GrumbleSmiles

While all our politicians have been away on holiday in sunny Spain, the Last Laugh Looney Party “Daft Ideas” have gone down a storm through October.  You can clearly see the influence of the younger voters, which is magnified by their superior ability to use mobile phones 😀 for voting in referendums.

The free ice cream policy has been a great success and the Happy Hat Days have lifted the country’s mood.   People are smiling at each other again.    The next fun referendum questions are :-

• Should all Premier League footballers be paid the National Minimum Wage, including Gary Linaker ?
• Should the school/life balance be more fairer for children, say starting at 10 am and coming home at 2pm with two hours for lunch and one hour for playtime.    And summer holidays should be longer, say starting in April and going through until bonfire night ?    With all of December off for Christmas and a start back in the New Year say on the 31st January.     That would be fairer for children !
• If adults are paid to play football,  why shouldn’t children be paid to go to school ?
• And shouldn’t they be paid an extra transfer fee when they move to secondary school ?

Come to that, why shouldn’t parents go to school instead of children, after all , they are the ones who can’t use computers and mobile phones and Facebook and Twitter and instagram and all sorts of gadgets that they keep asking us about?

WE NEED MORE CHILDREN IN THE LAST LAUGH LOONEY PARTY.   OUR MP’S ARE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN, SO WHY NOT HAVE REAL CHILDREN IN PARLIAMENT 🤡

With the help of the LAST  LAUGH LOONEY PARTY and their superior crazy negotiating tactics, Bodj has now got a deal with the European Union.   After only three years of discussion it looks exactly like the old deal, in fact is is the old deal and we are still tied into Europe.

Still all is not lost, Bodj came back to the UK in triumph and after a promised General Election he steamrollered the Brexit party, Ukip, the Green, the Lib Dem remainers, the SNP, the DUP, half of the Conservative party and Uncle Tom Cobbly.   The Labour Party remained in opposition, mainly to each other.   Jeremy Corbit was vanquished to his new role as Public Toilet Caretaker and keeper of manholes.

But that wasn’t the end of this storey, the EU Commissars were so impressed with Bodj’s negotiating skills, that they unanimously selected him as the new Life-time Supremo President of the European Super State.    Bodj modestly accepted this new position and stated that his reign would not be a dictatorship, but because he had all the good ideas, it would be more of a spectatorship.    His people just needed to look and admire.   He would lead like Churchill only better.

President Bodj was so confident of his own ability that he resolved to do away with all the other country presidents in the EU and make them all countryCaretakers just like Mr Corbit.   His first goal is to make sure that the European Super State, hence forth known as “Bodjland”, will have the cleanest toilets in the whole world.

President Bodj has invited his new best friend President Tramp to come on a state visit to Bodjland  and see some of the very clean toilets.   Together they will celebrate tarif-free Freedom of Movement throughout Bodjland.

THERE WILL BE MORE🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

This post follows on from my last blog and is the second option in the Last Laugh Looney Party once and for all, never to be repeated, Grand Decider European In-Out Referendum.   This is a complete reversal of the last three years of political bickering and envisages Britain fully committed to being in the European Super State.

The All-In Option.

• For a start we would switch to the Euro, at the exchange rate of ten Euros to the pound.   This is the price Mr Barmy and Mr Tusk are offering to get Britain on board the European gravy train.   This should encourage even the most fervent “ leavers” to vote “ YES”.
• From January 2020 Bodj will become the new European Super President and henceforth the 1st January will be called “Bodj Day”
• Next, from 1st January 2222 we will all start driving on the wrong side of the road.   Of course The European Commisars will have to introduce a car scrappage scheme and give every UK car owner a brand new top of the range BMW or Mercedes 🤡
• With his new super powers, President Bodj will introduce new laws to require all Europeans to speak English at all times.
• President Bodj will issue European arrest warrants to any football or Rugby teams that beat any British team in future.
• Sadly Mr Corbit won’t be able to be the UK  Caretaker Prime Minister, but Bodj generously agreed to make him the UK Chief Caretaker with the job of keeping all the public toilets spotlessly clean and the manholes polished, which he is so keen on.

THERE WILL BE MORE FUN FROM PRESIDENT BODJ IN THE WEEKS TO COME!

Are we in or are we out ??????        Of Europe that is.

The deal that is being cobbled together by Bodj and his new friends in Europe – Mr Barmy and Mr Tusk seems to be a half-in, half-out hokey-cokey, shake it all about solution.   We seem to be paying a lot of money (£39 billion) for very little change.

So before things are finalised, the Last Laugh Looney Party has two other options to consider :-

The All-Out Option

• Just say Bye-Bye, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu, Adios, Ciao and 22 more goodbyes.
• Buy no more foreign cars from Europe.  We will just have to drive around in Rolls Royce’s or Jaguars.
• Buy no more French, German, Italian or Spanish wine.   With climate change, we will soon be able to have vineyards all over the UK, except for Scotland, where they can drink Irn Bru instead.
• Buy no more foreign food.   We survived through the war and were healthier.   We can “Dig for Brexit” and all grow our own veg.   Then have cottage pies, steak and kidney pies, non-chlorinated chicken pies and chips, lots of chips.   Oh and baked beans.    But no sprouts, we will send them all to Brussels.
• Buy no more continental holidays, especially now we don’t have Thomas Cook anymore.  We can revive Butlins and Pontins holiday camps.   Won’t that be fun😀
• Bye bye to all the politicians who wanted to stay in Europe, they can go and live on the Costa Del Sol, if the Spanish will have them.  Or maybe they will have to go to a refugee camp in Calais until they can be resettled in Turkey or Rumania, or one of the other 26 states that they like so much.

     THE “ ALL-IN OPTION”  WILL FOLLOW IN MY NEXT BLOG