Good morning Doctor

I am sorry to bother you again, but I seem to have a recurring problem with my clutter disorder.   You may recall that when I came to see you four years ago, you  prescribed a shed for my  condition.   (You can see my previous symptoms by clicking on the Archive for January 2012).   Sadly my shed is now full of even more clutter and in spite of repeated efforts on my part the clutter will not go away.  

Goodness knows I have tried.   In 2013 I  got rid of  a lot of socks and ties, but now my sock drawers are overflowing again and I do miss those ties 😂.     See my blog ”  Clutter-head” by clicking on October 2013 in the Archive.

I made another brave effort only two years later in 2015, when I thinned out all the kitchen drawers and cupboards.   Remember all those useless, unused gadgets I had accumulated  — I still don’t know what many of them were for?    Then there were the half full bottles and long past their sell-by date cans  —-  I have not missed any of them.     That was a colossal effort, which seemed to help for a while, but gradually the  drawers are full to bursting again and the cupboard shelves are double stacked so that things regularly fall out when you open a door.

Dear Doctor, I think this cluttering must be a bug of some sort or maybe a virus, because it seems to keep coming back.    You will see from my blog in October this year, that I think I might have Pig Pen’s Disease, have you heard of it?    Do you know if there is a cure for PPD?     If you don’t have an answer could you please refer me to a specialist, because my problem has been going on for years and I do not seem to be getting any better.

It may be best if you could refer me to a de-cluttering specialist.  I don’t know if you can get them on the NHS?  I really don’t think another shed would solve the issue, although I must thank you for trying.

Yours sincerely, from the bottom of a heap of clutter

John

Last week my blog was about how clutter seems to hover around me.    I accumulate it daily without effort, it’s an unwanted skill I have acquired over the years.    I am not a hoarder, that would be a compulsive condition I might be able to get medical help for —— Obsessive Accumulating Disorder (OAD), more commonly  known as “Pig Pen’s disease” . Nor am I a collector, there might be some merit in that, who knows I could be on Antiques Roadshow in the years ahead.     But, my stuffs not valuable it is just stuff.

So now we come to my rugby boots.

Not too many Rugby players, at 69 years old, still have their boots clean – well, almost clean – and ready to go, but I do.    Just in case, after my glittering career in Syston Thirds, I get a last minute call from Wales to play in the Autumn Internationals, or maybe I could just sit on the bench at the Millennium Stadium.   I am sure I saw a scout on the touchline  30 years ago at Syston and surely he must have seen me?

Therein lies my whole cluttering problem.   Letting go of my memories and wistful unfulfilled dreams is difficult.    I have kept those boots for years, first in my wardrobe and then for the last 20 years in my shed.   Ready to go on a Saturday as soon as the phone rings, or perhaps these days it will be a text message — oops— maybe that’s why I missed it?

Instead of cluttering up my shed, if only I had been more realistic all along I should have thrown those boots away years ago.

It’s obvious I would have to buy new brightly coloured boots if  the call to represent my country finally comes.

I haven’t thought about clutter much recently, except every day when I am looking for something, —– which is most days!    I haven’t blogged about clutter for even longer, in fact it was 2013.    (You can see the posts by clicking on ” clutter” in the Tag Cloud )

• Living a simple life is difficult to do unless you are ruthlessly efficient at throwing things away.  EVERYDAY.
• It requires complete and constant concentration on the question —————-                  ————— “DO I NEED THIS ?”
• It applies to everything ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.  — The next thing through your door – news papers, letters, flyers, junk-mail,  obviously not people, or at least most people😄  I am not forgetting emails,  but at  least they are up in the clouds until they rain  down one you one day.
• But also, everything that has come through your door in the past that you did not throw away at the time and now fills up your drawers, your cupboards, any spare shelf space, spare rooms, attics, the garage, all the sheds in your garden and even space in friends garages.
• You can even hire storage space in a warehouse to keep things you might need in the future.
• It sounds like the house is untidy — it’s not.    The clutter is hidden away.
• But it is there, I know it is there and it bugs me  from time to time, when I remember it, or when I can’t find something I know I have put somewhere,but don’t remember where😟

I am going to have an all out attack on my clutter and  clear the clouds of clutter dust that are engulfing me.   It won’t be quick, it won’t be easy, it will take time and determination, there will be setbacks and anguish along the way as  I discard accumulated bits of history.

But I can do it.

I know I can.

Well I think I can.

I will start tomorrow.

Or maybe the day after?