotiated, no Cabinet Minister should use any other phrases than the ones listed above.      So remember:-

BREXIT MEANS BREXIT

And we’ll keep saying it until we exit

Or don’t!

All other Last Laugh Looney Party communication beyond this point will only be done by occasional Cabinet leaks.  Which of course we will deny.

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Last Laugh Looney Party – Cabinet Minister

The Last Laugh Looney Party has had great success in  negotiating the acquisition of all the Islands, who have now joined the Island Repubiic.     This has been helped by all the ageing multi-millionaires who have moved their bank accounts to the new Republic because of it’s tax free status.      The Island Republic is now the fifth largest economy in the world and has relegated the U.K. to sixth position.

Prime Minister May has offered the LLLP a cabinet post advising on economic and elderly affairs.        We are thinking about it.

If the Ulster Unionists can be given £10 billion, the LLLP  must be in for at least £1 billion plus a few Islands.   So on that basis we will accept the cabinet post until the end of the Brexit talks.   This should be fun😀     An announcement will be made in Downing Street today.

Our first piece of advice to the British Government would be to be rather more respectful to older people.    No longer to treat them as a burden but to give them due recognition for the contribution they made to bringing up their children and building such a good country for them to live in.        It didn’t happen without a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

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Last Laugh Looney Party Overseas Territories

Following the demise of the British Empire, the Last Laugh Looney Party, is not quite sure what British Overseas Territories it still owns.  But whatever, it has decided to claim them for the Last Laugh Looney Party Island Republic.     I have currently got my old stamp album out and I am looking at where they may all be.

Certainly the British Virgin Islands would be worth having because of all the money deposited there by UK citizens trying to avoid tax.

Anguilla, Bermuda and the Cayman Islands would definitely be worth adding to the Republics island portfolio because they not only have nice beaches, but a lot of banks to look after everyone’s money.

The Cocos Islands is also something we would like to acquire as John’s Dad was there in the war.  Although I am not sure if they were ever part of the British  Empire.

Saint Helena is way out in the South Atlantic and includes Ascension and Tristan Da Cuna.   They have nice stamps but virtually nothing else.   Still it was a good place to imprison  Napoleon for a while.   We could use it again to reintroduce transportation of all politicians who say nasty things about old people 😀😀😀

Then there are the South Sandwich Islands, they must be part of the Subway chain.  We will have them for lunch.

The British Antarctic Territory would be a great acquisition just in case all the mad scientists are right about global warming.    There are 70 scientists  there right now trying to prove it!     The only problem is that if it gets too hot there might not be too much of it left.      It will have all melted !

It’s probably a bit too late to claim back New Zealand and Australia but it’s worth looking at.   Especially if the All Blacks can be recruited to join the Leicester Tigers en masse.

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Last Laugh Looney Party Greek Islands

As the Brexit negotiations became more difficult, the European Union has demanded that Britain take responsibility for all the bankrupt Greek islands, including Corfu, Crete and half of Cyprus; plus a few other islands with unpronouncable names and occasional volcanic eruptions.     This will pay off most of the £100 billion British financial settlement with the EU.

In turn the UK Government has agreed to transfer the Greek islands, debt free, to the Last Laugh Looney Party Island Republic.

The Last Laugh Looney Party Island Republic with its Cunard ships, Virgin planes and trains and Greek islands, is now the largest tour company in the world.

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Last Laugh Looney Party – Brexit Update

To say that June has been a bad month for politics would be an understatement.    The 2017 General Election threw everything up in the air.    Does Brexit really mean Brexit?

Who knows?

The politicians are all trying to look like they know what they are doing making firm statements, which are then contradicted the next day.   Government Ministers appear on tele every hour of every day trotting out scripted phrases and ducking and diving difficult questions.   They all succeed in looking like a bunch of headless chickens.

The opposition parties are all busy trying to claim they have better ideas.   But again, who knows?

And these are our leaders !

The Last Laugh Looney Party is now as sane as everyone else.

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Last Laugh Looney Party Monaco Negotiations

As the Brexit negotiations proceeded, the Last Laugh Looney Party Island Republic began to be noticed by other smaller countries.  Monaco had always had difficulties establishing itself as an independent country within the EU and therefore voluntarily offered to join the LLLP Island Republic.      Negotiations over the issues were smoothed by the fact that many older British millionaires lived in Monaco.     Thanks must go particularly to Ringo Starr and Dame Shirley Bassey who were delighted to be back in Britain again now that it was tax-free.

