GrumbleSmiles

This post is all about Bodj’s world leading approachch to climate change.   He decided on this after he met the 5 year old Nobel prize-winning Greta Young Bird, who seems to know everything about it.

He will inform the  Nation in tonight’s TV broadcast, which he fully expects to go global, because it is so ground breaking.   here is a preview of the script :~

“ I have learned a lot from Greta and all the other children who demonstrated alongside her, whilst skiving off school.     There is no doubt that the climate is hotting up,which is why I have asked for everybody’s temperature to be checked when they go in a shop or a restaurant or on a plane or in fact if they go anywhere at all.      Anyone whose temperature is over 97 degrees in England, or 97.5 in Wales, or 70 degrees in Scotland or Ireland will be required to quarantine for six weeks until they cool down.   It is lower in Scotland and Northern Ireland because they have a pre-existing condition of being hot headed.

We need to get people back to work so we will start by building reservoirs everywhere and harnessing hydro electricity, as well as stopping all the flooding every year.      The prisoners in all our jails can dig the holes by hand and all my former Cabinet Ministers can help them, because they were good at digging holes too.

Next we will build windmills all along Hadrians Wall to take advantage of all the hot air that blows down from Scotland.   That should stop Nickola Stergeron from huffing and puffing all the time.

Now for the MASTERSTROKE that is the lesson I learned from the Coronapop lockdown.      Pollution was down, road accidents were down, consumption was down,  travel was down, carbon emissions were down, the pound was down, almost  everything was down thanks to Coronapop.     Even my poll ratings are down☹️

After my great success with Boris bikes in London and now that I have brought everything else to a standstill,  I had a light bulb moment 💡     I am introducing my very own, totally unique, green as green can be, BODJ CARS 🤡.      They will be powered by electricity and have a maximum range of twenty miles to ensure that nobody goes more than ten miles away from home.    Also, they won’t have any headlights, so everyone will have to be home before dark.      That way we won’t need any more lockdowns.

I have every confidence this idea of mine will catch peoples imagination all around the world and help defeat Coronapop everywhere.

So please vote Bodj at the Election and I am counting on the children to nominate me for a Nobel prize for climate change.”

My two previous posts began to map out the Bodj manifesto for the next General Election.    In my next broadcast to the Nation I will tell you my thoughts on education.

“ I learned a lot from the lock down period earlier this year, when schools were working with far less teachers and our Universities stopped doing anything.   Results improved in spite of my hapless Education Secretary – Gavnotmyfault.   Most teachers stayed at home doing nothing and I think we should let them carry on doing that, although of course we won’t be paying them.     The teaching unions argued that schools shouldn’t go back to normal, so now they have what they wanted🤡

In future the new socially-distanced schools will operate at one third capacity and for the rest of the time pupils will work from home.    The results will no doubt continue to improve if teachers estimate them.   That should save us quite a few £billions in not having to pay for all those surplus teachers.

Our world class universities miraculously managed to send all the students home and still give them degrees.    So from now on remote learning will become the new norm in an expanded Open University, that will replace all other universities.   Students will no longer have to do all that drinking and partying and demonstrating.   Another fortune saved 🤡

Colonel Tom says he went to the university of hard knocks and he did OK.   Markus Rashford said he did alright playing football.    The Last Laugh Looney Party commended  Bodj on his masterstroke of educational reform, which should make all young people really good at reeding, rioting and rithmatic and they will all have first class degrees.       Coco just wagged her tail at the thought of more children to play within the park.

Bodj said I think the children will particularly enjoy not having exams and going to skool a lot less.   So in another great  Bodj innovation, I have decided to lower the voting age to FIVE.“

Bodj wants to tell children if they can’t read the voting paper just put a cross against his picture 🤡

This post follows on from my last one, where Bodj has sacked his whole Cabinet, all the MP’s and the House of Lords.      So it is going to be quite quiet in Westminster for a change.     While he waits for Coronapop to pass the second wave and for the Brexit deadline to reach the eleventh hour resolution, all he can do is wait.

In the meantime he has gathered around him his few remaining friends :-   Colonel Tom, who can advise him about raising money; Markus Rashford, who knows what it is like to be hard up and not go to Eaton; the Last Laugh Looney Party, who can see through the Government red tape and Coco, who is a Cockerpoo with more sense than all of Bodj’s previous Ministers.

This band of brothers has to figure out the manifesto for the forthcoming general election and Bodj will broadcast it to the nation in a series of 8 pm fireside chats.   There won’t be and TV debates because that Keyhole Stammer is a bit to sharp for his own good and Nicky Sturgeon is a bit fishy.     As for the other two —- well who are they?

We are going to talk about security, health and education.   Plus technology and climate change.