GrumbleSmiles

I just knew that Boris Johnson ( henceforth known as Bodj ) has been reading my Last Laugh Looney Party blogs to pickup ideas of how to run the country.    The trouble is that he has not been reading it very carefully and he has got the wrong end of the political stick🤡

In my post on the 11th August I launched the Last Laugh Looney Party Manifesto for the upcoming election.    Bodj pinched the ideas but, turned them upside down.    Instead of cutting costs he is increasing them !   Silly billy.

Whereas the LLLP was going to have a foreign legion of deported criminals and a children’s airforce squadron of drone fighter pilots, all of of whom were doing it for free, Bodj is planning to spend £ billions on more on generals and air chief marshals and administrators and at least two more soldiers with guns.

But, I know he is copying some ideas, like reducing the number of MP’s, except Bodj is doing it by kicking them out of his own party one at a time 🤡

Bodj has got into the LLLP spirit of things by spending £200 million on buses, that must have been why he was making all those cardboard buses.   They won’t be very good in the rain though 🤡

Best of all Bodj is going to use £30 million protecting turtles 🐢🐢🐢🐢 there will be lots of votes in that idea.   Drenched out of his childhood memories, although Bodj has never really grown up, his new Cabinet will include Leonado, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo.

This new Ninja Cabinet will soon sort out Europe  🤡 !

It rather looks like the whole group of current political parties have totally banjaxed the Brexit question, unless there is a last minute climb down by the European Parliament.    I am still betting they will fudge it in the end and cobble together a half in / half out solution.

 BUT, just in case I am wrong and we need to be prepared for a General Election.   So the LLLP is dispensing with all talk of coilitions and going for an outright win.    It believes the public is totally fed up with the current group of  politicians and with their hollow promises.

So here are some first thoughts :-

• Step 1 — The  cost of the civil service to manage Government expenditure was £687 billion in 2011,  so goodness only knows what it is  now.   The LLLP will halve the civil service overnight —— no need for exit interviews just a simple enie meanie minei mo will do.    Of course there will be outrage about this, but it will blow over when everybody realises how much money will be saved.
• Step 2 — The UK Overseas Aid budget was £14 billion in 2017, the LLLP will give everybody £2,300 to every man, woman and child from the new LLLP Over-Here Aid budget, which used to be called the Overseas Aid budget,   If individuals disagree with this they can still give their share to charity.   Then they will close down the Department of International Affairs altogether.
• Step 3 — scrap the BBC licence fee and their Government grant,  this is an act of pure LLLP vindictiveness for taking free TV licences for older people.   The BBC costs almost £4 billion a year, the LLLP will pass the saving to all pensioners by increasing the state pension by £200 per year.    No doubt this will mean the BBC will have to cut back to endless repeats in future, so nothing much will change.
• Step 4 — Scrap the House of Lords and replace them with a People’s Senate selected by lottery  of the whole voting population to serve for only one year.   Currently the House of Lords costs us about £65 million a year.  Cutting it down from over 800 Peers to 100 Senators will save a lot of hot air and should only cost peanuts.
• Step 5 — halve the size of the House of Commons by the toss of a coin.  Heads your in, tails your out.   No fat pensions, no big redundancy payments, just get a proper job like everyone else.    The annual cost of around £250 million should also be halved and the savings be given to Battersea Dogs Home.   At least that is Coco’s suggestion 🐶

THIS WILL DO TO BE GOING ON WITH,  THERE WILL BE MORE IN THE DAYS AHEAD 😀 AS THE GENERAL ELECTION GETS NEARER.