Pangolins popped up
in a TV quiz today
so I know
they haven’t gone away.
“Pangolins live in Asia
and what other continent?”
“Africa ! “. I said,
because it was in my head.
It just goes to show
from nearly a year ago,
with all that walking-head chatter,
Pangolin premonitions matter.
GrumbleSmiles blog outpourings over the last eight years have been a loosely linked series of issues all related to my years of experience working with older people and my own Age Rage :-
PACKAGING
I started writing about this subject not because of environmental concerns, but because you can’t unpack things ! In the interest of the longevity of products, particularly foods, everything now seems to be double or tripple sealed, which presumably gives it a much longer shelf life. This is all very well for retailers, but it’s not at all convenient when you think about the longevity of some of their older customers. Poor eyesight and arthritic hands make opening many packages a real challenge. The temptation to use a sharp knife or scissors can make opening some packages a real hazardous activity. Packaging is certainly not age friendly and in the long term, goodness only knows, what the waste plastic and cardboard is doing to the planet.
CLUTTER
After a lifetime of accumulation and a reluctance to discard or waste anything, lots of older people find their lives surrounded by clutter. Of course it’s not always called clutter, many things have sentimental value and are regarded as treasured possessions. The problem is, it’s not easy to draw the line between what you really need and what is nice to have. Therefore you usually end up with too much of everything. Then it gets in your way. You can trip over it, move it from shelf to shelf, stack it in drawers and cupboards, put it in the attic, garage, cellar if you’ve got one and generally just forget about it. The trouble is, in my case, the clutter is on my mind, but I have been so ineffectual about reducing it 😤
PILLS
Pills and ills are a daily subject of conversation for many older people. The everyday aches and pains of old age are usually addressed with a tablet or two, or a swig of medicine or a liberally applied ointment. GPs and pharmacies exist in profusion to feed this appetite for cures. Whether this works or not, who knows, but we still keep taking the pills.
FRUIT
It used to be that “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”. But now it appears we all have to eat at least 5 pieces of fruit or veg a day. I guess that’s vegetarian inflation.
I doubt my blogs on these subjects have changed any behaviours, including my own, and I’m sure I will still be writing about them in years to come 🙂 🙂
This is a continuation of the LLLP solution to the current Brexit stalemate.
The stumbling block in the Brexit negotiations seems to have been the “ backstop”, or perhaps it was a bust-up, or more likely a buckstop. The Last Laugh Looney Party answer is not to bother with an agreement at all, then we don’t need a backstop. SIMPLE 😀
Having banished all the politicians to foreign parts they can huff and puff all they like, but it won’t change anything. The LLLP Caretaker Government will not rush into anything for a while, they will wait and see how Europe responds to Britain closing the channel tunnel. This will provide a cooling off period, which should help with global warming.
The next step will be a series of LLLP Weekly Referendums, open to all UK citizens over the age of ten, except for politicians stranded abroad and criminals living in Spain. Here are some of the first questions :-
Our politicians are never going to be able to answer these key questions so the LLLP will ask the people to vote by phone each week, (just like Strictly ) and the results will be announced on TV on Sunday night and be implemented on the following Monday.
THERE WILL BE MORE LAST LAUGH LOONEY PARTY “DAFT IDEAS” TO CHEER US UP IN THE FOLLOWING WEEKS.
Our hard working, dedicated MP’s have got themselves in such a tizzy over leaving the European Union. The Last Laugh Looney Party have decided they need a break. They are all obviously all in such a confused mental state that they keep changing political parties, shouting insults at each other, threatening to break the law, whipping each other and even upsetting the wonderful pipsqueek speaker – John Berk Oh.
A parliamentary public holiday through October was booked for the whole lot of them with Thomas Cook. Off they all went to the Costa Del Sol to join the rest of the criminals. The very sad thing is that Thomas Cook went bust when they were over there and now they will have to stay there for a while. Rather ironic, since most of them wanted to stay in Europe anyway 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
In the meantime the LLLP will stand in as a caretaker Government. Their first new law, which is effective immediately, is to require all entrants to Britain to have an entry visa, this includes any MP’s who happen to be on holiday.