There was however one significant problem.    The LLLP were less keen to accept Sir Philip Green as a resident.    It was finally agreed to accept him in exchange for his £500m yacht which would be used in future to provide luxury holidays for older pensioners around the Mediterranean.     The old sailor David Freeman has been appointed Captain of the newest Last Laugh Looney Party yacht.      Sir Philip Green remains on the yatch working in the boiler room.

 

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Last Laugh Looney Party Coalition with Falkland Islands

As part of a tidying up exercise, the British Government decided to transfer responsibility of the Falkland Islands to the Last Laugh Looney Party Island Republic.  Prime Minister Theresa May, saw this as an chance to relocate all the older politicians in the House of Lords from Westminster to a place where they can be less trouble in future.  The Conservative Party, with only a small majority in Parliament, saw this as a golden opportunity to complete the Brexit negotiations with far less trouble.

The LLLP were happy to accommodate the 600 or so Lords and Ladies, plus a few bishops provided they live on South Georgia.   This will save the UK a lot of money by reducing their Lordship’s expense claims and maybe they won’t have to spend so much renovating the Houses of Parliament 😀

The move will take place as soon as the new elk skin robes are ready and the portakabin debating chamber is completed.

 

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TILLY – Sparks of JOY

This is a tribute to Tilly, a Cockerpoo who stole my heart.   Her owner was Gill who is a neighbour of ours and a very close friend.   From day one, Tilly became part of our family and a big part of our daily life.   The photographs immediately below are of her when she had just moved into Gill’s house at about 8 weeks old.

 

 

This is Tilly as a six-week old pup before she left the litter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is her striding out on one of her first walks with real determination in her eyes. She’s already beginning to take control and let you know who’s the boss!  The lead is for her to pull you around, not for you to stop her going where she wants to go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

These are some of the memories and images of her that will bring joy to me every time I think of her :-

Poo Bags:-

Not having had a dog before, I wasn’t familiar with the idea of poo bags.  Now just about all my trouser and jacket pockets contain a poo bag.  You quickly get the idea of who’s in charge when dogs go round pooing everywhere and their so-called masters are the ones who do the clearing up behind them.

Licking:-

Licking is evidently a form of doggy friendship.  Tilly spent ages trying to lick my ears while I defended myself with both hands.  She then decided that licking my hands was a reasonable compromise.

Gardening:-

Tilly loved to be out in the garden, exploring amongst all the plants, chasing the birds and most of all trying to catch the squirrel which became a lifetime ambition.  She loved to pick up small garden tools and chew the handles to the point where they were almost unusable afterwards.  Most of all she would mischievously steal garden gloves. Her horticultural contribution was to leave decorative yellow patches all over Gill’s beloved lawn.

Treats:-

Tilly was a well-behaved dog but at about 6 months old we decided to take her to obedience training classes.  I think these classes was as much about training the owners. Tilly quickly got the idea that good behaviour meant more treats.

 

Jumping on the furniture:-

In the early days, Gill decided she would be a strict owner and have rules for Tilly which included no jumping on the furniture.  That wasn’t Tilly’s way and the rule went out of the window quite quickly.  Tilly decided this sofa was hers during the day.

 

 

Tilly also thought she liked to sleep on the bed at night in spite of Gill’s strict rules.  Not exactly a dignified way of sleeping, but a good way to get your tummy tickled.

Tilly rules OK!

 

On Holiday:-

We went on several seaside holidays with Tilly and she loves being on the beach, although she didn’t at all like the idea of getting wet.  She would run around the beach at 100 miles an hour.   She loved to chase after other dogs until they turned around, at which point she hightailed it out of there.

Walks:-

Most days I would take Tilly for a walk, either around the village or through the fields.  She was my personal trainer pulling on the lead to make me go faster, eager to see around the next corner or over the next style.  If I sat down to rest she jumped up on my lap to get a better view.

We developed our own highway code which meant at every road junction on the command of “stay”, Tilly would pause and wait for the command “OK” at which point she would frantically run across the road until the fully extended lead pulled her back with a sharp jolt.  Sadly these commands didn’t work on anything other than roads.

 

She was also happy to chase after a tennis ball when out for walks, but she didn’t like the idea of giving it back when she got home.

 

 

 

Meeting People:-

Tilly loved to meet people.  She liked and was liked by everybody.  She was especially pleased to see “posties”, because Sue, the local postlady, always used to give her treats. That meant Tilly chased after red vans and everybody in a postie uniform expecting a reward.

Sadly she passed away during a routine operation this week.  She was just two years old.  😂

There is a tear in my eye now but a spark of joy in my heart every time something reminds me of her.

GOD BLESS YOU TILLY

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