Since there will be no “negotiation “ with Mr Barmy of the EU Commission, we will just have to automatically “crash out” on October 31st. That will please Bodj who will no doubt apply for a visa to come back to Britain in triumph. Sadly that won’t be possible because the second law the LLLP passed, which will be called the “No Surrender Law”, requires all politicians to be repatriated to a detention centre, -sorry Butlins holiday camp, on the Isle of Skye, where they can have an extended holiday until January 2020, or 2021, or even 2222.
Then the “Buckstop Clause” will kick in.
SEE TOMORROWS THRILLING EPISODE.
Pangolins live on a diet of ants,
which is generally quite boring.
So sometimes they try new things
and fish was recommended.
Down to the river bank,
rod in hand.
The pangolin meandered.
But fish don’t give up easily
and angling can be an effort.
Pangolins don’t like hard work.
So they often end up snoring.
That pesky Pangolin is in my waking-head again.
It’s not clear where he comes from,
Or why or when.
It must be because it’s raining,
That is obviously what brings Pangolins out.
So here he is again.
This time the Pangolin has got a mandolin.
A rather strange juxtaposition.
Now for the Pangolin rendition :-
”Ants for breakfast and ants for tea.
Ants for dinner and ants are free.
That’s the story of ants and me.”
Bodj has now been deemed to have acted illegally over poroguing Parliament. All his “friends” are jumping on the bandwagon and instantly calling on Bodj to resign.
The lawyers have had their say and now we all have to pay. Legal eagles have put our politicians back in the playground to continue squabbling.
The Last Laugh Looney Party needs to come up with some even more daft ideas to move the situation forward. HERE ARE A FEW THOUGHTS :-
And it didn’t !
When it comes to BREXIT everybody is now getting on the bandwagon. The latest group are the legal eagles, eager to prove they are not above the law, in fact they are the law. And they all get paid handsomely for stating the obvious. So the Last Laugh Looney Party has decided to tell them what the obvious is to help clarify things with regard to BREXIT.
First of al Prime Minister Bodj wants to stay in Europe with a deal, or without a deal, or if it has got a “backstop”, then it has to have “no borders”. While Opposition leader Jeremy Corbblers doesn’t know what he wants, except it is definitely not what Bodj wants. So there ! And they have all been fighting about it in the playground, called Parliament for the last three years
Meanwhile the Nationalist party’s are all going home with their bats and balls, or is it cabers, leaks and shenanigans. Oh and the Liberal Demons are collecting up all the defectors in the hope that they can get on tele and look important. Then don’t forget the Green -there is only one – she is sanctimoniously right about everything and will vote against anything unless it’s a change in the weather.
The actual Brexit party, who started the fight in the first place, don’t have any MP’s, so they can’t play in the playground.
The Supreme Cart of Judges and QC’s in wigs and bathrobes justly has to sort this out. A bit like Gary Linacre and Alan Shearer on Match of the Day.
”Was Bodj within his rights to prorogue Parliament?” Yes say the Cart they have been doing it for years.
”Should Jeremy Cobblers call for a General Election?” Yes say the Cart, what a good way to sort things out peacefully.
“Then we can start a new fight in the playground !” Says the Last Laugh Looney Party.
A step is a step too far for many older people. Well it can be when it is a step up or a step down. Stumbles, tumbles and falls are an everyday hazard of later life.
It is not often the drink that does it, it is more likely to be the rug on the floor that you trip over. Or the flip flop, flip-flops that make you flop. Or the step without a handy handrail. Or the bad lighting. Or just bad eyesight. Or a shuffling gate. Or carrying a tray that obscures your view. Or a wet bathroom floor. Or a moment of inattention. A distraction that leads to an accidental path you never intended to take, off to A&E !
The Homes for Later Living Consortium published a report recently that suggested that over a million older people will visit hospital after a fall. In fact the number is growing and by 2032 it is expected to be 2.5 million at a cost to the NHS of £2billion a year.
The Centre for Ageing Better found that making small changes can make homes much safer for older people. Simple aides and adaptations, like grab rails and ramps, can reduce the incidence of falls. 90% of retired people live and want to remain in their own home, so adapting the houses should be the first step to making life safer.
A handrail is much cheaper than a hip operation !
Today I woke up with a POPINJAY,
not literally I might add.
But I don’t know where he came from
and that was sad.
Just a forgotten word in my mind,
lost in the mystery of times past.
Floating to the surface
for one last word.
It’s a dandy man.
or it’s a bird
chased by arrows
through the narrows of my mind.
GrumbleSmiles 